Loneliness and boredom–for many, these have been ever present companions during the pandemic.
Even for introverts, isolation is not an easy pill to swallow, especially when it’s not voluntary.
Perhaps, you’re like many introverts who’ve realized that you don’t have enough fulfilling relationships in your life.
Sure, you have friends that you meet once a month for coffee, or at book club. But no one to call when you just want to talk.
Maybe the people you thought were your friends didn’t withstand the lockdown test.
There wasn’t enough holding you together to make it through the changes and challenges the pandemic created.
After all, your priorities have shifted. You’ve realized who and what matters most to you. Some people and activities made the cut. Some didn’t.
For me, this time has actually allowed me to build and deepen new friendships that I might not have embraced in the Before Times.
Making new REAL friends can be difficult for introverts at the best of times. Luckily, I know a little secret for meeting new people.
You see, a lot of introverts miss the initial stage of making new friends. This stage is crucial, especially if you want meaningful friendships that last.
Stage 1 of making friends
The first stage of making friends occurs before you leave the house. It involves two key factors: intention and opening.
Get clear on what exactly you’re looking for in your friendships and WHY this is important to you.
Once you have a clear picture of your ideal friends in mind, it will be easier to do the next step…
The secret to having the right people just drop into your life is to open your mind to possibilities.
A closed mind sticks to well-worn grooves of thought and action.
It says, “The only way to meet people is to join a Meetup group or club and that didn’t work before, so why bother?”
An open mind sees countless possibilities and thus primes you for opportunities.
Here’s an exercise to open you up to new friendships.
The 3 Ways Method
Ask yourself “what are three ways I can meet my ideal friends?”
Your list might include…
- Start a special interest group
- Take a class
- Tell people I’m looking to make new friends
That last one actually works surprisingly well.
If acquaintances and friends know you’re open to meeting new people they’ll be inclined to invite you to more activities and make introductions.
So, now that you have your three ways, ask yourself “what are three ways I can accomplish each one?”
For example, “What are three ways I can start a special interest group, or three types of groups i could start?”
Before you know it, you’ll have a long list of possibilities to choose from.
At this point, you can highlight the things that seem most appealing and challenge yourself to do at least one this week.
The 3 Ways Method works for anything you want to accomplish.
What are three ways to start my job search?
What are three ways I can execute this project?
What are three ways I can start dating again?
Opportunities come to those who see possibilities. Open your mind and you might be surprised at what shows up in your life.
3 Ways to Make Conversation
If making conversation is something you struggle with as an introvert, be sure to grab my free Introvert Conversation Cheat Sheet.