5 Biggest Pet Peeves Of An Introvert

introvert pet peeves

Introverts are annoyed by a lot of the things that extroverts get all giddy about. This can lead others to believe that we are “party poppers” who are hard to please. Really, we just feel bent out of shape from trying to conform to the extrovert ideal all the time.

So many social norms and pleasantries are based on extrovert preferences: small talk, party etiquette, “appropriate” group behaviour. Can you blame us for feeling cranky sometimes?

It’s natural for introverts to develop a few (or a few hundred) pet peeves . Most of the time, we stay quiet about our mini resentments. But every so often it feels good to vent. So, that’s exactly what I intend to do in this post. Here they are for your reading pleasure, and my venting pleasure –  the 5 biggest introvert pet peeves:

1. People commenting on our quietness.

Yes, introverts are quiet. We are all aware of this by now. Unfortunately, some people are determined to point out the obvious.

They look at us with tilted heads, and say, “you’re quiet.” If we’re lucky, they’ll leave it at that. If we’re not, they’ll continue by saying, “what’s wrong,” or “why are you so serious,” or “are you mad at me?” All of which are just as irritating, especially when we were perfectly content in our quiet state. Emphasis on the were. Comments on our quietness make us feel self-conscious.

When people point out our silence, we feel like a foreign specimen under a microscope. Ever noticed how little single-celled organisms say? Never heard anyone point that out.

I could write an entire post about this one pet peeve … in fact, I did. Read it here.

2. The extrovert’s game of conversation.

There are lots of things about the way that extroverts communicate that annoy introverts. For one, many extroverts treat conversation like a sport. In the extrovert’s conversation match, the person who can talk the longest, and respond the fastest wins.

Points are awarded for endurance, speed, and agility. Bonus points if you can fire out useless facts and events in rapid succession.

In the extrovert’s conversation match, every void must be filled with words. This can be quite painful for introverts, who just want a few moments of quiet to collect our thoughts.

3. Unexpected visitors.

I absolutely love it when people pop by my house unannounced just to say “hi” – especially in the morning.


Not only is this a pet peeve for most introverts, it also verges on being a phobia.There is something downright frightening about someone surprising us at our home. It feels like an enemy infiltrating our secret bunker in extrovert territory.

Remember when leaving a flaming bag of dog poop on someone’s doorstep was the ultimate prank? I think I’d prefer that over an unexpected guest showing up on my doorstep.

4. Talking on the phone.

I know that talking on the phone is unavoidable sometimes. But most of the time, I’d rather communicate in person, or via text. To be honest, I’m not even into texting that much. All the buzzing and beeping disrupts whatever it is I’m intensely focused on at the time. Part of me wishes we could still communicate by smoke signal. The other part is leaning toward Morse Code.

The bottom line is that introverts are annoyed by nearly every aspect of talking on the phone: the unexpected interruption, the incessant ringing, the loss of visual cues. I talk about why introverts hate talking on the phone in-depth here.

5. The more the merrier philosophy.

I’ve never heard an introvert say “the more the merrier,” and actually mean it. If we do utter these evil four words, it is through clenched teeth. Instead of feeling merry in large groups, we often feel more alone. This quote by Henry Rollins says it best:

“Yes, I guess you could say I’m a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowded room with boring people than I feel on my own.”

Not only do crowds make us feel more alone, they also drain our energy, and leave us feeling irritable. No wonder we get annoyed when people cheerfully announce “the more the merrier”.

Did I miss any?

So, there you have it. My introvert rant. I swear I’m not a cranky old Scrooge. I’m just like any other introvert living in an extrovert’s world – I keep quiet about my pet peeves most of the time, but enjoy being noisy about them on the Internet.

If you feel like you need to do a little venting, go ahead and share your pet peeves in the comments below.






  1. How true are all of these! I love your blog ❤️

    • All of the above, plus talking loudly. It seems that not only do extroverts have to talk the most, longest, but they have to do it in the most ear-splitting voices no matter the size of the room! Ouch!

