How An Introvert Stopped Trying To Fix Herself

How An Introvert Stopped Trying To Fix Herself

Dear Innie Friend, I have a confession. There have been many times in my life when I have wished that there was a cure for my introversion. I wanted to be able to surround myself with people all the time, without feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I was seduced by the appeal of the extrovert’s high octane social life. Now that I’m an introvert author and coach with several hundred heartfelt articles about introversion under my belt, you would think I’d get over my desire to jump on the extrovert bandwagon. But then December rolls around (as it does without fail every year), and my little innie heart longs to do so much more than my social batteries permit. As it is, I’m already doing a lot more peopling than usual. I’ve been out and about shopping for presents and decorations. I’ve been entertaining a lot more, too. Even though I love solitude, I also love the way my house lights up with warmth and laughter when good friends come over. But there’s a problem. The breaking point There comes a point when all the extroverting takes its toll on me. Just when I think my introversion has been ‘cured’, and I can happily fill my days with constant doing and peopling, my body and mind put the breaks on. I start to have trouble focusing. I get restless. The most peculiar thing is that I begin feeling lonely, even though I am socializing more than ever. Over the years I’ve come to realize that these are all the warning signs that I’m headed for introvert burnout. The only solution...
How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t understand us introverts. For many extroverts, the introverted personality makes about as much sense as Snapchat does to my grandma. Even fellow introverts might be confused about what it means to be introverted. With all the ignorance out there about introversion, the thought of explaining our personality is daunting, to say the least. Still, we introverts want and need to be understood on a deeper level, especially by those we care about. Sure, showing the people we love an article like this one will do the trick sometimes. But I have to be honest, there comes a time when we all have to speak up about our introverted personality in real life, with real words (no emojis). And it isn’t always easy. It’s tough explaining our introverted personality to people who’ve been conditioned to think of introversion as an inferior personality type, or even a dysfunction. Case in point: This story will piss you off A while ago I did a radio interview for The Candy Palmater Show. During our discussion, Candy shared an experience that had introverts (including myself) across the nation shaking their heads in disgust. She recalled a workshop she attended in which the presenter talked about different personality types. The presenter wrote the words “introvert” and “extrovert” on the board, and then did the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the absolutely unforgivable … He drew a big huge X over “introvert” and circled “extrovert”. His message was loud and clear: introversion is the inferior personality type. All who want to succeed should strive for extroversion. As infuriating as this...
The Question Highly Sensitive People Are Asking Post-Election

The Question Highly Sensitive People Are Asking Post-Election

A lot of people think that those of us who are quiet and highly sensitive are weak. They believe that quiet + courageous is a contradiction. Now more than ever, I whole-heartedly disagree. No matter what your political views, you can’t deny that the recent US election has created a sense of division and brokenness. After reading posts from some of my favorite bloggers, I noticed a pattern in the comments. The phrase “I feel so helpless” came up a lot. But there is another, more hopeful trend, especially among my introverted and highly sensitive friends and colleagues. Highly sensitive does not mean helpless Many highly sensitive introverts are choosing not to run and hide post-election. We are not giving into the sense of helplessness. Instead, we are asking “What can we do? And how can we heal?” True to our conflict-averse nature, many highly sensitive introverts are ardently searching for ways to mend and unite. We want to gently break down the walls of division, rather than build them up. I see introverted leaders like Susan Cain, author of Quiet and creator of QuietRev.com, sharing Facebook posts like this one: Cain speaks her truth in a way that is clear, but never unkind. The overall theme of her message is, “What can we do? And how can we heal ?” I see my friend, publicity and business coach Selena Soo (who is a proud introvert and INFJ) making a stand for unity and compassion. Selena reached out to her community by email to address the “hate and mean-spirited language” fuelled by the US election. She reminded her peeps that real...
Peace, Unity & Kittens

Peace, Unity & Kittens

At a time when anger, hate, and division threaten our peace, any small efforts toward unity make a difference. So, in the spirit of small, but sincere contributions, I’ve created this Peace, Unity & Kittens Mug. All of my profits from the sale of this mug will go to the UN Refugee Agency (UNHCR). If you like this mug, I invite you to buy it here. Or use the social media share buttons below to spread the word. Peace & Love,  ...
How Empaths Can Heal From The US Election

How Empaths Can Heal From The US Election

If you’re an empath like me, you are feeling the effects of the recent US election right now. As you already know, the 2016 US election was a non-stop train wreck of nastiness that left the country shocked, fearful, and divided. As a highly sensitive empath, you not only feel your own emotions related to the US election, you also feel the anxiety, sadness, and anger of others. You feel the collective energy of fear within both your emotional and physical bodies. This creates a kind of emotional overload, which causes various unsettling symptoms. If you live in North America, you might be experiencing at least one of the below symptoms of empathic emotional overload: high levels of exhaustion and fatigue that seem out of sync with what is going on in your personal and professional life persistent nausea, coupled with an unshakeable sense of anxiety difficulty concentrating, and staying motivated erratic emotions – one minute you are okay, and the next you are moved to tears for seemingly no reason cold symptoms, such as a sore throat (emotions have a major impact on our immune system!) If you are experiencing any or all of the above, know that there is a good reason for this. An entire nation is emotionally shell-shocked right now. Being an empath, you have absorbed more than your share of the bullets. You are dealing with your own confusion and sadness, as well as the intense emotions of everyone around you. A surprising sensation Even though I am Canadian, live alone, and can go the whole day without seeing other people, I still feel the...

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