Hi, I'm Michaela. And I'm An Introvert.

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I’ve written over 300 articles on introvert traits, introvert problems, introvert dating, and pretty much everything else introvert related.

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A WHOSA-WHATSA-VERT?

What is an introvert?

Introverts gain energy by being alone. Stimulating environments and social situations are draining for introverts. We can only handle so much before we MUST restore ourselves in solitude.

This is where many people are confused about introversion. It’s not about wanting to avoid people because of shyness, or sadness. Introverts NEED to spend time alone to feel at our best. Plain and simple.

In contrast, extroverts are energized by socializing. They get a buzz from the very activities that overwhelm introverts. When extroverts spend too much time alone, they feel bored and depleted.

Neither personality type is superior, we simply have different needs.

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You are just amazing Michaela and your writing has turned my life around. Thank you.

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Every word I’m reading and sitting there like, “Wow, she really gets how I feel!”

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LATEST FROM THE BLOG

WHY AM I STILL SINGLE? (Introvert Dating Advice)

Why am I still single? Is it because I’m weird? Is it because I’m an introvert? Is it because there’s something secretly, horribly wrong with me? In today’s vlog, I give honest answers about why I’m still just a ‘me’ instead of a ‘we’. If you’ve ever asked yourself “why am I still single?”, you know that I had my work cut out for me filming this vlog. In it I offer my honest take on why my past relationships didn’t work, while also sharing my best introvert dating advice. It’s another one of my up close and personal vlogs that y’all seem to like so much. I hope that you can relate in some way, or that, at the very least, you find my relationship metaphors, and strange dating philosophy entertaining — something interesting to chew on during your lunch break. By the way, I filmed this video while in Toronto recently. And guess what! I’m going back soon for a big dance event, so I decided to organize a Toronto Introvert Meetup & Workshop while I’m there! If you live in the GTA, I’d love to see you at my Toronto innie event. Anywho, I hope you enjoy the Why Am I Still Single video. Remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel, as it really supports my work, AND gives me warm fuzzies. 😉 Lots of love, share  tweet pin... read more

Making Friends as an Introvert 

If you’ve ever tried making friends as an introvert, you might have found it challenging. Making friends as an adult introvert can feel next to impossible. There is good reason for this. Gone are the days when you could plop yourself down next to a random kid in the sandbox and bond over your shared love of fish sticks. As a grownup introvert, you face several obstacles when it comes to making new friends. The challenges of making friends as an introvert Many social environments overwhelm you and leave you feeling drained, and unmotivated to get out there and mix and mingle. You find small talk boring, painful even, but don’t necessarily know how to smoothly bridge the gap between chit chat and deeper conversations. (“So, anyway, what are your thoughts on reincarnation?” isn’t the best opener.) You may feel frustrated by fast-paced conversations that don’t give you enough time to think about what you want to say. You find group conversations intimidating. You never quite know when to interject, or how to express yourself without feeling like you’re on stage. You might find maintaining too many friendships overwhelming; you worry that people won’t put up with your tendency to go off the radar for a while. And then there are the generic challenges that all grownup humanoids face when making friends, even extroverts. Adults tend to be less open to forming new friendships as they get older. Everyone seems to be settled into their cozy couples and friend groups — everyone, that is, except for lonesome little old you. If you’ve ever moved jobs, cities, or even churches,... read more

Misunderstood & Underestimated? How To Shine as an Introvert

Every introvert knows how it feels to be misunderstood and underestimated. We are used to people not understanding our little “introvertisms”, as I like to call them. They don’t get our need for alone time, our disdain for conflict, our hatred of the phone. “It’s just a two-minute phone call,” they say, not realizing that the phone poses as much a threat to an introvert as a spider does to an arachnophobe. An unexpected phone call is a voice leaping out from the shadows just when we think we’re safe from socializing. And don’t even get me started on all the misunderstandings caused by our quietness. Is she mute? Is she angry? Does she hate me? Is she depressed? Is she slow? Does she speak English? As a child, I once walked in late to my fifth grade classroom on a day when my regular teacher was sick. The substitute teacher, noticing my tendency to choose miming over words, asked, “Were you in ESL?” No, I was not in English as a Second Language class. English was my first language, but silence was my homeland. Can’t a girl be quiet without all the assumptions? When they underestimate you because you’re quiet … There were also the countless times when classmates, teachers, and later, colleagues and bosses, underestimated my intelligence because I didn’t say much. What got to me the most was when they mistook my quietness for weakness. I may be sensitive, but I am also powerful, bold, and stubborn as hell. I am a galaxy of contradictions. Most introverts are. The truth is that sometimes it doesn’t matter... read more