      • Yes! Absolutely yes!

        And if the introverts express how it bothers them, it’s “no big deal.” But the quiet folks who mind their own business are “weird.”

  2. Unexpected visitors… Uh… The very sound of it makes my skin crawl… 😀 Mine pet peeve (besides the ones you wrote here Michaela), is also when someone (not everyone of course) approaches me in public, although they clearly see that I am reading a book and wearing headphones… “Hi, how are you” follows… Um, what part of “I am reading and listening music” you don’t understand? 😀

    • @Marko, I totally agree with you when it comes to being disturbed when I’m reading a book or listening to music. I notice that when I am busy thats when I get bothered the most, but then I look around and see that the people that are not busy, never get asked for anything. I hate being interrupted especially when I’m listening to music. I give people the death stare. Like really. I put on my shades when the sun is out and even in the winter time, to avoid eye contact because as soon as you make eye contact with someone, especially a guy, they just come on over and bother you.

      I was running for the bus one time and I heard someone yelling, saying excuse me miss and I thought I dropped something, and I ran back and I was like what, what happened? I was rushing and this guy saw me rushing and he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. Really, you see someone rushing for the bus, I damn near almost tripped and missed my bus and you want to know if I have a boyfriend oh and what bus I’m getting on because you wanted directions, as if you couldn’t ask someone else.

      I love this too @Naomi “I keep quiet about my pet peeves most of the time, but enjoy being noisy about them on the Internet.” Where is the ‘LOVE’ button?! 🙂

      I get so tired of people disturbing me, I can be around people just not long periods of time. I shouldn’t have to be called weird and something is wrong with me, just because I don’t be around people all the time. My friends boyfriend had to tell her, people need a break from you , not everybody can rip and run like you do everyday. When I’m home reading and relaxing and doing yoga, I don’t want to be interrupted. Thats one of the main reasons I was so happy when I moved into a new building no one new me. As soon as you know people they want to come over.

      One time my friend called me and I didn’t answer, I was charging the phone and she thought it was ok to ring my bell. I said why didn’t you call, she said she did but I didn’t answer, so she just came up. She clearly saw I was about to get in the shower and when I let her in, she sat down and I looked at the time and saw that it was almost 10 minutes since she’s been in my apt, after that, I told her I had a man in my apartment and she rarely ever came up there since. That was the only way I could get her not to come unannounced. Even when I moved next door to her a couple of years later, I had to let her know, just because you don’t mind people popping up. Doesn’t mean I like it. I let her know how much that really annoyed me.

      She would hear me working out next door and she would call me, I had to tell her my phone was off, nice girl but I have to go through great lengths not to get people to contact me, especially people who talk/text to much. I know to many extroverted people who crave attention and the spotlight. This is why I gave up acting when I was 21, I do not want to be famous. Why don’t extroverts respect introverts space??

    • Spot on!! I love the uexpected visitors rant especially the morning ones! And I do feel overwhelmed or drained by too many people and choose my friends very very carefully. One friend is particularly awesome as he does not judge or make me feel bad for my solitary ways!

      Its refreshing to have people understand or accept my introverted needs for space and lifestyle and its those people who get my full attention and time.

      Call it consideration or co-operation, but its what every introvert needs.

    • Oh I can so relate!

  3. I’m often judged because of my quietness. It annoys me to no end. Especially when people ask me if there’s something wrong, I want to scream at them but I calmly say no; only for them to ask me again. Sigh.

    • I get that all the time

  4. I like being around a lot of people; I just don’t enjoy having to interact with them. This is one of the reasons I like going to New York City where I am surrounded by strangers who have no interest in me or mostly do not even notice me.
    Conversely, I like being missed when I do not attend a social function. This goes along with “I want to be invited. I just don’t want to go.”

