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Trump: So Bad Even Introverts Can’t Keep Quiet

Trump: So Bad Even Introverts Can’t Keep Quiet

President Donald Trump has created a unique dilemma for many introverts. Allow me to explain with a scenario most introverts will relate to. Imagine you’re on a plane, and fate has sat you right next to someone who won’t shut up. They talk and talk and talk without pause. Under normal circumstances you would politely nod and pretend to listen, while looking for the nearest exit. But guess what. It’s a plane! You can’t escape until that puppy lands. Unfortunately, this happens to be a very long flight. The Trump plane isn’t scheduled to land for another four years. This leaves introverts with a choice: Stay quiet or speak up about Trump? For others, this might sound like a simple choice. But for introverts, the decision to boldly voice our opinion is not one that we take lightly. We are, by our very nature, calm and conflict-averse. Speaking out against bullies is sure to create some conflict. So, yeah, it takes a lot to get us to the point where we tell the obnoxious dude on the plane to shut up. I don’t know about you, but for me it takes … Being ignored and underestimated by a narcissistic bully who doesn’t know how to listen Dishonesty, half-truths, and, yes, even ‘alternative facts’ Chauvinism, sexism, racism, and any other form of unfair discrimination Constant fear mongering and the overwhelming energy of anxiety it creates At this particular moment, I feel like the noisy POTUS sitting next to me on the plane embodies all of the above. And I simply cannot keep quiet anymore. Never mind the fact that I’m an introvert, and... read more
How to Have Fun Dating When You’re an Introvert

How to Have Fun Dating When You’re an Introvert

Dating is hard when you gain energy from alone time, rather than socializing. But believe it or not, dating as an introvert can be fun and easy. First of all, let’s banish the stereotype of introverts being hermits who hole up in their closet with a book. The fact is, as an introvert, you’re at your best when you have alone time to recharge. Relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can be straining enough on your energy reserves. Add onto that having to approach a perfect stranger and find something to talk about? Yikes. If you’re not a social butterfly, how can you convince a special someone that you’re not anti-social, while avoiding boring yourself stiff with small talk? Here are 4 tools you can use to make dating as an introvert feel natural and fun. 1. Prepare a list of topics As an introvert, you hate small talk because it’s inconsequential, so you avoid it at all costs. Prepare a list of topics before you meet up with your date, so when imagination runs dry, you can throw in a new subject to keep things going. Flirt.com has a list of the best things to talk about on a first date to get you started. Whether your date is extroverted or introverted, they’ll find you more interesting if you skip over the mundane. 2. Think of it as a friendship first Introverts are chronic over-thinkers. Rather than trying to decide whether your date will think you’re fat and cheat on you when you’re fifty-six, scale it back a bit and take the pressure off. Instead of putting them... read more
INFJ Self-Care: Why You Put Yourself Last

INFJ Self-Care: Why You Put Yourself Last

INFJ self-care is a hot topic these days, and for good reason. If there’s one thing INFJs struggle with, it’s this: putting ourselves first – or even second, or third, for that matter. We care for others all the time, You won’t find a more supportive friend, and understanding partner than an INFJ. The level of our care and concern for the wellbeing of those we cherish is otherworldly. Problems occur when we focus little on our own needs. Taking care of ourselves is not easy for the INFJ personality. A daunting task Imagine this scenario. You are invited to a social gathering (a party or conference). Your INFJ intuition is screaming that you shouldn’t go because you will get overwhelmed. The people there are extroverts who always call out introverts as “weird”. Saying no as a primary INFJ self-care tool sounds like a good choice. However, here’s what happens instead. You accept the invitation because you feel guilty that you’ll offend someone if you don’t go. Your kind INFJ mind doesn’t want to argue. Instead, you go to a place, which will only cause you to feel drained. You’re also dreading hearing questions like: “Why are you so quiet?” or “Why are you standing near the exit?” I experienced this scenario more times than I can count. Instead of spending a quiet night, tucked in your blanket fort, and watching Netflix, you attend a noisy, unpleasant gathering. And you feel terrible about it. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. INFJs want to make everyone around us feel good, but we forget that we, too, need to take care... read more
The #1 Way Introverts Can Be More Creative

