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10 Things an Introvert Wishes She’d Known Sooner

10 Things an Introvert Wishes She’d Known Sooner

The introverts of our generation have been led astray in many ways. There are about a bazillion (approximately) things the average introvert coulda-shoulda-woulda done differently if we weren’t raised in such an extrovert obsessed culture. In fact, one of the comments I get most from introvert readers is “I wish I’d understood my introversion sooner — my life would have been so different!”. Now that the world is starting to see the power of introverts, we are coming home to our introversion, and living with fewer regrets. Still, many introverts continue to hover in a purgatory of confusion and guilt about our personality. Hopefully, the below list will help you see your way through the fog, and live life on your own blissfully introverted terms. Here are 10 things I wish I’d known sooner as an introvert: 1) Busyness is not a virtue. I wish someone had told little innie me that busyness is not a virtue. It’s a lifestyle choice. For me, it was a fruitless one. It’s okay to leave empty spaces in your day. In fact, adding some nothingness to your day is productive because it reduces angry grumpy thoughts and increases your overall awesomeness. 2) Stop viewing yourself through a distorted lens. Some people are going to think you’re weird, or snobby, or sad because you’re a daydreamer and solitude seeker. Don’t give into the pressure to view yourself through their distorted lens. Embrace and love the true you, and one day the right people will see you in all your gloriously strange splendour. 3) As an introvert, fewer friends is more fulfilling. Popularity is overrated. Focus on the... read more
Could you be an ambivert?

Could you be an ambivert?

Introvert, or extrovert? That is the question … or is it? For years now, I’ve talked ad nauseum about introversion, and how it differs from extroversion. Meanwhile, I’ve neglected an entire personality type: The mysterious “ambivert”. What the heck is an ambivert? If you’re thinking “ambit-what?”, don’t worry, you’re not the only one who is confused by this term. An ambivert, which is the personality type right smack dab in the middle between an introvert and an extrovert, is an anomaly to most of us. We imagine some strange cross between Bill Clinton and Keannu Reeves. This mix n’match concoction of a person looks like any other human, but really they are a hybrid. They have an extrovert’s nose, an introvert’s eyes, an extrovert’s femur, an introvert’s right tendon … Of course, the above picture is far from accurate. Outward physical characteristics don’t determine whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert. Identical twins can fall on vastly different sections of the personality spectrum. To answer what does make an ambivert different than an innie or outie, I think it’s important to get back to the basics. Introvert vs. extrovert 101 An introvert is someone who gains energy from being alone, and loses energy in stimulating environments, such as social situations. An extrovert is someone who is energized by being out and about and socializing.There are several traits associated with being an introvert or extrovert. Introvert – often quiet – tends to speak more slowly – drained by crowds, busy environments, loud noises – enjoys solitude – hates small talk – hates the phone Extrovert – talkative – can keep... read more
Why Introverts Hate Group Conversations

Why Introverts Hate Group Conversations

Group conversations are, and always have been, a pain in the ass for me. They make me feel awkward, inhibited, and totally out of my element. As a fellow introvert, maybe you can relate? You know what it’s like to wonder what to say and when to say it. You wait for a pause so you can share your thoughts, but it never comes. So, you stay quiet. Then comes the worst part … “Why are you so quiet?” they ask, as if it weren’t the most annoying question in the history of annoying questions. You already felt weird for not knowing what to say. Now, you’re also embarrassed that others have noticed. If you’ve ever experienced the above scenario, you are all too familiar with the PAIN of group conversations for introverts. You’ll also probably relate to my disdain for work lunchrooms, and small talk. So, how can little ol’ introverted me become an ace at group conversations? How can I be that person who always knows what to say, and when to say it. The one who tells long hilarious stories, and commands the conversation like a boss. To be honest, I probably can’t — at least not on a consistent basis. Now, before you get all “you can do anything you put your mind to” on me, hear me out. Why it’s so hard Group conversations work against, rather than with, an introvert’s strengths. They overwhelm us, and don’t give us enough time to think about what we want to say. Asking an introvert to command a group conversation (in a social setting, not a meeting) is... read more
How To Spot an Introvert