    • Like Mark, I don’t mind crowds — they tend to talk to each other and I can just sit and listen. I’m going to dinner and the movies with people from work tonight and am relieved that there will be 7-8 of us instead of 2-3 so that I’m not forced to chit chat.

  5. Good morning pretty lady! On my journey, I have learned so much about Me! Finally! Thank you! thank you! thank you!!!! I love this pet peeve thing, I have been picked on for years about the phone, My mother in law lives for the phone, I finally had to just say, NO! I sent her articles on Highly sensitive people and the phone, she still doesn’t get it, but has stopped calling constantly, just to gossip, which I dislike as well, never understood gossip or snooping into others lives. I love you pretty lady, You have gave me so many ah ha moments! In Gratitude!! Namaste Shelley Jo Graham

  6. Number 3 is my ‘favourite’ (NOT!). Even family members popping around is so intrusive to me. Why can’t they at least ring first? My FIL is the worst offender and I’ve been told about him ‘oh he’d never ring’. So that makes it OK??? Once I was so annoyed that I went upstairs and stayed there when he knocked. I feel bad about that but wouldn’t hesitate to do it again :). Really, don’t call around unannounced (of course this person is a retired extrovert married to an introvert so he’s always looking for excuses to get out of the house!)

    Aah, sometimes all you need is a good vent. Thanks for another great post Michaela.

  7. OMG

    These are so true.
    I remember a friend of mine dropping by my house one time and I felt so awkward that even I was perplexed about my behavior
    I am sure he thought I was on some sort of drug

  8. As an introvert who can’t seem to make small talk when at any gathering or event I find it extremely frustrating when at bowling to be asked “Am I having a good time yet”. Found myself shuffled off to a different persons team this year. Assume it wasn’t only my low scores but the fact that as an over 70 year old (seniors group) didn’t run around mixing.

  9. “I keep quiet about my pet peeves most of the time, but enjoy being noisy about them on the Internet.”

    Where is the ‘LOVE’ button?! 🙂

  10. Hi Michaela,

    You are spot on with these ‘pet peeves’. I always get into arguments with people, because they keep calling me quiet and asking me whats wrong all the time. I get called hermit because I like to be home. I’m a cancer and very much a homebody. I can’t stand when people pop up at my apartment. A friend of mine did this a few years ago with her children. She called herself surprising me and her kids tore my place up within a matter of 10 minutes. Had I known they were coming I would have been dressed and out the door. I don’t know why she did that. I was so upset when the doorman didn’t call me, she asked him not too. I was about to get in the shower and someone kept ringing the bell. I wasn’t expecting anyone.

    I looked out the peep hole I couldn’t see. This went on for several minutes and then I finally opened up the door and I yelled WTF! And she was standing there with her 2 kids. Apparently she thought this was funny. She never did it again. I don’t like surprises or people popping up at my place and she knew this. Her kids had a problem sitting down. They were touching everything in my studio. Not only that, they were jumping on my bed. I can’t stand it when people don’t respect my space. My ex, we got into so many arguments because he kept doing this to me, but he was doing it, because he wanted to see if I had someone else in my apartment. He was insecure. I never popped up at his place he lived to far plus I hated his area. We eventually broke up because of other reasons but that was one of them.

    I got into an argument with a family friend because she told me her family was coming over and I was staying at her place and she refused to tell me when they coming and how many people. I understand it wasn’t my place but I don’t know why we kept going back and forth about me wanting to know who was coming. All weekend, I didn’t get any sleep. Three people came and a baby. Not only that, it caused me to socialized. I came in from B&N and tried to hurry up and grab my food and go upstairs and her son caught me in the kitchen and I wind up having a 40 minute conversation and I was starving.

    When I see people are busy or look tired I get the hint and I leave them alone. People don’t do this to me. I actually ended up in the hospital because my energy was tapped. This lady kept bothering me every single day, calling me and waking me up. I can’t stand needy clingy people. I keep weird hours, always have, whether its work or whether I’m writing and when I got to sleep I like to get a few hours in, uninterrupted but people think because they are in my space or if I’m in there, that they have a right to wake me up. When people are in my home, I leave them alone.

