Hi, I'm Michaela. And I'm An Introvert.

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A WHOSA-WHATSA-VERT?

What is an introvert?

Introverts gain energy by being alone. Stimulating environments and social situations are draining for introverts. We can only handle so much before we MUST restore ourselves in solitude.

This is where many people are confused about introversion. It’s not about wanting to avoid people because of shyness, or sadness. Introverts NEED to spend time alone to feel at our best. Plain and simple.

In contrast, extroverts are energized by socializing. They get a buzz from the very activities that overwhelm introverts. When extroverts spend too much time alone, they feel bored and depleted.

Neither personality type is superior, we simply have different needs.

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You are just amazing Michaela and your writing has turned my life around. Thank you.

Maria B, Ireland

Every word I’m reading and sitting there like, “Wow, she really gets how I feel!”

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LATEST FROM THE BLOG

INFJ Personality: I Plan Everything

Hi INFJ friend, I’m writing to you from a very special place today. It’s a location well known to the INFJ personality, one where we often seek refuge: our mind. However, it can be pretty chaotic in there. Trust me, I know. Think of the INFJ mind as an internet browser with 50 tabs opened and dozens of applications running at the same time. But where there’s chaos, there is the opportunity for order and planning. And planning is where INFJs excel. I Plan Everything It’s almost unthinkable for an INFJ personality to leave something to chance. Sure, we know how to improvise, but we’re in our own element when we carefully plan our course of action. The best example of this is our future and where we want to be. We are idealists, so what lies ahead is our primary focus, especially planning for it. I have yet to meet an INFJ who wants to live day by day. Planning is a part of who we are. Let me give you my personal example not many people know about. There’s this journal I’ve had for two years now. In it, I write my goals. But these are not just some random scribbles. In this journal, I plan my next steps in life, months and years in advance. Because of our visionary trait, it’s not that hard for an INFJ personality to “predict” our own future. It’s partly because when we decide to do something, it will be done, period. It’s not a question of “if”, it’s just a matter of time. And for INFJs, there’s no better time... read more

Feeling Down? 10 Ways Introverts Can Be Happier

Have you been feeling down lately? You’re not alone. A lot of us introverts have a tendency toward melancholy. It’s not that we can’t be as happy as extroverts. But sometimes our busy, overthinking brain makes it difficult. Because guess what. We introverts are thinkers. Often, our thoughts quickly turn to worries, and our ideas turn to doubt. That’s not the only reason why you might be feeling down. The sneaky reason you’re feeling down There is another sneaky factor that makes introverts feel down, even when everything seems peachy around us. It’s what I like to call the overstimulation cycle. Here’s what it looks like: You go out, have ‘fun’, and stay busy because that’s what others tell you to do to have a productive and happy life. But when you do catch a moment of solitude after all your outing and abouting, you feel exhausted. And it doesn’t end there. You feel strangely empty, which makes no sense because you just did a bunch of social activities that were supposed to make you feel fulfilled. You think you’re feeling down because you aren’t doing, seeing, and socializing enough. So, you force yourself back out the door and into the very situations that are causing the void. If you can relate to the above scenario, you are like so many introverts who get caught up in an overstimulation cycle that leaves us feeling down, and even depressed. I should know. Why I felt empty I used to constantly force myself into highly extroverted environments because I thought it would cure my nagging sense of loneliness. In high school and... read more

Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

If there’s one thing INFJs don’t like, it’s conflict. Our personality is peaceful by nature, and everything that even resembles conflict we avoid by default. INFJs are diplomats with a kind and understanding heart. We believe that every situation can be resolved without conflict. However, in order to handle and face an INFJ conflict, we must first recognize where it comes from. The inner INFJ conflict Conflict only gives birth to unnecessary harsh language and actions. It fuels negative energy among people. Just imagine the effects it can have on extroverts. Now multiply that by a hundred when it comes to INFJs. You might think that because I’m a certified INFJ coach and a writer, I’m in complete control over every INFJ conflict situation I face. However, the truth is… I easily get scared when facing conflict. I often thought that walking away was always the best solution. That’s exactly what I did. But I only made the situation worse. For years I blamed myself for being bullied in high school, never allowing myself to acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I thought I was the source of conflict because I was quiet and always buried deeply in my books. Humiliation became my everyday routine during the four years of high school, because I was afraid of starting a situation that could potentially turn into a conflict. It wasn’t until I graduated that I realized how wrong I was for thinking it was my fault. I discovered that conflict doesn’t come from the outside. It comes firstly from within. In one of my favorite INFJ conflict examples, I’ll demonstrate how... read more