The #1 Way Introverts Can Be More Creative

Are you a creative introvert? Here’s a scenario from your student days that might sound painfully familiar: It’s 6pm on the day before a big assignment is due. Your final grade depends on you acing this paper. But there’s one very big catch. It’s a group project, so you’ve got to work as a team to make sure everyone succeeds. In what seems like the trillionth group meeting, you are trying to hammer out a creative conclusion for your argument. Then it happens. The loudest person in the group yells out a lame idea, and the others seem to be on board. You want to wave your arms in the air and say, “Please, no! We can do better than that. At least, I know that I can do better than that.” Unfortunately, there is no “I” in team. There is, however, most definitely an “I” in “introvert”, and that is exactly what you are. This means that your best ideas emerge in solitude. Why The Creative Introvert Needs Quiet As an introvert, your creative powers, which are about as badass as they come, can only be accessed in solitude. You need quiet to connect dots, and create worlds. You also require solitude to to give your brain a break from all the overstimulation assaults you face each day. Think of it this way: You know that children’s story, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, by Judy and Ron Barrett? It’s about this town where the townsfolk get all their meals from the daily shower of food from the sky. This is all fine and good until suddenly the... read more
These Hilarious Introvert Doodles Will Make You LOL

These Hilarious Introvert Doodles Will Make You LOL

Introvert Doodles Book Review by an Introvert Author and Blogger Have you seen those cute, funny, and oh-so-true little comics by Maureen “Marzi” Wilson floating around the Internet? Okay, maybe “floating” isn’t the right word. Marzi, the creator of Introvert Doodles, and her images have been doing a viral dance across the web for a while now. And she hasn’t stopped there. Marzi recently released her first book, Introvert Doodles: An Illustrated Look at Introvert Life in an Extrovert World. Being an introvert author myself, I had the good luck to receive a review copy of the book. Read on to discover my honest review of Introvert Doodles by Maureen “Marzi” Wilson. My honest Introvert Doodles book review + peek inside Okay, so let’s start with what this book is all about. Introvert Doodles is a colorful illustrated adventure through the eyes of a card-carrying introvert. Hold on tight, because Marzi is about to take you through all of our glorious idiosyncrasies, and quirks. You’re sure to see yourself in plenty of the scenarios she draws into life. Best of all, you’ll enjoy many laughs along the way. This is not a serious, smartsy-fartsy kind of book, people! Introvert Doodles gives the world something much more important than a bunch of boring facts and research studies. Through page after page of hilariously relatable scenarios, Marzi gives introverts the chance to lighten up a little. And she doesn’t do it in a patronizing way, like when some obnoxious dude you just met says, “why are you so serious. SMILE!”. Nope. Through honest, heartwarming, and comical imagery, Introvert Doodles gives introverts permission... read more
How An Introvert Stopped Trying To Fix Herself

How An Introvert Stopped Trying To Fix Herself

Dear Innie Friend, I have a confession. There have been many times in my life when I have wished that there was a cure for my introversion. I wanted to be able to surround myself with people all the time, without feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I was seduced by the appeal of the extrovert’s high octane social life. Now that I’m an introvert author and coach with several hundred heartfelt articles about introversion under my belt, you would think I’d get over my desire to jump on the extrovert bandwagon. But then December rolls around (as it does without fail every year), and my little innie heart longs to do so much more than my social batteries permit. As it is, I’m already doing a lot more peopling than usual. I’ve been out and about shopping for presents and decorations. I’ve been entertaining a lot more, too. Even though I love solitude, I also love the way my house lights up with warmth and laughter when good friends come over. But there’s a problem. The breaking point There comes a point when all the extroverting takes its toll on me. Just when I think my introversion has been ‘cured’, and I can happily fill my days with constant doing and peopling, my body and mind put the breaks on. I start to have trouble focusing. I get restless. The most peculiar thing is that I begin feeling lonely, even though I am socializing more than ever. Over the years I’ve come to realize that these are all the warning signs that I’m headed for introvert burnout. The only solution... read more
The Top 5 Ways To Annoy An INFJ