    A friend of mine, that I used live next door too, I had to stop hanging out with her, because she would kidnap me and not bring me home. When we met, I wasn’t working but I was looking for work, she was pregnant at the time and I offered to go with her to her Dr. appointments because it was in the dead of winter and snowing. I was concerned for her and the safely of her unborn child. This backfired on me, because she thought I had all the time in the word to spend with her and maybe she was just lonely, but I had to tell her I can’t do this all the time, because after her appts, she never went straight home.

    I hate to eat out and when time would go by, she would try to get me to eat out, she didn’t want to be home. I had a fridge full of food and I can’t stand spending money on food when I have food at home. Eating out in noisy places bothers the hell out of me. This is why I don’t date very much, I prefer to get to know a guy, for a few months then its great if he cooks or if I cook. i prefer intimate dinners not loud noisy places but I haven’t found anyone that I’m comfortable doing that with. If I do have a man in my apt, I’ve known him for years and we are really good friends. LOL

    I get called weird all the time. I literally get into arguments with people because they refuse to respect my space and when I feel the need to retreat. People drain me. Its always crazy that I never get sick from harsh winters, its usually people. My ex, I almost ended up in the hospital, he was so needy and clingy and a mammas boy. He moved in on me and we never even discussed it, like a real couple. He figured was together for a while that it would be ok. I had no clue he quit his job and lost his place and he need planned on telling me. Had I known, I would have given him the money to keep it, not live with me. But this was his plan to try and hold onto me, when the relationship had been past its expiration date.

    Everything I tried to do to help him, backfired because he didn’t want my help, he wanted me to take care of him. Until he figured out what he wanted to do with his life. His plans for the future all did not include me in anyway, I was just a convenience for him because I lived in a nice apartment and the things I had. Also when I downgraded into a studio, once again, her he was. and I was in one room. I woke up one day and literally could not breathe, he was int he house everyday and in my bed and we were even intimate, we stopped that years ago. I had to put him out because he was making no attempt to do anything with his life. When I kicked him out, he got a job, apt and car.

    He had this before, but when he knew I didn’t love him and more and when I was trying to move on, he figured, if I’m around more and we live together this will help. No! I don’t know why he thought that would work, when he tried to marry me when I was 24 I dumped him. We broke up for a few years and we got back together, wrong stupid move but I gave him a chance. I shouldn’t have now that I look back but you live and learn.

    I’m very social at times but after a few hours I need to be home. I can’t stand noise and being “ON” all the time. I like my space and I shouldn’t have to explain Why I need time alone. It’s exhausting when people need me all the time and I can’t stand when people text me. For this very same reason, I don’t have my phone on now. I had to cut off a lot people who just kept calling and texting me all the time. I can’t stand being interrupt. Now the only way I can be reached is through email. I prefer to talk in person but then people don’t know when to let me go, lol. I’ve always been this way and I don’t see the need to change. I would like love one day in my life again but It would take an understanding man and not one who is clingy and needy all the time.

    I tend to meet men who keep looking at me like a breeding host. Thats all they want, and especially since I cook and I’m very nurturing. They don’t even know me but as soon as I say I love to cook or if they ask, they immediately start working on us being at the alter, unbeknownst to me. For the life of me, I don’t know why I keep meeting this clingy needy men who are literally looking for a version of their mother or a maid. I want someone to want me for my mind and my soul. But thats not what they see, all they see is the exterior and sex. It makes me wonder if I will ever find love.

  11. Does anyone have the ultimate comeback line for – “you’re quiet” or “smile, it could be worse” any of those comments we love so much!! I would love to have a great comeback for these times!