The INFJ Dark Side

I’m an eternal optimist and a fierce defender of everything the INFJ personality represents. As a professional coach focused on INFJs, it’s my job and calling to see that hidden potential you have, and to show you how to let it out without guilt. But the term “INFJ dark side” caught my attention recently, since it was mentioned that some influential people who are INFJs had a darker side. So, I decided to dig deeper and ask myself… Do INFJs have a dark side? The answer is, yes, absolutely. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous while writing this, because as with everything, there’s no middle ground with INFJs, even when we think about the INFJ dark side. As someone who believes in the INFJ personality so much, I had to think carefully about how to explain the dark we have within. The response was, we are only human, after all. Everyone has something dark that they don’t want to come out, and we INFJs are no different. The only concern is, what is ours? Well I can tell you, (warning, vulnerable moment ahead) my dark side is that I am like a Celtic warrior if somebody hurts my friend, and people I cherish the most. In these situations, everything that makes me an INFJ seems to evaporate. My calm, calculated, analytic nature is gone, and my sole purpose is to protect the ones I love. Am I afraid of my INFJ dark side? Of course I am, but it doesn’t control me. The peacemaker instinct that the majority of INFJs have is just too strong... read more

Awkward?! The Truth About My Introvert Retreat Experience

  Whenever I tell people I’m going on an introvert retreat, I usually get a response like this: “Umm … so what are you gonna do? Stare at each other in silence?” To which I scoff, “introverts can be sociable and adventurous! We just like to do things on our own terms.” As much as I know this to be true, I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I went on my first introvert retreat in Tulum, Mexico last year. Would it be awkward? I wondered if it would feel awkward. Would the 12 participants get along?  Would I get overwhelmed and want to run and hide like I usually do during group travel experiences? I have to be honest, the retreat wasn’t all sun, sand, and margaritas. A lot of personal growth and healing took place during the 6-day getaway. Take the first day for example. The group warmed up to one another surprisingly quickly during the meet and greet, and subsequent dinner; yet, midway through the meal I felt a familiar feeling creeping in. Overwhelm began to set in, and I knew I had to escape. I slipped away to my room without any explanation, something I’ve been known to do when my social batteries are depleted. Feeling overwhelmed was nothing new for me, but the reaction from the group was. The next day, no one seemed to care that I had snuck away. Everyone just got it. It was the same when I went quiet, or wandered away from the group at various times. The other participants let me be my introverted self without judgment,... read more

Depressed or introverted? What your therapist won’t tell you

It hurts my heart to think about it, but there are many depressed introverts out there. You could chalk this up to a lot of things: negative feedback from a young age from people who don’t understand our quiet ways a tendency toward isolation, which leads to a lack of connection, social support, and intimacy a tendency toward overthinking, rumination, and worry social and environmental overstimulation, leading to a sense of overwhelm and emptiness The bottom line is that our world is not set up for quiet, gentle souls to shine. Our culture’s busybody, bigger-is-better, and louder-is-prouder mentality can quickly crush the spirit of sensitive introverts. But an introvert’s sadness, emptiness, confusion, and overwhelm is not the same thing as clinical depression. Allow me to explain … But first, a wee disclaimer. I’m not a therapist, so what you are reading now is my opinion as an introvert author, coach, and entrepreneur who has received feedback from tens of thousands of introverted readers and hundreds of students since starting this website in 2013. Introvert or INFJ Misdiagnosed as depressed or bipolar What has stood out to me over the years is the amount of introverts (and INFJs, in particular), who confide that they were misdiagnosed as depressed or bipolar by therapists, who mistook their introversion and/or sensitivity as a sign of mental illness. Again, my heart is hurting to think of this. Imagine spending years — decades even — of your life believing that there is something deeply, inherently wrong with you, something that is woven into your mental processes and imprinted on every fibre of your being. And... read more