An Introvert Goes To The Doctor

INTROVERT: I don’t feel so good. DOCTOR: What are your symptoms? INTROVERT: Well, I don’t like talking very much. But writing is okay. And people make me feel tired, like I want to take a nap. Also, I like to be alone. (Pause.) I mean, I really like it. DOCTOR: Okay, but are you ill? INTROVERT: Most of the time, no, but then sometimes I get this funny feeling in my stomach, like I’m trying to do yoga after eating a Big Mac. DOCTOR: Are you eating a Big Mac when this happens? INTROVERT: No. DOCTOR: What are you doing when you get the stomach problems? INTROVERT: Nothing. Just thinking (Pause.) and not talking. Maybe looking at my phone. DOCTOR: Hmmm. Did you bring in that urine sample the nurse asked for? INTROVERT: Yes, one sec. (Reaches into his bag and pulls out a urine sample in a small plastic container.) Here. DOCTOR: (He dips a test strip into the urine sample, and places it on a paper towel.) Let’s take your blood pressure. (Attaches a blood pressure cuff and takes a reading.) 119/80. Very good. Now, open up. INTROVERT: That’s another problem. I’m not very good at opening up. I guess I just don’t like talking about myself. DOCTOR: No, I mean open your mouth and say “ah”. INTROVERT: Oh. (Opens mouth.) Aaaaah. DOCTOR: (He presses down INTROVERT’s tongue with a tongue depressor, peers inside his mouth.) Hmmm. Okay. (Goes to glance at the urine test strip, and then sits). I think I see the issue. INTROVERT: You do? DOCTOR: You’re an introvert. INTROVERT: You can tell that from my... read more

Why Introverts Need Animal Friends ♥

A lot of introverts are hardcore animal lovers. Sometimes, we even love our animal friends more than people. Who can blame us? Animals offer a kind of companionship that feeds an introvert’s gentle soul like nothing else. While people drain our energy by expecting constant conversation, animals replenish us by offering comfort beyond words. As serious and stoic as we may seem on the outside, we introverts need love and affection, too. Often, our animal friends are just what the doctor ordered. After a long day filled with too much peopling, a cuddle from a furry cutie has us good as new again. My strange animal best friend This is a little embarrassing to admit, but growing up, my best friend was my pet rat. Sure, I had human friends, too, but Mickey the rat was an endless source of joy and companionship for me. After all, we had so much in common. We both loved to explore nature, munch on yummy food, and take naps. oh yeah, and we were both very quiet as well. Mickey the rat and I didn’t have very many deep conversations, and that’s what made our bond all the more strong. Introverts need companions who allow us to feel safe in our silence. Animals do this naturally. – Tweet this Overthinking and anxious? Animal friends cure all Many of us innies have a tendency to overthink. We create thought knots that we spend the whole day trying to untangle. This gets very tiring, and can cause a lot of anxiety. The pure loving presence of an animal friend gets us out of our head... read more

Empath Compassion Fatigue: 7 Signs You Have It + How To Heal

If you’re an empath, you are all too familiar with overwhelm and burnout. But did you know that you are also particularly susceptible to something called “empath compassion fatigue”? It turns out that for empaths, who literally feel the emotions and energy of others, compassion is not a limitless resource. Empath compassion fatigue is the point when you reach your limit. Suddenly, you realize that your emotional stores are depleted and your compassion has been replaced by apathy, or even anger. Compassion fatigue, which is also known as “secondary traumatization”, is caused by the emotional residue from working with people or animals who have suffered from trauma. This can occur after exposure to one trauma case, or it can be cumulative. You see, all the pain and suffering you encounter can build up over time. Layer after layer settles on your gentle empath heart and soul. Eventually, it weighs you down, and quells your motivation. Who suffers from empath compassion fatigue? While all empaths are susceptible to compassion fatigue, there are some who are more at risk than others. Compassion fatigue is considered to be an occupational hazard for anyone working in a caregiving role. Careers that commonly lead to empath compassion fatigue include: doctor counsellor psychologist nurse EMT support worker veterinarian animal shelter worker As you can see, careers that place empaths in close contact with those who have suffered trauma inevitably lead to empath compassion fatigue. But what about all the unofficial caregivers out there? Oftentimes, empaths attract or are attracted to those in need. You are drawn in by the stories of shame and suffering. You... read more