    • “Smile!” When I was younger and didn’t have this whole introvert thing figured out yet, that command caused me untold amounts of angst. I finally figured out to say, “my dog died.” Not having a dog makes it even better. I think the reason this one always got under my skin is the fact that I smile and laugh quite a bit–just not constantly. Waiting for the bus or walking into a convenience store do not automatically cause me to smile.

    • You could respond with something like, “I’d like you to really consider, Who are you? Only now… everywhere but here… like this in every way… and only that… and beyond all this.”

      That should send them inward to process what they just heard.

    • If I’m in a chatty group of people I say “Somebody has to be [quiet].. for balance” if they decide to let me know that I’m quiet. But at this point if somebody ever brings that up again, I don’t see a problem saying “Because I’m an introvert, we are totally comfortable being just listeners”.
      I thought I had a phone phobia before I’ve read this article. Happy to learn that is normal.

    • My daughter made a t-shirt that says, “I know I’m quiet. You don’t have to point it out!” She wears it often to get the point across.

    • Just say.. Well God gave me two ears and only one mouth. And then just smile.

    • “You sure are quiet.”…and I say, “You sure are loud.”

  12. Touché👏 actually laughed out loud.

  13. #4..not only talking. All forms of communication annoy me. I like email because I can step away from my computer. Phones, texting, IMing of any sort, hate it all. I don’t even have a text plan on my flip phone lol.

  14. I also am fed up with being asked, what’s wrong or are you o.k? I answer with a sarcastic remark like, “I’m trying to solve the world peace problem” or ” I’m working on a cure for cancer” whoever asked the question is always left looking quite perplexed and don’t ask again.

  15. The E Game of Conversation I am faced with often. There is a mom I know who cannot wait to jump in whenever I finish (or anyone finishes) a sentence and direct the convo back to her or her kids , related to the same topic.

    When I was a kid and teenager I would get uncomfortable if someone commented on my quietness, but now I rarely get that comment as I am not as quiet per say but I know how to say what I need to say and have a convo that is reciprocal (ie not like the E conversation game above). I like the fact that I don’t dominate, it can be a turn off to people.

  16. The more the merrier makes me nervous because it will likely include those conversation competitors!

    • Exactly!

  17. For people who see talking and interacting as the default (especially in places where this is also true culturally!), people who act differently automatically get seen in a negative light. After 11 years together, even my extroverted partner, who does try to see from my point of view, often forgets because it just doesn’t come naturally to him. I agree with #1 and especially when people use it as an excuse to try to “draw me out” or start a conversation, even if I feel I’m giving obvious signals that I’m not interested (as at lease one person here commented, with headphones! or a book!). 3-5 I think I’ve just gotten used to…I don’t prefer them, but I learned my own little strategies for dealing. #2 though can be really difficult, especially in an argument. My way of wanting to think about things easily seems to get mistaken for withdrawal, a lack of engagement in the other person, which is the last thing I’m feeling! It hurts when trying your best only upsets the other.
    If I had to add anything to this list I guess it would be the emphasis on networking in a lot of jobs. Maybe this isn’t specific enough to be a peeve? But everyone takes it as a foregone conclusion that you have to “sell yourself” and schmooze, the thought of which makes me shudder. I don’t blame them for saying that though, because for the most part, they’re right. I wish there were more explicit avenues for people of all different kinds to learn, connect, and work in their own ways.

  18. #3 (unexpected visitors) really hit home with me. I’m fine if I have time to prepare. I just don’t like to be put in surprise social situations. I could add pet peeve related to #3: bumping into someone I know while grocery shopping. Even if it’s someone I like, all I can think is “oh dang, I hope they didn’t see me!” If they see me, is it rude to just say “hi” as I walk by? If we have to stop for small talk, how long do I have to linger before I can get on with my shopping? Maybe I need to start doing my shopping in the next town over….
    #4 (phone) is also nearly a phobia for me. It’s not only the unexpected nature of someone calling me, but I actually have to psych myself up when I’m making the call. I’ve never completely understood this one – why is talking to someone on the phone scarier than talking to them in person? Shouldn’t I feel safer on the other end of a phone line? Yet I’d MUCH rather talk to them in person, to the point I will sometimes go out of my way to make that happen.

