Hi, I'm Michaela. And I'm An Introvert.

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A WHOSA-WHATSA-VERT?

What is an introvert?

Introverts gain energy by being alone. Stimulating environments and social situations are draining for introverts. We can only handle so much before we MUST restore ourselves in solitude.

This is where many people are confused about introversion. It’s not about wanting to avoid people because of shyness, or sadness. Introverts NEED to spend time alone to feel at our best. Plain and simple.

In contrast, extroverts are energized by socializing. They get a buzz from the very activities that overwhelm introverts. When extroverts spend too much time alone, they feel bored and depleted.

Neither personality type is superior, we simply have different needs.

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You are just amazing Michaela and your writing has turned my life around. Thank you.

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Every word I’m reading and sitting there like, “Wow, she really gets how I feel!”

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LATEST FROM THE BLOG

Feeling Lonely? Watch this.

Do you ever feel so lonely it hurts? Feeling lonely as an introvert is especially frustrating because we want and need our alone time. We like spending time solo, but we have our limits. There comes a point when we feel isolated. We want to connect, but there’s something stopping us. We’ve settled so deeply into the well-worn groove of our own isolation that we feel stuck there. In other words, we get in a loneliness rut, and we don’t know how to reconnect. The especially frustrating part is that being around people can be incredibly draining for introverts. This leaves us unmotivated to reach out and make plans. The first step to stop feeling lonely I’ve been there, and I’ve discovered that there is one key step to stop feeling lonely. It’s so obvious when you think of it, but it’s something we innies tend to ignore. After all, we are strong, independent introverts. We don’t want to admit, even to ourselves, that we are feeling lonely and need more love and connection in our life. In today’s brand new vlog, I explain why introverts can feel lonelier when we are around people than when we are by ourselves. I also share how I overcame the loneliness cycle, and the first step for you to to the same — even if you’re a hardcore introvert like me. This is the most personal vlog I’ve ever made. In it I get a little vulnerable, and reveal things I haven’t shared even with my close friends. Watch it and find out the REAL reason I recently moved back to my... read more

The Highly Sensitive Person | 7 Habits To Cope + Thrive

Are you a highly sensitive person? If so, I’ve got your back because today I’m sharing 7 daily habits to cope and thrive as a highly sensitive person (HSP). Before I do, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about what exactly an HSP is. When you’re highly sensitive, your brain is more easily overstimulated. This means that you tend to get overwhelmed by loud noises, crowds, busy environments, and strong fragrances. You are also empathic, so you feel the emotions and energy of others. This, too, can overload your senses and lead to overwhelm. It can be really challenging being a highly sensitive person in the extrovert-centric, busybody world we live in. Thankfully, over the years, I’ve learned habits to cope and play on my strengths as a highly sensitive person, and I’m going to share them with you right now. Watch the video below, or continue reading to discover my 7 daily habits to cope + thrive as a highly sensitive person: 1. Start your day in solitude. Starting your day in peaceful silence is the best way to fortify yourself against overwhelm. This daily habit also quiets your mind, so that you experience less anxiety and worry throughout the day. Not only that. The more you can reduce stimulation first thing in the morning, the more mentally sharp and focused you’ll feel for the rest of the day. Try beginning your day by meditating, journalling, or simply sitting in silence as you sip a cup of herbal tea. 2. Say no to sh*t you hate. Tapping into the power of ’no’ is one of the... read more

Am I shy or introverted?

Have you ever been labelled as a shy person? If you’re an introvert like me, chances are that you have, more times than you can count. You see, people tend to think that introversion and shyness are the same thing. They most certainly are not, but I can see why people would be confused. Introversion and shyness can look a lot alike on the outside. They both prevent people from being as outgoing and social as the average extrovert Joe. The difference is that a shy person stays at home because he’s a afraid of socializing. Meanwhile, the introvert avoids socializing because it drains his energy. Do you see the difference? Let me put it this way: shyness has to do with fear of socializing, whereas introversion has more to do with where you get your energy. Introverts gain energy from being alone, and lose energy when socializing. So, it’s no wonder that we’d want to sneak away and recharge by ourselves. The confusing thing is that, although introversion and shyness are not the same thing, they do tend to team up frequently. Many introverts are also shy. If you are both shy and introverted, you have a double dose of reasons not to go to the party. You want to protect yourself from embarrassment and rejection, while also preserving your precious energy. The good news is that you can overcome shyness by building confidence from the inside out. If you need help with this, I have a series of free introvert confidence lessons to help you raise your self-esteem as an introvert. Introversion, on the other hand, is... read more

