An Introvert’s Strange Sleeping Disorder

An Introvert’s Strange Sleeping Disorder

  2 am knows all my secrets. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I’m an introvert. We introverts crave the absolute solitude that only the cloak of night can offer. While others are snoozing soundly, dreaming of showing up to school naked, we are wide awake. And enjoying every minute. I used to think that my strange sleeping patterns were just a glitch in my internal clock, something I could fix with practice and determination. But now I know that there are just too many factors that keep an introvert like me awake at night. Quiet house, loud thoughts Since nighttime is usually the quietest time of day in any home, it is also when we introverts hear our own thoughts most clearly. When the lights go out, our brain turns on. We think about our problems, our projects, our passions, and our people. While others stay up to canoodle with their partners, we whisper sweet nothings in our own ear. We must copulate with every idea, dream, and worry until our brain puts on its flannel pyjamas and says it has a headache. Secret conversations Late at night is also when we have the best and most honest conversations with ourselves. Some might call this weird, or even crazy. In truth, our inner conversations are what keep an introvert sane. Unfortunately, they also keep us sleep deprived much of the time. On top of our own thoughts, we have another more sneaky adversary on our quest for eight hours of good night’s sleep. The sneakiest sleep thief This particular obstacle has gotten...
Introvert – How to NOT feel guilty for staying home

Introvert – How to NOT feel guilty for staying home

Staying home is meant to be bliss for an introvert. But this isn’t always the case. Often, our sweet solitude turns sour. And here’s the most annoying part: Our staycations and hibernations are foiled by something we feel like we have no control over. Something that is both our greatest ally and our most feared opponent. Have you guessed what I’m talking about yet? It’s our own mind, of course. The minute we take some precious introvert “me time”, our brain starts making us feel guilty about it. Introverts don’t trust ourselves The problem is, we don’t trust ourselves. We think that one night in will multiply to six, then ten, then before we know it we are Forever Alone and surrounded by cats. There’s another, more painful reason for our guilt. We think that alone means selfish. And selfish means bad. And bad means unloveable. We really can’t help thinking this way. This simple train of logic was branded on our innocent introvert brain before we could even speak. It’s all so sad because being alone is a necessary perk of being an introvert. We can plug ourselves into solitude and magically emerge recharged and ready to take on the world again. So, how can an introvert shed the guilt, and actually enjoy staying home? 3 Steps to get rid of introvert guilt: Find the source of your introvert guilt. Do you feel guilty because you believe that liking your alone time is selfish? Do you fear that you’ll love hibernating so much that you’ll never want to emerge from your cave? Do you believe that others will judge you for...
An Introvert’s Happy Place

An Introvert’s Happy Place

I’m writing to you from some place special today. It’s a place that is near and dear to my heart. I’m curled up in a blanket with a hot mug of herbal tea in hand, the ocean within view, and my writing apparatus at my fingertips. In other words, I’m in my happy place. We all know the saying, “happiness is a state of mind”. For introverts, the right environment is key for creating the right state of mind. We need to find our own little introvert friendly happy place. In our happy place, there is probably something soft and cuddly – a blanket, an animal friend, a big comfy couch. there is also likely something that tickles our brain cilia, like music, art supplies, or a pen and paper. Let’s be honest, Netflix is probably accessible, too. We might have a view of nature from our happy place. Perhaps it’s even situated smack dab in the middle of nature – say, under a tree, or on the shores of a private beach. The important thing is that our happy place allows us to retreat from external reality and focus on our internal world. The obstacles to happy No matter where our happy place is located, there are sure to be some obstacles to getting there. Often, the obligation monster creeps up on us the moment we even think of retreating to our happy place. “Oh, but you have too much to do to take a break,” he says. In our culture, we are told that solitude is a sin. Taking time for yourself is unproductive, and therefore, should be...
If Introverts Ruled The World (A Fairytale)

If Introverts Ruled The World (A Fairytale)

My imagination feels like a real person to me. When I’m alone, she keeps me company. We have lots of fun together, me and my Imagination. As you might know, I recently finished writing my book on introverted charisma. Now that I have a bit more headspace, I’ve been exploring fairytales and fiction. With today’s post, I’d like to take you on a journey through an imaginary world where introverts rule supreme. It’s a short and sweet fairytale that I hope will add a little magic to your day. Enjoy. 😃 If Introverts Ruled The World (A Fairytale) Long ago, in a land not so far away, there lived a girl named Inis. Inis was six years old and small, and she liked it that way. It was the ideal age to get into tiny spaces adults were too large to pass through. It was the perfect age to be invisible. Inis could curl up in corners and read for hours. Or frolic through her backyard – which was really an enchanted forrest, or a secret fairy garden, or a majestic ice kingdom, depending on how she felt that day. The imaginary kingdoms Inis created all had a few things in common: In the Land of Inis Slowdon – whether that was a land of dwarves and dragons, or ice princesses and peasants, or giant wizards as tall as trees – words were carefully chosen, and spoken with care. Play did not have to be loud or enthusiastic. All the inhabitants in the land understood that the best games were created and played in one’s imagination. You could sit in...
Introvert: When your mind turns against you

Introvert: When your mind turns against you

Let’s talk about a situation that makes a lot of introverts hate themselves. This particular scenario used to happen to me a lot when I was around extroverts. It can happen anywhere, but let’s just say you’re are at a bar: You go in feeling pretty good about yourself. You know bars aren’t really your scene, but you’re with your friends, and you have some liquid courage on hand. Then you start to feel tired. As your energy plummets, everything around you picks up speed. More people show up. The music gets louder. All of a sudden, new people are sitting at your table with your friends. This is when it begins. No matter how much you will yourself to “be cool”, “chill out” and “have fun”, your mind will not oblige. This makes you feel like the bad guy. After all, your friends invited you out expecting you to join in their fun. No one likes a party pooper. But you can’t help but sulk. Then your sulking turns to shame. Before you know it, you’re comparing yourself to the jovial extroverts at your table. The little troll in your mind points out how much better they are than you in every way. They are friendlier, prettier, more articulate, more likeable. Then the troll turns his bony finger at you and asks, “Why would anyone like you? You’re so boring and uncool. Everyone can tell you don’t belong here. What’s wrong with you?” The troll is most vicious when you are tired, or outside your comfort zone. In this particular scenario, you have both circumstances working against you. The...
Introvert – I’m somewhere, but not here

Introvert – I’m somewhere, but not here

“She’s never where she is … she’s only inside her head.” Janet Fitch We introverts love to wander. Our favorite destination for our quiet explorations is our imagination. No matter where we are, we feel called away by our own thoughts. The words of Anaïs Nin come to mind: “I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.” We grow restless in the here and now, so we let our imagination kidnap us for a while. We dim the front porch lights and go on a fantasy adventure. On the outside we look “zoned out”. Inside, we are bursting with bright ideas and dreams, like an internal festival of lights. It feels good to wander the deep forests of our imagination. Sometimes, it’s a necessary coping mechanism. Going inside our head helps us avoid overstimulation. We might be in a crowded place, full of offensive sounds and odours. We zone out to escape the chaos. Another reason we go mind wandering is because we are bored. Maybe, we’re in the middle of a conversation that is about as exciting as watching snails race. So, we check out. It’s easy for introverts to live our whole life this way, half in the world, half out. In her monstrously famous book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert recalls the way a friend once described her introverted father. “Your father only has one foot on this earth. And really, really long legs …” I chuckled as I read this, because it reminded me of my own introverted father. Then I (reluctantly) realized that I truly am...

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