    • Jared,
      your 3 & 4 are mine too; reading your comments made me feel a lot better.
      A close friend of mine will ‘descend’ on my place at the drop of a hat, with no warning at all. She suspects I am in when I don’t answer the door, then proceeds to message/phone me, and maybe shout thru the letter box ‘Answer the door, I know you’re there!’
      Can’t tell you how I hate this.
      I like to know if and when friends are coming to visit to I can prepare things and myself.

  19. My biggest pet peeves on this topic relate to how society in general as well as official establishments make negative judgements in regards to intelligence, character, competence, etc. against people who are not outgoing enough.

    As for the ones on the list, 1- This depends on how it is said, if it is a statement of fact then I don’t care, but I don’t like it if it is spoken as an accusation. 2- Those specific things don’t really bother me. What does is when a person thinks that speaking loudly, frequently interrupts me, pays no attention to what I said, and uses buzzwords and slogans over original thought. Not many people do this, but those that do are annoying. 3 and 4 are similar, it really depends on who it is, the reason for visit or call, and if I’m busy or not. 5- This depends on the context.

  20. The presumption that conversing with someone else, any conversation at all, is always preferable to any solitary activity.

    The “look how much I know about x” filibuster. This has nothing to do with conversation. It’s pure kudo-seeking by large, fragile egos. I will say/do ANYTHING to end it immediately.

    “You’re quiet”
    “I’m always quiet when I’m perfectly content, [then someone opens their mouth]” – (okay, just venting a little here 😉

    “Don’t you get bored?”
    “I’m never bored when I’m alone” – (then watch as that sinks in)

  21. Hi Michaela,
    “Yes, I guess you could say I’m a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowded room with boring people than I feel on my own.” – THIS is 100% me! 🙂

    This is a great post to the point! –
    I have realized: Doesn’t matter WHY a “crowd” is joining, even when it’s all in “good cause”, it makes no sense to me because I’m afraid of permanent small talk etc. – I can’t help it, it would be nothing more than stress for me!

    I add: I prefer to go to a supermarket in another town, just because I don’t like to meet any small talking neighbors there! hahaha

  22. I liked your comment on Morse Code. Because it’s such a fit for introverts. Even at 15 words per minute – which is fast for the code – it requires much thought to state a clear and concise idea. As an aside I wonder how many amateur radio operators (hams) – now a days the primary users of the code – are introvert?

  23. I so much agree with everything you said, I especially hate it when I am thinking I am having a conversation with someone and they are just repeating what I already said! or when I think I have connected with someone on a deep level (does this happen to anyone else?) and it turns out they are shallow as all get out!

  24. I find that sometimes “The more the merrier ” can work to my advantage. It makes it easier for me to slip away for some much needed alone time. My wife understands and will come and find me when people start to notice my absence.

    • I agree, more people provide anonymity, which can be nice. 🙂

      • I also agree. Only in the sense that it takes the attention away from me. In my case, if I’m going to be around crowds, then I prefer large non-social events, such as a sporting event, theatre/movie, or anything where the focus is elsewhere.

  25. I was napping one Saturday afternoon with the TV on low. I was asleep enough to be dreaming, and then in an instant I was on my feet because the door was opening and a loud group was talking on their way in: it was my partner’s dad and some guests he had brought into town to visit museums. I had no idea this was going to occur or even that he and they were in town. My partner thought it would be nice to bring them round. The mother of one of the guests came over and hugged me and said, “Thank you for welcoming us into your home!” I really wanted to say, “Oh, is that what I’m doing? I was just in the middle of a nap.” But of course I said you’re welcome and probably looked stunned because I was.

    It was very fortunate for us all that I had all my clothes on!

