Do you have mixed feelings about reconnecting with others after lockdown?
Maybe you miss people, but you also have anxieties about socializing again. If so, you’re not alone.
A reader named Christeen recently commented on my blog: “I don’t want to reconnect with people after quarantine has lifted and I feel guilty about that.
I get it.
Things have opened up to varying degrees depending on where you are. But that doesn’t mean we introverts are feeling more open.
As I said in a previous email, being alone can be addictive, especially if you’re a highly sensitive introvert like me.
While I definitely want to reconnect with the people and hobbies that I’ve been social distanced from for the past few months, part of me is afraid.
I’m scared of diving back in too fast and hard and experiencing social burnout.
After all, finding that sweet balance between solitude and socializing is tricky for introverts.
That’s why introverts often choose the pain of loneliness over the discomfort of social overwhelm.
The constant threat of overstimulation makes it easy for introverts to fall into a pattern of pushing people away.
My love-hate relationship with lockdown
If you’re anything like me, you’ve both enjoyed and abhorred lockdown.
You liked the simplicity and slower pace. But you hated the sense of stagnation. Because here’s the thing.
We all need to feel like our life and relationships are moving forward. Right now it feels like the whole world is waiting.
Waiting for things to open up.
Waiting for some good news.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop (if there are even any more shoes to drop).
Waiting for the right people to just drift into our life.
Waiting, waiting, waiting. It’s a very dangerous state to be in, if you ask me.
Why we need to stop waiting
Let’s face it, even before the pandemic, most of us were ‘waiters’. We were all waiting for something to happen in our lives.
We thought that if we just achieved or received that one magic thing, it would save us.
But the dream home, the career success, the perfect partner—none of it will rescue us from ourselves.
The best solution, especially given the current circumstances, is acceptance. We surrender to what we can’t change and take practical action on what we can change.
Worrying and complaining are pointless.
As Eckhart Tolle put it: “When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”
I know this is all easier said than done. I probably think of a dozen silent complains before breakfast.
That’s why I included a daily gratitude practice in the Introvert Self-Care Checklist I sent to you yesterday.
At night, I also like to right down the best parts of the day. Often, it’s simple things like a nice meal or seeing the sunset. This helps me to see the good in my current situation, and accept where I am.
Don’t get me wrong…
I still have goals, which I’m actively working towards. Many of these goals involve reconnecting with people in meaningful ways.
If you’d like some introvert-specific insights on how to connect and make friends authentically, grab my free Introvert Connection Guide.
Love,
P.S. If you’re new to the blog, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Michaela Chung, author of The Irresistible Introvert and creator of this amazing innie community we have here. For several years, I’ve been building up a labyrinth of introvert resources that will take you on a magical journey toward more confidence, connection, and self-love. Start with this free Introvert Connection Guide.
