Being an introvert, I sometimes see life as consisting of a series of hurdles. What many people will take for granted can seem much more daunting when approached from the position of having an insular personality. This is certainly the case when it comes to finding new friends.
I used to find it particularly hard to get to know people. That isn’t to say I have any difficulty actually making genuine friends, as I do have quite a wide friendship circle. But I find I have known most of these people for some time. It’s the cultivation of brand new friendships outside my tight social group I find most daunting.
That was until I discovered the delights of online dating. This is an aspect of matchmaking which has suffered bad press in the past. There were common misconceptions that anyone using a dating site was only doing so because they were unable to get hitched in the real world.
In the first instance, all sorts of people are drawn to these websites, from all walks of life: extroverts, introverts and every type of personality trait in-between. They are doing so, not through any form of desperation, but simply because this is such a convenient avenue for getting to know other people.
Secondly, not everyone approaches these sites in the hope of getting paired up with someone who is going to be a partner, whether that’s a casual relationship or a fully-fledged romance. Many people choose to join these web platforms simply because they represent a fantastic social environment where they can get to meet a diverse range of people, often kindred spirits.
As an introvert who has always struggled opening up to new acquaintances, this was like a breath of fresh air. There were certainly one or two naughty singles who were eager to connect with me intimately. But I decided not to rush into anything like that. After all, when it comes to forging relationships, the onus is very much on yourself as to the extent you embrace the attributes of the dating site.
Since you are operating in the virtual world, you can proceed at your own pace, gradually getting to know other users and finding out all about them. In this way it is possible to gradually develop a sense of chemistry, rather than simply rushing to invite somebody out for drinks and then ending up in the very same bars you grew disillusioned with in the first place!
No, what I prefer to do when I have logged into my account is to enter the chat rooms. They provide a discreet environment where you can introduce yourself and participate in group chats. You can feel free to discuss any subject, as long as you don’t broach anything which is going to be sensitive the other users.
The thought of the offline version of this scenario is enough to make my palms sweat, but when as I find myself growing familiar with the recurring individuals who are always there to welcome me, I get a real buzz. And I can honestly feel my social confidence growing.
I have gotten to know many great individuals. Because we’re talking about the Internet, they are not always local to me. Last night I was having a tremendous conversation about Italian food with a charming female from Naples.
Even as you indulge in escapist chat there is often a frisson of sexual tension in the air. But it is entirely up to you if you want to take anything further. As an introvert, I just love having so much control over my social life.
I think I fell in love with the idea of a group chat for precisely this reason – I can participate from the comfort (and quiet) of my own home and not feel bowled over by a handful of people all talking at once around me.
Chat rooms tend to move too quickly for me though, but I used to enjoy them in my youth.
And yes, I can’t sing the praises of online dating enough, I’ve made some new friends recently thanks to that!