How To Spot an Introvert

Have you ever wondered where all the other introverts are hiding? Since introverts often disguise ourselves as extroverts, it can be hard to spot us. Another reason we’re so elusive is that we often purposely go under the radar, choosing to stay quiet instead of shouting for attention. In case you’re on an introvert hunt, I’ve put together 5 surefire ways to spot an introvert: They avoid the group They speak slowly They are inconsistent when it comes to socializing They never want to talk on the phone They enjoy being alone Watch the above video for a more detailed explanation. If you notice any of these signs, chances are, you’ve spotted an introvert. Don’t be surprised if you already have many innies in your life. We’re everywhere! 😉... read more
Introvert – How to NOT feel guilty for staying home

Introvert – How to NOT feel guilty for staying home

Staying home is meant to be bliss for an introvert. But this isn’t always the case. Often, our sweet solitude turns sour. And here’s the most annoying part: Our staycations and hibernations are foiled by something we feel like we have no control over. Something that is both our greatest ally and our most feared opponent. Have you guessed what I’m talking about yet? It’s our own mind, of course. The minute we take some precious introvert “me time”, our brain starts making us feel guilty about it. Introverts don’t trust ourselves The problem is, we don’t trust ourselves. We think that one night in will multiply to six, then ten, then before we know it we are Forever Alone and surrounded by cats. There’s another, more painful reason for our guilt. We think that alone means selfish. And selfish means bad. And bad means unloveable. We really can’t help thinking this way. This simple train of logic was branded on our innocent introvert brain before we could even speak. It’s all so sad because being alone is a necessary perk of being an introvert. We can plug ourselves into solitude and magically emerge recharged and ready to take on the world again. So, how can an introvert shed the guilt, and actually enjoy staying home? 3 Steps to get rid of introvert guilt: Find the source of your introvert guilt. Do you feel guilty because you believe that liking your alone time is selfish? Do you fear that you’ll love hibernating so much that you’ll never want to emerge from your cave? Do you believe that others will judge you for... read more
INTP Personality: The Inventive Logician

INTP Personality: The Inventive Logician

The INTP personality type is very rare, making up only 3% of the population. This is however a good thing for them, because they like to draw and think outside the lines. Their intellect and keen sense of understanding makes them ideal inventors. The level of logic the INTPs have at their disposal is unparalleled. Though often they appear to daydream, the fact is that they are wondering. INTPs monitor and search the realm of ideas more than any other personality. For an INTP personality, nothing is impossible. it’s only a matter of time. When focused on a task, nothing can break their concentration and desire to explore. I had the honor of meeting one INTP in my life. He is a bio-genetics researcher, and one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. The INTP personality knowledge quest “Everything can be explained.” This was the sentence my INTP acquaintance repeated numerous times. For INTPs, no stone will be left unturned when their mind gets excited and starts analyzing. Often you will notice that an INTP personality seems confused, maybe even lost. The reality is quite different. Their cognitive process of thinking is so complex, that it can be compared to the Spock character from Star Trek. Guided by logic, INTPs are not led by emotions. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t have them. They simply seek a logical solution that can help and be meaningful. Sometimes referred to as “cold”, INTPs say the truth that many don’t want to hear. An INTP’s mind is their guide and biggest support Far from being indifferent, the INTP personality... read more
ISTP Personality – The Crafter Explained

ISTP Personality – The Crafter Explained

“If the rules only get in the way, then the rules must change” – these words are fundamental to the ISTP personality. ISTP personality types like to stimulate our senses. We also tend to take risks and bend, or even break, the rules. Have you ever been in a emergency situation? ISTPs are the ones who get you out of it. Do you watch extreme sports or daredevil videos? ISTPs are usually the ones doing it. We are fiercely independent and like to keep our lives open to whatever we feel like doing. But we don’t just jump into something and think about it later. We must analyze all angles, and go with what angle works best. We do not respect the rules of the “system”, but follow our own rules faithfully. We’re fiercely loyal to our causes and beliefs. If you violate these beliefs, we can be cold and dismissive. Here are some famous ISTPs you might have heard of: Famous ISTP Personality Types Michael Jordan Bill Murray Bruce Lee Scarlett Johansson Tom Cruise Clint Eastwood Demi Moore Emily Blunt Anna Kndrick James Dean Snoop Dogg John Malkovich Harrison Ford Christian Bale Frank Zappa Dalai Lama Steve Jobs Vladimir Putin ..To name a few The most famous ISTP personality of all time? A classic example of an ISTP personality would be the iconic character of James Bond, 007. The British spy has all the traits of our personality type. He will analyze a situation until he finds the best way to handle it on his own terms. In the face of danger or emergency, he is calm and... read more
ISFP Personality Type: The Sensual Artist