6 Experiences Only INFJs Will Understand

There are some things that only INFJs understand. We are rare, and others just don’t get our unique experiences. I know, I get it, I’m an INFJ, too, and sometimes I feel like no one understands what I’m going through. That’s why, in a rush of emotions, I’ve gathered several experiences that only INFJs can understand. 6 experiences only INFJs will understand: 1. We always care. INFJs always care, we can’t help it. An INFJ will even risk his or her own well-being in the process of caring. But all too often, people take advantage of this and we end up getting hurt. A classic example is when we believe we are annoying someone we cherish by caring too much, so we feel guilty (and overthink it), which brings me to my next point … 2. Inner Guilt. I’ve been overcome with guilt more times than I can count. Only INFJs will understand this inner feeling because it has a unique meaning for us. When you send a message to your friend, you might feel guilty and think you are bothering him or her. Or when you believe you said something wrong, you spend days repeating the scenario over and over again in your mind. 3. Self-Sabotage. Even when everything is going well, our INFJ mind actively seeks for ways to sabotage things. It’s like our brain looks for a self-destruct button when experiencing happiness. It’s the same old story when we accomplish something. INFJs have a bad habit of putting down our own success because it’s strange to us that things are actually going well. 4. Loneliness in... read more

HOW TO CURE A SOCIAL HANGOVER | ♥ Montreal Vacation Vlog

Hi Innie Friend, I’m on ‘workaction’ in Montreal right now, and I’m dealing with a frustrating side effect of socializing that I know most introverts will relate to; it’s what I call a “social hangover”. You’ve probably had plenty of them in your life, and I think you’ll agree that they are the worst! Funnily enough, an introvert social hangover is a lot like a real hangover. You feel groggy, irritable, exhausted, and overwhelmed. You don’t want to go out, talk, or even think. All you want to do is curl up by yourself and catch your breath. The reason we introverts are extra susceptible to social hangovers is that being around people is highly stimulating. When we spend a lot of time socializing, we become overstimulated, and we literally start to shut down to protect ourselves. Even though I’ve created countless resources for introverts, and I’ve written an entire book on how to be charismatic as an introvert, I still find social hangovers really tough. Because here’s the thing. As much as I’ve learned to honour my introvert needs, and take quiet time to recharge, sometimes I really can’t avoid overstimulation. When I’m on vacation in a big city, I know a social hangover is inevitable, so I’ve found ways to cope. Take my vacation in Montreal, for example. There is so much to do, see, and eat in Montreal, and I’m only here for one week. Even though I’m not doing nearly as much outing and abouting as most would on vacation, I still wake up a lot of mornings with a social hangover. But that’s okay,... read more

How To Stand Up For Yourself as an Introvert

Have you ever felt like people disrespect you because you’re introverted? They assume that because you are quiet you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. They think you’ll just sit there and take their unfair behaviour, as if it were sweet medicine … and maybe you do. I don’t blame you. I completely get why you would choose submissive niceness or avoidance over standing up for yourself. We introverts are naturally conflict-averse. We are the anti-drama queens and kings, who will do anything to maintain peaceful waters. But there’s a problem with this approach. Not knowing how to stand up for yourself is like taking slow-acting poison. Tolerating people who disrespect you corrodes your sense of self-esteem. Not only that … It also plants a little black seed of resentment. Each time a person puts you down or pushes you around, that seed sprouts thorny vines of anger. If you’re an introvert, these prickly resentments often stay quiet and hidden away, where the only person they can hurt is you. Or so you think … The truth is that when you don’t know how to stand up for yourself as an introvert, your anger might come out in passive aggressive ways. Author Martha Beck explains: The problem is that trying to change unfair behavior with submissive niceness is like trying to smother a fire with gunpowder. It isn’t the high road; it’s the grim, well-trod path that leads from aggressive to passive, through long, horrible stretches of passive-aggressive. The solution? Learn how to stand up for yourself Well, of course the answer is to stand up for... read more

Shy Introvert: How To Open Up Naturally

For introverts, opening up is easier said than done. We would like to open up, we really would. But there just seem to be too many annoying obstacles. For one, there are all the memories of the times that we tried to open up, but we were interrupted by someone louder and more gregarious.  Then there is our secret fear of rejection, which we expertly hide beneath a mask of aloofness.  Now wonder we struggle to know how to open up! On top of all this we also have our own unique communication challenges to deal with. We take more time to think before we speak, which can make opening up that much more challenging. We worry that we won’t be able to find the right words at the right time. We wonder if the other person is even interested. To protect ourselves from possible rejection, we evade opening up through various clever means. The sneaky way introverts avoid opening up One of our favorite ways to avoid sharing our secrets is by keeping the conversation focused squarely on the other person. We pepper our conversation partner with questions, partly because we’re genuinely interested, and partly because we want to deflect the spotlight. We might even endure boring small talk, which we despise, if it means avoiding opening up about ourselves. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve used all of the above tactics to sidestep sharing personal information about myself. But one of my all-time favorite ways to avoid opening up was to choose friends who would never give me the opportunity to do so. You know the type... read more