How To Know If An Introvert Likes You

People often ask me how to know if an introvert likes you. Most of the time the question comes from an extroverted woman, who likes an introverted man, but feels totally confused by his signals. She wonders if his aloofness is because of his introversion, or because he’s just not that into her. I can see why people get confused. We introverts have a unique way of showing that we like someone. Often, our behaviour is the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who is swooning over you. As an introvert myself, I’m all too familiar with how it feels to like someone and not know how to show it in a “normal” way. Since we introverts need more time to think before we speak, I used to be chronically tongue-tied around my crushes. And that’s only if I actually had the courage to be near them. Most of the time, I would secretly pine after my crush from afar, but run away like a frightened cat the moment he came near me. The only time I really got close to the guys I liked was in my fantasies. As an introvert, I spend a lot of time inside my head. My fantasy men were great companions for my daydreams. Except for one problem. I was still a weirdo around these guys in real life. I would still clam up and go completely silent when they were around. I would still give off an awkward what-do-I-do-with-my-hands vibe in their presence. And, worst of all, I would still feel completely clueless about how flirt with them without giving off... read more

The Top 10 INFJ Careers

Dear INFJ friend, Choosing the top INFJ careers that will satisfy all our needs is not easy. It’s a hard road filled with obstacles. We are unique, so not all jobs are suitable for our rare personality. INFJs excel in many areas. There’s a reason why we are called advocates, diplomats, counselors, and healers. INFJs are the perfect negotiators. Despite all our amazing gifts, it’s not easy to find the best INFJ careers. That’s why I’ve put together the a list of the top 10 INFJ careers for you. I made an infographic, too, which I’ll share a bit later in this article, but first I want to talk about why it’s so tough for INFJs to find the right career. The INFJ careers conundrum While searching for our true calling, INFJs face a lot of obstacles. To help you better prepare, here are the three primary issues every INFJ I had the chance to speak with has faced when choosing a career: 1. You need to make a difference The first issue is that making a difference seems impossible. The nature of the job itself isn’t that important as long as it enables us to make a difference. I’m not talking about finishing a day’s work type of difference, but rather something else. The difference I speak about is an all or nothing affair. Waking up every morning and knowing that what we do means something and that it helps someone is our motivation. It’s what gives us energy and focus. An INFJ has to feel fulfilled or he or she risks becoming indifferent. It’s a really bad sign... read more

Introverts Are Like Cats

Have you ever noticed how much introverts are like cats? I’ve talked about the many similarities between introverts and cats before, but I just couldn’t resist making a new comparison video. It’s already making the rounds on Facebook, and people are purring with delight over the cuteness overload! Enjoy! 🙂 Introverts are like cats Some people think we’re lazy But we just move at a slower pace We love our close friends … But we’re lone wanderers at heart We seem aloof if we don’t know you Only special people see our cuddly side Xo, P.S. For more mini videos like this one, check out my Instagram: @michaelachung1... read more

INTROVERT OVERWHELM: 3 Key Steps To Stop The Cycle

When you’re an introvert like me, you spend a lot of time feeling overwhelmed. Who can blame you? Introvert overwhelm is a natural side effect of being an introvert in an extrovert’s world. As an introvert, you are more easily overstimulated by things like noise, crowds, and bright flashing lights. You wish you could press pause on life, so that you can take it all in and process the chaos. Because here’s the thing about introverts. We process more information at a given time than extroverts. Our mind is like a high-end computer that can hold a whole lot of data. We take in so much information that we need more time to make sense of it all. Unfortunately, time is in short supply in our fast-paced world. And introverts are suffering for it. Signs that you’re struggling with introvert overwhelm: You feel chronically exhausted, even when you get enough sleep You’re constantly irritable and on edge for no apparent reason You often zone out and shut down at work or social settings You feel mentally fragmented, as if your thoughts have gone through the shredder I’ve been there. In fact, I used to live in a constant state of introvert overwhelm. Everyday, I felt like I was swimming against giant waves of overstimulation. The people, the ever-growing to-do lists, the constant noise pollution, the crowds — it was all too much. Nowadays, I’m much better at keeping introvert overwhelm at bay. I’ve learned the secrets to prevent it, as well as how to curb it the moment it starts to set in. In case you’re struggling with introvert overwhelm,... read more
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Michaela Chung is an introvert author, coach and entrepreneur. Check out her book, The Irresistible Introvert .

Copyright: © Michaela Chung 2017