Are We Compatible? MBTI Relationship Matches For Introverts

Are We Compatible? MBTI Relationship Matches For Introverts

It’s that time of year when most of us are acutely aware of our relationship status. Whether you’re coupled up or single, knowing your MBTI relationship matches comes in handy. Before I introduce you to your matches, which I’ve compiled in a colorful new infographic, I want to let you in on a little secret. Your MBTI relationship matches aren’t rules for your love life to live or die by. This is love we’re talking about after all! Matchmaking — even when the matchmaker is the MBTI — is more an art than an exact science. There’s no need to dump your fiancé because he didn’t make the cut on your MBTI relationship matches list. There are always exceptions, dearest. As comedian and actress Charlyne Yi puts it: “Compatibility is weird. Love is confusing. Love is one wild beast.” Okay, now that we’ve got that little caveat out of the way, let’s be honest. It’s really nice to have some guidelines surrounding compatibility. After all, no one knows what lottery ticket is going to be the winner. But it sure is nice to understand the odds before you invest your hard earned money in a ticket. Knowing your MBTI relationship matches gives you a better idea of your chances in the love lottery. Sure, you could beat the odds, and find love with an unlikely match. But you could also discover that the MBTI did not lie. Sometimes, the Myers-Briggs can help predict relationship compatibility with eerie success. Now you might be wondering … How does it work? How exactly does this Myers-Briggs thingy determine your matches? Allow me...
How to Have Fun Dating When You’re an Introvert

How to Have Fun Dating When You’re an Introvert

Dating is hard when you gain energy from alone time, rather than socializing. But believe it or not, dating as an introvert can be fun and easy. First of all, let’s banish the stereotype of introverts being hermits who hole up in their closet with a book. The fact is, as an introvert, you’re at your best when you have alone time to recharge. Relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can be straining enough on your energy reserves. Add onto that having to approach a perfect stranger and find something to talk about? Yikes. If you’re not a social butterfly, how can you convince a special someone that you’re not anti-social, while avoiding boring yourself stiff with small talk? Here are 4 tools you can use to make dating as an introvert feel natural and fun. 1. Prepare a list of topics As an introvert, you hate small talk because it’s inconsequential, so you avoid it at all costs. Prepare a list of topics before you meet up with your date, so when imagination runs dry, you can throw in a new subject to keep things going. Flirt.com has a list of the best things to talk about on a first date to get you started. Whether your date is extroverted or introverted, they’ll find you more interesting if you skip over the mundane. 2. Think of it as a friendship first Introverts are chronic over-thinkers. Rather than trying to decide whether your date will think you’re fat and cheat on you when you’re fifty-six, scale it back a bit and take the pressure off. Instead of putting them...
How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t understand us introverts. For many extroverts, the introverted personality makes about as much sense as Snapchat does to my grandma. Even fellow introverts might be confused about what it means to be introverted. With all the ignorance out there about introversion, the thought of explaining our personality is daunting, to say the least. Still, we introverts want and need to be understood on a deeper level, especially by those we care about. Sure, showing the people we love an article like this one will do the trick sometimes. But I have to be honest, there comes a time when we all have to speak up about our introverted personality in real life, with real words (no emojis). And it isn’t always easy. It’s tough explaining our introverted personality to people who’ve been conditioned to think of introversion as an inferior personality type, or even a dysfunction. Case in point: This story will piss you off A while ago I did a radio interview for The Candy Palmater Show. During our discussion, Candy shared an experience that had introverts (including myself) across the nation shaking their heads in disgust. She recalled a workshop she attended in which the presenter talked about different personality types. The presenter wrote the words “introvert” and “extrovert” on the board, and then did the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the absolutely unforgivable … He drew a big huge X over “introvert” and circled “extrovert”. His message was loud and clear: introversion is the inferior personality type. All who want to succeed should strive for extroversion. As infuriating as this...
Introvert: When your mind turns against you

