by Michaela | Jul 17, 2017 | Blog, connection, Introvert confidence & communication |
Have you ever felt like people disrespect you because you’re introverted? They assume that because you are quiet you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. They think you’ll just sit there and take their unfair behaviour, as if it were sweet medicine … and maybe you do. I don’t blame you. I completely get why you would choose submissive niceness or avoidance over standing up for yourself. We introverts are naturally conflict-averse. We are the anti-drama queens and kings, who will do anything to maintain peaceful waters. But there’s a problem with this approach. Not knowing how to stand up for yourself is like taking slow-acting poison. Tolerating people who disrespect you corrodes your sense of self-esteem. Not only that … It also plants a little black seed of resentment. Each time a person puts you down or pushes you around, that seed sprouts thorny vines of anger. If you’re an introvert, these prickly resentments often stay quiet and hidden away, where the only person they can hurt is you. Or so you think … The truth is that when you don’t know how to stand up for yourself as an introvert, your anger might come out in passive aggressive ways. Author Martha Beck explains: The problem is that trying to change unfair behavior with submissive niceness is like trying to smother a fire with gunpowder. It isn’t the high road; it’s the grim, well-trod path that leads from aggressive to passive, through long, horrible stretches of passive-aggressive. The solution? Learn how to stand up for yourself Well, of course the answer is to stand up for...
by Michaela | Jun 27, 2017 | Blog, connection, Introvert confidence & communication |
For introverts, opening up is easier said than done. We would like to open up, we really would. But there just seem to be too many annoying obstacles. For one, there are all the memories of the times that we tried to open up, but we were interrupted by someone louder and more gregarious. Then there is our secret fear of rejection, which we expertly hide beneath a mask of aloofness. Now wonder we struggle to know how to open up! On top of all this we also have our own unique communication challenges to deal with. We take more time to think before we speak, which can make opening up that much more challenging. We worry that we won’t be able to find the right words at the right time. We wonder if the other person is even interested. To protect ourselves from possible rejection, we evade opening up through various clever means. The sneaky way introverts avoid opening up One of our favorite ways to avoid sharing our secrets is by keeping the conversation focused squarely on the other person. We pepper our conversation partner with questions, partly because we’re genuinely interested, and partly because we want to deflect the spotlight. We might even endure boring small talk, which we despise, if it means avoiding opening up about ourselves. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve used all of the above tactics to sidestep sharing personal information about myself. But one of my all-time favorite ways to avoid opening up was to choose friends who would never give me the opportunity to do so. You know the type...
by Michaela | May 24, 2017 | Blog, connection, Introvert confidence & communication, Introvert List Post |
Have you been feeling down lately? You’re not alone. A lot of us introverts have a tendency toward melancholy. It’s not that we can’t be as happy as extroverts. But sometimes our busy, overthinking brain makes it difficult. Because guess what. We introverts are thinkers. Often, our thoughts quickly turn to worries, and our ideas turn to doubt. That’s not the only reason why you might be feeling down. The sneaky reason you’re feeling down There is another sneaky factor that makes introverts feel down, even when everything seems peachy around us. It’s what I like to call the overstimulation cycle. Here’s what it looks like: You go out, have ‘fun’, and stay busy because that’s what others tell you to do to have a productive and happy life. But when you do catch a moment of solitude after all your outing and abouting, you feel exhausted. And it doesn’t end there. You feel strangely empty, which makes no sense because you just did a bunch of social activities that were supposed to make you feel fulfilled. You think you’re feeling down because you aren’t doing, seeing, and socializing enough. So, you force yourself back out the door and into the very situations that are causing the void. If you can relate to the above scenario, you are like so many introverts who get caught up in an overstimulation cycle that leaves us feeling down, and even depressed. I should know. Why I felt empty I used to constantly force myself into highly extroverted environments because I thought it would cure my nagging sense of loneliness. In high school and...
