Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Dear INFJ friend, You’ll probably relate to this. As an INFJ, you most likely already know that we are magnets for narcissist personalities. What troubles us the most is the feeling of guilt INFJs feel when we start thinking it’s our fault. We are our own worst critics, especially when we face external pressure. I had my share of relationships with narcissists and I always felt like it was all my fault. I felt worthless and lonely. So I had to ask myself… Why narcissist personalities prey on INFJs INFJs are called protectors. However, that protection can go against our own better judgement. Because we want to indulge and “fix” our partner or friend who is a narcissist, we unconsciously sabotage our own feelings. Desperately wanting to give love, INFJs start losing the one thing we need the most — self-love. According to Deborah Ward, the author of “Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness”, it’s important to remember that it’s not your love narcissist personalities need. It’s their own. Ward adds: “You will never be able to ‘fix’ anyone. Everyone has their own path to follow and to become a whole and healthy person, everyone needs to walk that path on their own, making their own mistakes, learning to pick themselves up, and discovering how to love themselves.” Narcissists will only see their own image reflected when they look at you. They will never see who you really are. It’s pointless to try to give love to a narcissist. They will never be satisfied, or grateful. What you need to do is give that love to yourself, because you deserve...
10 Secret Habits of Mentally Strong Introverts 

10 Secret Habits of Mentally Strong Introverts 

When you’re an introvert living in an extrovert’s world, it’s easy to get thrown off balance. Luckily, there are tried and true habits that mentally strong introverts use to stay on track. Because here’s the thing. We introverts get overwhelmed by things that extroverts thrive on. They crave the buzz of constant socializing, and busyness. Meanwhile, the chaotic pace of modern life makes us introverts want to hide under a blanket all day. Not only that … The demands of daily life can turn our mind to mush. We come home after a long day feeling mentally exhausted and defeated. It’s tough to have a resilient mindset when you’re constantly battling introvert overwhelm. Thankfully, there is a better way. Developing the habits of mentally strong introverts can mean the difference between limping through existence like a battered old street dog, and feeling a sense of confidence and control over your life. I should know. I’m an introvert myself. And I’ve been on this earth long enough (32 years now) to understand that our mind is one of the few things we have control over. This is good news for introverts, who spend a whole lot of time prancing through our vast mental landscapes. The tricky part is knowing how to stay mentally strong no matter what daily challenges we face. It turns out that habits and mindsets have a whole lot to do with it. That’s why I’m revealing … The 10 habits of mentally strong introverts “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the...
THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

Having an introverted personality impacts every area of your life. It’s obvious how your introversion influences your career and relationships, but is it possible that there is a link between personality and food? And is there such a thing as an ideal introvert diet? As an introvert, you might have already noticed that you have unique dietary needs. For example, you might be more sensitive to stimulants, such as caffeine and refined sugar. Perhaps, you’ve also discovered that eating certain foods does crazy things to your already unpredictable energy levels. Is it possible that your introversion has something to do with these diet sensitivities? The research on the subject is thin, but I’ve uncovered some important links between personality and diet: Many introverts, identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP) — especially those with ‘IN’ Myers-Briggs personality types (INFP, INFJ, INTJ, INTP) . When you are HSP, you experience hypersensitivity to external AND internal stimuli. Caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and various chemicals are all forms of stimuli that can create fatigue, anxiety, and mental fog in HSPs. Introverts are deep thinkers, who make decisions based on their internal experience. Many introverts carefully contemplate — and, even obsess — over the foods we choose to eat, making sure to consider how these foods line up with our values. This can lead to a highly specific introvert diet, which takes into account all sorts of factors, such as animal welfare, the environment, longevity, and disease prevention. Many introverts also consider themselves to be empaths. This means that we literally feel the energy and emotions of others. This can impact diet in two...
Proud To Be An Introvert | ♥ MUST SEE Inspiration

Proud To Be An Introvert | ♥ MUST SEE Inspiration

  When you’re an introvert living in an extrovert’s world, you spend a lot of time feeling misunderstood. People wonder … Why are you so quiet? Why do you keep wandering off? Why would you want to be alone when there are parties to go to, people to meet, and adventures to be had. They don’t understand that for an introvert, our adventures begin on the inside Our imagination gives us wings Carrying us  to new worlds We are the thinkers, the creators, the dreamers We may be still and silent, But we are soaring So when you look at us sitting alone, or daydreaming or wandering off by ourselves Don’t feel sorry for us We may be quiet, but don’t underestimate our power We know more than we say, we think more than we speak, and we observe more than you know. We’re introverts, and that doesn’t make us ‘failed extroverts’ We grew up thinking there was something wrong with us But the truth is that introverts are so much more than what meets the eye We are deep divers in a world of shallow swimmers We know how to listen, not just to words, but also to the subtle messages carried on the wings of silence Give us the freedom to be who we were meant to be And you’ll see how much introverts have to offer the world It’s true that some people might never understand us, and that’s okay Because, when you know how to stand alone The crowd can’t knock you down Please don’t try to change us into extroverts We don’t want to...
How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

Loneliness is the biggest obstacle slowing down INFJs on the road to happiness. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is not easy. No other feeling causes so much anxiety and sadness. What separates loneliness from other roadblocks on the INFJ path is that it can show its face anytime and anywhere. Why is overcoming loneliness hard for INFJs? Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people, listening the sound of small talk, and feeling judgmental eyes looking straight at you? I know I have plenty of times. Even today I face judging words — “He is weird, quiet, and strange”—  because I love spending hours in bookstores by myself, and love having dinner alone in a restaurant. If I’m honest, I feel lonely where I am now. But I’m balancing that feeling because there are plenty of moments when happiness embraces me. The source of my loneliness comes from the knowledge that people I hold dear live thousands of miles away. Also, my full potential will only be fulfilled when I reach my dream and leave my current location. It will happen, but until then, loneliness and me are stuck with each other. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is hard because we often feel misunderstood. We feel that no one gets us and that we’re all alone in our way of thinking. It feels lonely when INFJs constantly need to explain why solitude is important, why we feel lonely in a crowd, or why we need peace and quiet. It’s not easy to win a race against loneliness, but it’s possible. The best strategy to conquer INFJ loneliness A review by researchers at the University...
The Ultimate Introvert Travel Guide

The Ultimate Introvert Travel Guide

Are you as sick as I am of reading travel advice written by and for extroverts? If so, I’ve got the goods for you today. I’ve put together an introvert travel guide that will show you how to add more wonder to your wanderlust, without getting overwhelmed. Because here’s the thing. Introverts are known for staying home. While extroverts seek constant stimulation and excitement, we seek solitude and peace. But this is only part of the picture. Introverts, too, can catch the travel bug. It’s just that we like to do it on our own terms. While it’s true that travel can be exhausting for introverts, it doesn’t have to be. I should know. Over the years, I’ve travelled across continents in the name of art, adventure, escape, and plain old curiosity. Just to give you some context regarding the range of travel experiences I’ve had, here’s a quick summary of just a few of my overseas escapades. I’ve travelled solo through Latin America, New Zealand, Australia, and Thailand. Those of you who know me know that at the end of 2012, I quit my job, sold everything that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase, and set off on a cross-continental odyssey to find purpose and meaning. I have to be honest, this kind of hardcore solo travel is not for everyone, even if you’re an introvert. But I’ll tell you how you can make it work a bit later. I’ve travelled to Puerto Rico, New York, and Portland with a salsa dance troupe. We went to compete, perform, and take workshops at big dance events called “salsa congresses”. With...