The Top 5 Ways To Annoy An INFJ

INFJs are not easy to annoy. We are peaceful by default and natural born diplomats. Our tolerance levels are off the charts … most of the time. Even though INFJs can put up with a lot, some annoying moments can utterly overwhelm us. Our pet peeves are especially obvious at social events and gatherings. In these environments people push our buttons in all kinds of ways. The next 5 situations I’m about to share are the ones we INFJs wish we could avoid. 1. Dismissing our feelings and opinions. There is nothing worse for an INFJ than when our opinions and feelings are discarded. We feel worthless and humiliated. The worst part? As a people-oriented personality, we genuinely value people. So when we face external dismissiveness and rejection we feel like we don’t matter. 2. Making false assumptions about us. Understanding as we are, it really bothers us when we face judgement. We start doubting ourselves, wondering what kind of impression we left. As a result, this one question flies around us like a pesky mosquito: “What did I do wrong?” 3. Picking on someone who is defenceless. Seeing bullying of any kind throws us completely off balance. We simply don’t and can’t tolerate it. It doesn’t matter if it’s us who is being picked on or someone else. We are natural guardians. We just can’t stand by and watch when we see injustice. 4. Not allowing us time to think. As INFJs, we are internal processors. We need time to mentally digest what is being said. So, when someone rushes us, our reaction, of course, is annoyance. The... read more
How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t understand us introverts. For many extroverts, the introverted personality makes about as much sense as Snapchat does to my grandma. Even fellow introverts might be confused about what it means to be introverted. With all the ignorance out there about introversion, the thought of explaining our personality is daunting, to say the least. Still, we introverts want and need to be understood on a deeper level, especially by those we care about. Sure, showing the people we love an article like this one will do the trick sometimes. But I have to be honest, there comes a time when we all have to speak up about our introverted personality in real life, with real words (no emojis). And it isn’t always easy. It’s tough explaining our introverted personality to people who’ve been conditioned to think of introversion as an inferior personality type, or even a dysfunction. Case in point: This story will piss you off A while ago I did a radio interview for The Candy Palmater Show. During our discussion, Candy shared an experience that had introverts (including myself) across the nation shaking their heads in disgust. She recalled a workshop she attended in which the presenter talked about different personality types. The presenter wrote the words “introvert” and “extrovert” on the board, and then did the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the absolutely unforgivable … He drew a big huge X over “introvert” and circled “extrovert”. His message was loud and clear: introversion is the inferior personality type. All who want to succeed should strive for extroversion. As infuriating as this... read more
The Question Highly Sensitive People Are Asking Post-Election

The Question Highly Sensitive People Are Asking Post-Election

A lot of people think that those of us who are quiet and highly sensitive are weak. They believe that quiet + courageous is a contradiction. Now more than ever, I whole-heartedly disagree. No matter what your political views, you can’t deny that the recent US election has created a sense of division and brokenness. After reading posts from some of my favorite bloggers, I noticed a pattern in the comments. The phrase “I feel so helpless” came up a lot. But there is another, more hopeful trend, especially among my introverted and highly sensitive friends and colleagues. Highly sensitive does not mean helpless Many highly sensitive introverts are choosing not to run and hide post-election. We are not giving into the sense of helplessness. Instead, we are asking “What can we do? And how can we heal?” True to our conflict-averse nature, many highly sensitive introverts are ardently searching for ways to mend and unite. We want to gently break down the walls of division, rather than build them up. I see introverted leaders like Susan Cain, author of Quiet and creator of QuietRev.com, sharing Facebook posts like this one: Cain speaks her truth in a way that is clear, but never unkind. The overall theme of her message is, “What can we do? And how can we heal ?” I see my friend, publicity and business coach Selena Soo (who is a proud introvert and INFJ) making a stand for unity and compassion. Selena reached out to her community by email to address the “hate and mean-spirited language” fuelled by the US election. She reminded her peeps that real... read more
How Empaths Can Heal From The US Election

How Empaths Can Heal From The US Election

If you’re an empath like me, you are feeling the effects of the recent US election right now. As you already know, the 2016 US election was a non-stop train wreck of nastiness that left the country shocked, fearful, and divided. As a highly sensitive empath, you not only feel your own emotions related to the US election, you also feel the anxiety, sadness, and anger of others. You feel the collective energy of fear within both your emotional and physical bodies. This creates a kind of emotional overload, which causes various unsettling symptoms. If you live in North America, you might be experiencing at least one of the below symptoms of empathic emotional overload: high levels of exhaustion and fatigue that seem out of sync with what is going on in your personal and professional life persistent nausea, coupled with an unshakeable sense of anxiety difficulty concentrating, and staying motivated erratic emotions – one minute you are okay, and the next you are moved to tears for seemingly no reason cold symptoms, such as a sore throat (emotions have a major impact on our immune system!) If you are experiencing any or all of the above, know that there is a good reason for this. An entire nation is emotionally shell-shocked right now. Being an empath, you have absorbed more than your share of the bullets. You are dealing with your own confusion and sadness, as well as the intense emotions of everyone around you. A surprising sensation Even though I am Canadian, live alone, and can go the whole day without seeing other people, I still feel the... read more

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