by Michaela | May 8, 2017 | Blog, connection |
A lot of introverts are hardcore animal lovers. Sometimes, we even love our animal friends more than people. Who can blame us? Animals offer a kind of companionship that feeds an introvert’s gentle soul like nothing else. While people drain our energy by expecting constant conversation, animals replenish us by offering comfort beyond words. As serious and stoic as we may seem on the outside, we introverts need love and affection, too. Often, our animal friends are just what the doctor ordered. After a long day filled with too much peopling, a cuddle from a furry cutie has us good as new again. My strange animal best friend This is a little embarrassing to admit, but growing up, my best friend was my pet rat. Sure, I had human friends, too, but Mickey the rat was an endless source of joy and companionship for me. After all, we had so much in common. We both loved to explore nature, munch on yummy food, and take naps. oh yeah, and we were both very quiet as well. Mickey the rat and I didn’t have very many deep conversations, and that’s what made our bond all the more strong. Introverts need companions who allow us to feel safe in our silence. Animals do this naturally. – Tweet this Overthinking and anxious? Animal friends cure all Many of us innies have a tendency to overthink. We create thought knots that we spend the whole day trying to untangle. This gets very tiring, and can cause a lot of anxiety. The pure loving presence of an animal friend gets us out of our head...
by Michaela | Feb 19, 2017 | Blog, connection, Introvert confidence & communication, introvert energy, introvert guide |
Are you as sick as I am of reading travel advice written by and for extroverts? If so, I’ve got the goods for you today. I’ve put together an introvert travel guide that will show you how to add more wonder to your wanderlust, without getting overwhelmed. Because here’s the thing. Introverts are known for staying home. While extroverts seek constant stimulation and excitement, we seek solitude and peace. But this is only part of the picture. Introverts, too, can catch the travel bug. It’s just that we like to do it on our own terms. While it’s true that travel can be exhausting for introverts, it doesn’t have to be. I should know. Over the years, I’ve travelled across continents in the name of art, adventure, escape, and plain old curiosity. Just to give you some context regarding the range of travel experiences I’ve had, here’s a quick summary of just a few of my overseas escapades. I’ve travelled solo through Latin America, New Zealand, Australia, and Thailand. Those of you who know me know that at the end of 2012, I quit my job, sold everything that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase, and set off on a cross-continental odyssey to find purpose and meaning. I have to be honest, this kind of hardcore solo travel is not for everyone, even if you’re an introvert. But I’ll tell you how you can make it work a bit later. I’ve travelled to Puerto Rico, New York, and Portland with a salsa dance troupe. We went to compete, perform, and take workshops at big dance events called “salsa congresses”. With...
by Michaela | Feb 2, 2017 | Blog, Business/leadership, connection, Introvert confidence & communication |
If you’re an introvert like me, you probably don’t leap for joy at the prospect of going on a job interview. Let’s face it, selling ourselves to strangers doesn’t come easily to most introverts. That’s why I’m sharing an epic and awesome introvert job interview guide with you today. But first, can I be honest with you? As an introvert myself, I actually don’t think we’re at as much of a disadvantage in job interviews as others would lead us to believe. You see, we have a lot of goodies in our introvert job interview toolkit. 4 Introvert Job Interview Skills You Already Have As an introvert, you have a wealth of skills and gifts to bring to a job interview. You’re already better prepared to wow a potential employer than you think. Here’s why: 1. You’re highly observant. You pick up on subtleties others might miss. This comes in handy when you’re at a job interview and you need to pay attention to body language and facial expression cues from the interviewer. 2. You like to be prepared. Introverts are known for thinking things through before acting. When it comes to job interviews, you’re more likely to do your research and prepare your answers ahead of time. After all, you are an internal processor, which means you need time to think before you speak. You’re not going to just breeze into an interview and rely on smooth talking and charm. 3. You’re an innovative creative. You might think that creativity has no place in most corporate jobs. The same goes for jobs for introverts in the medical field,...