INFJ Personality: I Plan Everything

Hi INFJ friend, I’m writing to you from a very special place today. It’s a location well known to the INFJ personality, one where we often seek refuge: our mind. However, it can be pretty chaotic in there. Trust me, I know. Think of the INFJ mind as an internet browser with 50 tabs opened and dozens of applications running at the same time. But where there’s chaos, there is the opportunity for order and planning. And planning is where INFJs excel. I Plan Everything It’s almost unthinkable for an INFJ personality to leave something to chance. Sure, we know how to improvise, but we’re in our own element when we carefully plan our course of action. The best example of this is our future and where we want to be. We are idealists, so what lies ahead is our primary focus, especially planning for it. I have yet to meet an INFJ who wants to live day by day. Planning is a part of who we are. Let me give you my personal example not many people know about. There’s this journal I’ve had for two years now. In it, I write my goals. But these are not just some random scribbles. In this journal, I plan my next steps in life, months and years in advance. Because of our visionary trait, it’s not that hard for an INFJ personality to “predict” our own future. It’s partly because when we decide to do something, it will be done, period. It’s not a question of “if”, it’s just a matter of time. And for INFJs, there’s no better time... read more

Feeling Down? 10 Ways Introverts Can Be Happier

Have you been feeling down lately? You’re not alone. A lot of us introverts have a tendency toward melancholy. It’s not that we can’t be as happy as extroverts. But sometimes our busy, overthinking brain makes it difficult. Because guess what. We introverts are thinkers. Often, our thoughts quickly turn to worries, and our ideas turn to doubt. That’s not the only reason why you might be feeling down. The sneaky reason you’re feeling down There is another sneaky factor that makes introverts feel down, even when everything seems peachy around us. It’s what I like to call the overstimulation cycle. Here’s what it looks like: You go out, have ‘fun’, and stay busy because that’s what others tell you to do to have a productive and happy life. But when you do catch a moment of solitude after all your outing and abouting, you feel exhausted. And it doesn’t end there. You feel strangely empty, which makes no sense because you just did a bunch of social activities that were supposed to make you feel fulfilled. You think you’re feeling down because you aren’t doing, seeing, and socializing enough. So, you force yourself back out the door and into the very situations that are causing the void. If you can relate to the above scenario, you are like so many introverts who get caught up in an overstimulation cycle that leaves us feeling down, and even depressed. I should know. Why I felt empty I used to constantly force myself into highly extroverted environments because I thought it would cure my nagging sense of loneliness. In high school and... read more

Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

If there’s one thing INFJs don’t like, it’s conflict. Our personality is peaceful by nature, and everything that even resembles conflict we avoid by default. INFJs are diplomats with a kind and understanding heart. We believe that every situation can be resolved without conflict. However, in order to handle and face an INFJ conflict, we must first recognize where it comes from. The inner INFJ conflict Conflict only gives birth to unnecessary harsh language and actions. It fuels negative energy among people. Just imagine the effects it can have on extroverts. Now multiply that by a hundred when it comes to INFJs. You might think that because I’m a certified INFJ coach and a writer, I’m in complete control over every INFJ conflict situation I face. However, the truth is… I easily get scared when facing conflict. I often thought that walking away was always the best solution. That’s exactly what I did. But I only made the situation worse. For years I blamed myself for being bullied in high school, never allowing myself to acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I thought I was the source of conflict because I was quiet and always buried deeply in my books. Humiliation became my everyday routine during the four years of high school, because I was afraid of starting a situation that could potentially turn into a conflict. It wasn’t until I graduated that I realized how wrong I was for thinking it was my fault. I discovered that conflict doesn’t come from the outside. It comes firstly from within. In one of my favorite INFJ conflict examples, I’ll demonstrate how... read more
Just noticed, I’m reading every mail you sent! Thanks a lot, you are part of my “evolution”.
I have no words to express how it can help me!
Morgane, Belgium

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Michaela Chung is an introvert author, coach and entrepreneur. Check out her book, The Irresistible Introvert .

Copyright: © Michaela Chung 2017