  26. I wish some of the people in my social circle would comment on my “quietness”. I do try to keep civil discourse moving along (a survival skill I had to learn in order to teach and lecture, albeit an exhausting one), but I’ve found that, most of the time (at least among the people I know), the extroverts are so busy monopolizing the conversation and attention that they have no idea someone is being quiet. In fact, I think they rather enjoy it. Almost as if they are performing. Sigh. These 5 things are very, very big pet peeves of mine, too. You continually hit the proverbial nail on the head! Thanks!

  27. One of my biggies: being expected to brainstorm in a meeting. Tell me the issue/problem/concept and let me go off into my hidey-hole, and it’s pretty likely I’ll come back with something interesting. Throwing great ideas off the cuff while a bunch of other people are talking? Not gonna happen.

  28. I could have not put it more succinctly, esp the next door neighbor “visit”. I work with the public every day, I treasure my home alone moments like gold and diamonds, even more so. Thanks for putting those pet peeves out there! And thanks for reading this!

  29. I was asked the “you’re so quiet” question yesterday. I was very content in staring out the window and that interrupted my train of thought. I said, “I was fine”, and my friend kept murmuring about my quietness. I had little to no energy to deal with this since I was pretty drained from my work out earlier in the day, but I was stuck in the car since my friend was driving. I’m reconsidering hanging out with this person for longer periods of time without an escape route i.e. my own car.

    With this said in mind, I feel that I may never find a person who truly understood and appreciate my introversion. I keep repeating myself about the same issue which irritates me off and puts me into an anti-social mood. Just dealing with this makes me doubtful about dating, therefore, I don’t pursue the opposite sex because I’m so worn out from explaining myself. Communication is key in a relationship, but if the idea is not understood and recognized after repeated attempts, then my time with someone is futile. I’ve gone passive in this pursuit and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for a relationship.

    The struggles of introversion.

  30. One thing I hate (and refuse to go to) are OFFICE PARTIES!

  31. Phone calls and unexpected visitors are the worst. Unexpected phone calls? Makes me wanna hide under the covers LOL. 😛
    And I feel so bad when my extrovert friends and family think this means that I’m mad at them, or that I don’t like them, but…..sorry not sorry, I guess? Haha :3

  32. Wow. I thought that I was the only one who could actually get my legitimate and deeply felt feelings out online without having to ramble and misspell things. I also believed I was the only one who wrote excruciatingly long letters and one of the few who used such intelligent words in their everyday language. My introversion has inclined me to mental disorders, which I still, and will always, deal with. Is anyone else cynical, pessimistic because they see the big picture, skeptical, and intrigued by conspiracy? For example, 9/11, the Titanic, famous assassinations, etc. I think about these things all of the time.
    One thing that really helps me is that I took piano lessons for almost seven years and still play hours on end, at least an hour a day. I have composed song upon song, I just have trouble actually writing down the notes, as it is all memory and I play by ear, don’t read the notes very easily. I also vent by talking to myself, sometimes even in different accents, as I discovered this talent several years ago, although it is hard for extroverts to take this seriously, if you know what I mean. I just joined this website and am excited about the potential it has to be an advocate to my life, no pun intended. Signing off. 🙂

  33. Finally! Someone who understands me…! 😪

  34. Being at a party or in a large group, I’m sitting there quietly and decide I actually have something to interject. So I do, but either because no one is expecting it, I’m not as loud as I’m supposed to be, or because when peoples’ parents told them “don’t interrupt,” it just didn’t take, I just get talked over anyway. Then I sit there stewing for the next hour about how I wasn’t made for this game.

  35. And open-plan offices are an absolute nightmare. Designed by sadists to torture introverts…

    • For years I worked in an office that was an open plan. I’d ask my supervisor a question and six people would answer. I was so happy when partitions were put in, I think I was one of the few who was ecstatic about them!

