Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

If there’s one thing INFJs don’t like, it’s conflict. Our personality is peaceful by nature, and everything that even resembles conflict we avoid by default. INFJs are diplomats with a kind and understanding heart. We believe that every situation can be resolved without conflict. However, in order to handle and face an INFJ conflict, we must first recognize where it comes from. The inner INFJ conflict Conflict only gives birth to unnecessary harsh language and actions. It fuels negative energy among people. Just imagine the effects it can have on extroverts. Now multiply that by a hundred when it comes to INFJs. You might think that because I’m a certified INFJ coach and a writer, I’m in complete control over every INFJ conflict situation I face. However, the truth is… I easily get scared when facing conflict. I often thought that walking away was always the best solution. That’s exactly what I did. But I only made the situation worse. For years I blamed myself for being bullied in high school, never allowing myself to acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I thought I was the source of conflict because I was quiet and always buried deeply in my books. Humiliation became my everyday routine during the four years of high school, because I was afraid of starting a situation that could potentially turn into a conflict. It wasn’t until I graduated that I realized how wrong I was for thinking it was my fault. I discovered that conflict doesn’t come from the outside. It comes firstly from within. In one of my favorite INFJ conflict examples, I’ll demonstrate how...
Empath Compassion Fatigue: 7 Signs You Have It + How To Heal

Empath Compassion Fatigue: 7 Signs You Have It + How To Heal

If you’re an empath, you are all too familiar with overwhelm and burnout. But did you know that you are also particularly susceptible to something called “empath compassion fatigue”? It turns out that for empaths, who literally feel the emotions and energy of others, compassion is not a limitless resource. Empath compassion fatigue is the point when you reach your limit. Suddenly, you realize that your emotional stores are depleted and your compassion has been replaced by apathy, or even anger. Compassion fatigue, which is also known as “secondary traumatization”, is caused by the emotional residue from working with people or animals who have suffered from trauma. This can occur after exposure to one trauma case, or it can be cumulative. You see, all the pain and suffering you encounter can build up over time. Layer after layer settles on your gentle empath heart and soul. Eventually, it weighs you down, and quells your motivation. Who suffers from empath compassion fatigue? While all empaths are susceptible to compassion fatigue, there are some who are more at risk than others. Compassion fatigue is considered to be an occupational hazard for anyone working in a caregiving role. Careers that commonly lead to empath compassion fatigue include: doctor counsellor psychologist nurse EMT support worker veterinarian animal shelter worker As you can see, careers that place empaths in close contact with those who have suffered trauma inevitably lead to empath compassion fatigue. But what about all the unofficial caregivers out there? Oftentimes, empaths attract or are attracted to those in need. You are drawn in by the stories of shame and suffering. You...
The Top 10 INFJ Careers

The Top 10 INFJ Careers

Dear INFJ friend, Choosing the top INFJ careers that will satisfy all our needs is not easy. It’s a hard road filled with obstacles. We are unique, so not all jobs are suitable for our rare personality. INFJs excel in many areas. There’s a reason why we are called advocates, diplomats, counselors, and healers. INFJs are the perfect negotiators. Despite all our amazing gifts, it’s not easy to find the best INFJ careers. That’s why I’ve put together the a list of the top 10 INFJ careers for you. I made an infographic, too, which I’ll share a bit later in this article, but first I want to talk about why it’s so tough for INFJs to find the right career. The INFJ careers conundrum While searching for our true calling, INFJs face a lot of obstacles. To help you better prepare, here are the three primary issues every INFJ I had the chance to speak with has faced when choosing a career: 1. You need to make a difference The first issue is that making a difference seems impossible. The nature of the job itself isn’t that important as long as it enables us to make a difference. I’m not talking about finishing a day’s work type of difference, but rather something else. The difference I speak about is an all or nothing affair. Waking up every morning and knowing that what we do means something and that it helps someone is our motivation. It’s what gives us energy and focus. An INFJ has to feel fulfilled or he or she risks becoming indifferent. It’s a really bad sign...
Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Dear INFJ friend, You’ll probably relate to this. As an INFJ, you most likely already know that we are magnets for narcissist personalities. What troubles us the most is the feeling of guilt INFJs feel when we start thinking it’s our fault. We are our own worst critics, especially when we face external pressure. I had my share of relationships with narcissists and I always felt like it was all my fault. I felt worthless and lonely. So I had to ask myself… Why narcissist personalities prey on INFJs INFJs are called protectors. However, that protection can go against our own better judgement. Because we want to indulge and “fix” our partner or friend who is a narcissist, we unconsciously sabotage our own feelings. Desperately wanting to give love, INFJs start losing the one thing we need the most — self-love. According to Deborah Ward, the author of “Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness”, it’s important to remember that it’s not your love narcissist personalities need. It’s their own. Ward adds: “You will never be able to ‘fix’ anyone. Everyone has their own path to follow and to become a whole and healthy person, everyone needs to walk that path on their own, making their own mistakes, learning to pick themselves up, and discovering how to love themselves.” Narcissists will only see their own image reflected when they look at you. They will never see who you really are. It’s pointless to try to give love to a narcissist. They will never be satisfied, or grateful. What you need to do is give that love to yourself, because you deserve...
THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

Having an introverted personality impacts every area of your life. It’s obvious how your introversion influences your career and relationships, but is it possible that there is a link between personality and food? And is there such a thing as an ideal introvert diet? As an introvert, you might have already noticed that you have unique dietary needs. For example, you might be more sensitive to stimulants, such as caffeine and refined sugar. Perhaps, you’ve also discovered that eating certain foods does crazy things to your already unpredictable energy levels. Is it possible that your introversion has something to do with these diet sensitivities? The research on the subject is thin, but I’ve uncovered some important links between personality and diet: Many introverts, identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP) — especially those with ‘IN’ Myers-Briggs personality types (INFP, INFJ, INTJ, INTP) . When you are HSP, you experience hypersensitivity to external AND internal stimuli. Caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and various chemicals are all forms of stimuli that can create fatigue, anxiety, and mental fog in HSPs. Introverts are deep thinkers, who make decisions based on their internal experience. Many introverts carefully contemplate — and, even obsess — over the foods we choose to eat, making sure to consider how these foods line up with our values. This can lead to a highly specific introvert diet, which takes into account all sorts of factors, such as animal welfare, the environment, longevity, and disease prevention. Many introverts also consider themselves to be empaths. This means that we literally feel the energy and emotions of others. This can impact diet in two...
How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

Loneliness is the biggest obstacle slowing down INFJs on the road to happiness. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is not easy. No other feeling causes so much anxiety and sadness. What separates loneliness from other roadblocks on the INFJ path is that it can show its face anytime and anywhere. Why is overcoming loneliness hard for INFJs? Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people, listening the sound of small talk, and feeling judgmental eyes looking straight at you? I know I have plenty of times. Even today I face judging words — “He is weird, quiet, and strange”—  because I love spending hours in bookstores by myself, and love having dinner alone in a restaurant. If I’m honest, I feel lonely where I am now. But I’m balancing that feeling because there are plenty of moments when happiness embraces me. The source of my loneliness comes from the knowledge that people I hold dear live thousands of miles away. Also, my full potential will only be fulfilled when I reach my dream and leave my current location. It will happen, but until then, loneliness and me are stuck with each other. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is hard because we often feel misunderstood. We feel that no one gets us and that we’re all alone in our way of thinking. It feels lonely when INFJs constantly need to explain why solitude is important, why we feel lonely in a crowd, or why we need peace and quiet. It’s not easy to win a race against loneliness, but it’s possible. The best strategy to conquer INFJ loneliness A review by researchers at the University...