Introvert: When your mind turns against you

Let’s talk about a situation that makes a lot of introverts hate themselves. This particular scenario used to happen to me a lot when I was around extroverts. It can happen anywhere, but let’s just say you’re are at a bar: You go in feeling pretty good about yourself. You know bars aren’t really your scene, but you’re with your friends, and you have some liquid courage on hand. Then you start to feel tired. As your energy plummets, everything around you picks up speed. More people show up. The music gets louder. All of a sudden, new people are sitting at your table with your friends. This is when it begins. No matter how much you will yourself to “be cool”, “chill out” and “have fun”, your mind will not oblige. This makes you feel like the bad guy. After all, your friends invited you out expecting you to join in their fun. No one likes a party pooper. But you can’t help but sulk. Then your sulking turns to shame. Before you know it, you’re comparing yourself to the jovial extroverts at your table. The little troll in your mind points out how much better they are than you in every way. They are friendlier, prettier, more articulate, more likeable. Then the troll turns his bony finger at you and asks, “Why would anyone like you? You’re so boring and uncool. Everyone can tell you don’t belong here. What’s wrong with you?” The troll is most vicious when you are tired, or outside your comfort zone. In this particular scenario, you have both circumstances working against you. The...
Introvert – When your family makes you mental

Introvert – When your family makes you mental

Have you ever had an extroverted family member who really didn’t get your introversion? This might have made family events uncomfortable, the holidays pure torture. Maybe you’ve thought that life would be less complicated if you were born into a family of introverts. Quiet author Susan Cain’s upbringing in an introverted household certainly sounds idyllic. In her famous Ted Talk, she describes what it was like to grow up in a family of introverts: “[I]n my family, reading was the primary group activity. And this might sound antisocial to you, but for us it was really just a different way of being social. You have the animal warmth of your family sitting right next to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventureland inside your own mind.” Isn’t that a lovely image? Many introverts can only dream of such a cozy introvert-friendly family environment. In real life, we might come from a clan of extroverts, who think it’s rude to read in the company of others. Or we grew up in a blended household of introverts and extroverts. Perhaps, talking was a hobby for mom, while avoiding conversation was a sport for dad. Or maybe grandpa was a jovial trickster, always ‘stealing’ your nose, and pulling coins out of your ear. Meanwhile, grandma sat on the sidelines, quietly crafting those creepy little fabric dolls you had to pretend to like. On the verge of self-destruction My family is artsy on one side, and Asian on the other, so introversion was the norm in our household. It wasn’t until I spent a Christmas with my Mexican...
The Ultimate Introvert’s Dilemma In Relationships

The Ultimate Introvert’s Dilemma In Relationships

The two most common fears people have in relationships are engulfment and abandonment. Usually, it is one or the other. We fear being swallowed up by another, dissolving into the relationship. Or we fear the opposite. We are terrified of being left behind. The introvert’s dilemma in relationships is that we often feel both fears deeply. We are on constant guard against the threat of being overwhelmed by others. And yet, we are afraid that our true personality will scare people away. Our worst fear is that we are too easy to leave. Which means we are too hard to love. It is as if we are afraid of the sun, and afraid of the sun setting. I wrote a poem about this the other day: Fear of the sun And fear of the sun setting Engulfment Abandonment The sun’s rays reach for me But the once welcome warmth Now burns The moon in all its glowing mystery Can’t be trusted It calls to the stars in the dark Circles the world Like a predator its prey It shows you a sliver Then disappears for days You’re Smothering Me For sensitive introverts who are prone to energy drain, relationships can feel like swimming in a tsunami. The tidal wave of emotions, the silent fears, the rush of hormones, the sheer weight of someone else’s expectations – it can all be too much. Whenever I think of one of my extroverted exes, a particular image comes to mind. I imagine that I am a little blue bird in the palm of his hands. He is trying to show me affection, but...