ISFP Personality Type: The Sensual Artist

The ISFP personality type, which makes up about 9% of the population, relates to the world through the senses.  Their sensory approach to life drives their hobbies, career choices and relationships. But not in the way you might think. The present moment is an ISFP’s happy place. Like true zen masters, ISFPs have been living in the Now since long before Eckhart Tolle made it cool. Though they may seem carefree and even self-indulgent at first glance, the ISFP personality type takes life very seriously. All of their exploits are driven by their deeper values. Their core beliefs are the winds that direct the sails of their decisions. Unlike the more logical types, such as the ISTJ and INTJ, the ISFP is not interested in planning a secure future. Their main goal in life is to build identity in the here and now. They are creating a collage of experiences that align with their values. For the ISFP personality type, the beauty is in the process rather than the final product. And if there is one thing ISFPs know about, it’s beauty. The ISFP eye for aesthetics The ISFP personality type has a natural eye for aesthetics. They are the hands-on artists who transform everyday objects and spaces into a sensory delight. Whether their creation is in the form of visual art, music, or interior design, it is sure to titillate the senses. ISFPs also have a deep appreciation for the beauty of nature. The ISFP personality type at work The ISFP personality type will often choose a career that allows them to be creative and work with their hands. They might... read more
INFP Personality Type: Convention is My Poison

INFP Personality Type: Convention is My Poison

I’m an INFP personality type. Conventional paths in life don’t satisfy me. Never have. It feels like my entire life has been a mission to find one thing or another. First, I had to discover who I was (an introverted idealist with a powerful creative streak). Next, I wanted to know where I fit in on planet earth (nowhere and everywhere). Finally, I set my sights on finding my purpose. This one is still in progress, but it mostly consists of connecting the dots and writing it all down. The INFP personality type in the wild You might have noticed me “in the wild”. You probably mistook me for a shy wallflower. Little did you know that beneath my stoic exterior there is fire. Like most INFPs, I’m passionate about my principles. My heart burns with a desire to discover, change, and grow. Here are some famous INFPs you might have heard of: Famous INFPs Audrey Hepburn Princess Diana Helen Keller C.S. Lewis J.R.R. Tolkien J.K. Rowling Bjork John Kerry Cameron Crowe John F. Kennedy Jr. Lisa Kudrow George Lucas Beck Isabel Briggs Myers As an INFP personality type, I’m open-minded and open-hearted. I always seek to understand without judgment; yet I’m rarely understood. Comprising only 4% of the population, I’m an enigma to most. That’s why I try my best to offer others the unconditional acceptance I rarely encounter. Unless you violate one of my core principles, I will accept you for who you are – no matter how odd a human you might be. In fact, I’m drawn to unconventional people because they satisfy my intense curiosity.... read more
How To Be An INFJ

How To Be An INFJ

The INFJ personality is the rarest Myers-Briggs type. These unique butterflies comprise only 1% of the world’s population. Even to Carl Jung, who is widely considered to be the founder of the personality examination, INFJs are the “mysterious ones”. Few understand the complex beauty of an INFJ mind. Many are intrigued by its deep understanding, and intuition. It is extremely rare to meet an INFJ personality in person. Everyone, including myself, will confirm that this is a special moment. You are not just meeting anyone, you are meeting a rare gem. Rare, but extremely valuable Even though I am an INFJ myself, I have never met one in person. However, I am lucky that several of my closest friends are INFJs. We haven’t met in real life yet, but having a virtual INFJ friend can also be wonderful! Speaking through Skype, my INFJ friend and I admitted that we are “scared” of how we will react when we first meet. The meeting of two INFJs is the equivalent of winning a lottery two times in a row. Many INFJs I speak with on a daily basis have the same problem. Because we are people oriented, we act like a small colony of meerkats when we find each other. We cherish and protect one another. Quality over quantity best describes an INFJ meeting. ☺ What’s important to know about the INFJ personality? What’s crucial to understand about INFJs is that we know we are rare. We know that the majority of people don’t understand us. This is why we value our own company more than anything. However, we care deeply... read more

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