  36. The boring conversation thing especially… talking about the details of my life or the details of someone else’s life, rather than ideas or a topic unrelated to both of us, is intensely boring and draining. I can do the chit chat for a while, but when I’m asked to sustain a conversation for more than 5 minutes on the basis of this stuff it begins to get too much. A little variety is a nice thing, and talking about stuff that actually matters, even more so.

  37. My pet peeve is everyone whining about their pet peeves and being children. Your an adult, you have to interact with people whether you like it or not.
    Your require to attend an office party and someone walks up and says why are you so quiet? Be honest, tell them because you bore me. They’ll stop. Someone shows up at your door uninvited? Tell them to go away. Phone calls annoy you? shut off the ringer.
    To be honest, no one cares about your piano lessons, talking to yourself in funny British accents, whether you like office parties or not

  38. I found your website on pinterest, and I am so glad I did. My oldest son has a high IQ and a Masters in Physics. He has always been a loner and use to tell me he disliked people, when he was a teenager. Now that he is an adult, I know he has been an introvert, all along. Most of my family are extroverts, but now and then, there has been an introvert family member, that we just didn’t understand. All this is new to me, I just assumed they were unhappy people and never knew why. Reading this has opened my mind and my heart to my son’s personality. I hope to learn more from you, so that I can interact with my son without feeling confused by his attitude toward me. I now know that I have been aggravating him with my giddy happy conversations. Thank you for this information.

  39. There is one situation where I find “the more the merrier” to be true, even though I tested as 89 % Introvert from human metrics’ MBTI. I have a disability, and I have a group of friends who have my same condition, many of whom I only see at a biennial conference for people with the condition. Being that I don’t interact with these people every day, getting together in this large group for a four-day conference is quite nice…though, now, with facebook, I am connected with many of them through the social network…so we communicate more frequently than we used to, before social networking sites like facebook were around. But the face-to-face interaction that only happens every two years is on a whole different level, so it’s nice to do that for four days as well.

  40. people staying in my house! my in-laws came and stayed for a week over Christmas. by day 3 i was ready to put my head thru a wall. now my MIL is coming this Summer for 3 weeks. i am about to have a nervous breakdown at the mere thought of it!! i dont know how i will make it through!

  41. it probably fits with #1, but my most hated is when ignorant people ask me if i know HOW to talk. like really?! yes i do, but you will never hear my voice to find out whether i do or not you arsehole.

  42. Love this list! Only one I’d add is being interrupted. It’s just a sign of flat out disrespect, like my voice and thoughts are not as important or valuable as yours. Grrrrrrrr….

  43. I hate breaking up to work in groups!

  44. I work in “entertainment” at a casino here in Atlantic City. Usually this means i can work in the dark of a theatre with little interactions outside of our small crew. Occasionally i have been asked to fill in at our nightclub as the lighting person. I have never felt alone and isolated as in a room with several hundred people all gyrating to a heavy beat that is so loud as to make it impossible to hear your own thoughts.

  45. People telling me I’m too young and need to socialize and go out more. I will when I want. I am however just fine with my book, my music and the text messaging system.

  46. I thoroughly agree with all five, but there’s one more that drives me nuts. It is sort of a cousin to the Game of Conversation one above, but I detest it when an extrovert tells me every last detail of their private life. Intimate health information, their sick sheep, the moss on their roof. FOR. THE. LOVE. I do not want to hear about the moss on your roof!!!! I feel the life draining out of me AS YOU SPEAK.

  47. Great post!! 100% agree with all! I especially love the one about unannounced visitors. I can’t explain to most people how/why that’s so the opposite of ok. And my husband’s (very extroverted) family is quite happy to have and to be unannounced and STAY over for the weekend or a week without any notice at all! We are actually in the process of moving out of town and away (hopefully!) from where most people would want to visit anyway! Can’t come soon enough 🙂
    Thanks for your always laughable and true insights 🙂



  1. 5 Biggest Pet Peeves Of An Introvert | The Hermit - […] Source: 5 Biggest Pet Peeves Of An Introvert […]

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