How to Make an Introvert Fall in Love

How do you make an introvert fall in love? If you’re reading this article, you might already know that it’s not so straightforward. Introverts are an anomaly to many because we don’t wear our emotions on our sleeve. We keep our greatest treasures hidden, secretly hoping that the right person will have the map to unlock the gates to our heart. I have the map, dearest. Today I’m sharing 8 ways to make an introvert fall in love. Follow these tips to a T and the gentle heart of an introvert will be yours to cherish. Handle it with care, because an introvert’s love and loyalty is not easy to win. But trust me, it is worth the effort! 8 Ways To Make an Introvert Fall in Love 1. Listen Just because we’re quiet, doesn’t mean introverts have nothing to say. We may be word economists, but we put a lot of thought into what we do share. That’s why we really appreciate it when our partner listens on a deep level. Feeling rushed in conversation can be really stressful for introverts, who need more time to think before we speak. Avoid interrupting us, and leave some empty spaces in the conversation so that we can process our thoughts. Try waiting a couple of seconds after we finish our sentence before chiming in. If you or someone else interrupts your innie mid-sentence, be sure to invite him to finish his thought once the distraction has passed. Trust me when I say that he has been secretly hoping for such an invitation, and will be very impressed and grateful for... read more

Feeling Lonely? Watch this.

Do you ever feel so lonely it hurts? Feeling lonely as an introvert is especially frustrating because we want and need our alone time. We like spending time solo, but we have our limits. There comes a point when we feel isolated. We want to connect, but there’s something stopping us. We’ve settled so deeply into the well-worn groove of our own isolation that we feel stuck there. In other words, we get in a loneliness rut, and we don’t know how to reconnect. The especially frustrating part is that being around people can be incredibly draining for introverts. This leaves us unmotivated to reach out and make plans. The first step to stop feeling lonely I’ve been there, and I’ve discovered that there is one key step to stop feeling lonely. It’s so obvious when you think of it, but it’s something we innies tend to ignore. After all, we are strong, independent introverts. We don’t want to admit, even to ourselves, that we are feeling lonely and need more love and connection in our life. In today’s brand new vlog, I explain why introverts can feel lonelier when we are around people than when we are by ourselves. I also share how I overcame the loneliness cycle, and the first step for you to to the same — even if you’re a hardcore introvert like me. This is the most personal vlog I’ve ever made. In it I get a little vulnerable, and reveal things I haven’t shared even with my close friends. Watch it and find out the REAL reason I recently moved back to my... read more

The Highly Sensitive Person | 7 Habits To Cope + Thrive

Are you a highly sensitive person? If so, I’ve got your back because today I’m sharing 7 daily habits to cope and thrive as a highly sensitive person (HSP). Before I do, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about what exactly an HSP is. When you’re highly sensitive, your brain is more easily overstimulated. This means that you tend to get overwhelmed by loud noises, crowds, busy environments, and strong fragrances. You are also empathic, so you feel the emotions and energy of others. This, too, can overload your senses and lead to overwhelm. It can be really challenging being a highly sensitive person in the extrovert-centric, busybody world we live in. Thankfully, over the years, I’ve learned habits to cope and play on my strengths as a highly sensitive person, and I’m going to share them with you right now. Watch the video below, or continue reading to discover my 7 daily habits to cope + thrive as a highly sensitive person: 1. Start your day in solitude. Starting your day in peaceful silence is the best way to fortify yourself against overwhelm. This daily habit also quiets your mind, so that you experience less anxiety and worry throughout the day. Not only that. The more you can reduce stimulation first thing in the morning, the more mentally sharp and focused you’ll feel for the rest of the day. Try beginning your day by meditating, journalling, or simply sitting in silence as you sip a cup of herbal tea. 2. Say no to sh*t you hate. Tapping into the power of ’no’ is one of the... read more

Am I shy or introverted?

Have you ever been labelled as a shy person? If you’re an introvert like me, chances are that you have, more times than you can count. You see, people tend to think that introversion and shyness are the same thing. They most certainly are not, but I can see why people would be confused. Introversion and shyness can look a lot alike on the outside. They both prevent people from being as outgoing and social as the average extrovert Joe. The difference is that a shy person stays at home because he’s a afraid of socializing. Meanwhile, the introvert avoids socializing because it drains his energy. Do you see the difference? Let me put it this way: shyness has to do with fear of socializing, whereas introversion has more to do with where you get your energy. Introverts gain energy from being alone, and lose energy when socializing. So, it’s no wonder that we’d want to sneak away and recharge by ourselves. The confusing thing is that, although introversion and shyness are not the same thing, they do tend to team up frequently. Many introverts are also shy. If you are both shy and introverted, you have a double dose of reasons not to go to the party. You want to protect yourself from embarrassment and rejection, while also preserving your precious energy. The good news is that you can overcome shyness by building confidence from the inside out. If you need help with this, I have a series of free introvert confidence lessons to help you raise your self-esteem as an introvert. Introversion, on the other hand, is... read more
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Michaela Chung is an introvert author, coach and entrepreneur. Check out her book, The Irresistible Introvert .

Copyright: © Michaela Chung 2017