Have you ever been labelled as a shy person? If you’re an introvert like me, chances are that you have, more times than you can count. You see, people tend to think that introversion and shyness are the same thing. They most certainly are not, but I can see why people would be confused.
Introversion and shyness can look a lot alike on the outside. They both prevent people from being as outgoing and social as the average extrovert Joe. The difference is that a shy person stays at home because he’s a afraid of socializing. Meanwhile, the introvert avoids socializing because it drains his energy. Do you see the difference?
Let me put it this way: shyness has to do with fear of socializing, whereas introversion has more to do with where you get your energy. Introverts gain energy from being alone, and lose energy when socializing. So, it’s no wonder that we’d want to sneak away and recharge by ourselves.
The confusing thing is that, although introversion and shyness are not the same thing, they do tend to team up frequently. Many introverts are also shy. If you are both shy and introverted, you have a double dose of reasons not to go to the party. You want to protect yourself from embarrassment and rejection, while also preserving your precious energy.
The good news is that you can overcome shyness by building confidence from the inside out. If you need help with this, I have a series of free introvert confidence lessons to help you raise your self-esteem as an introvert.
Introversion, on the other hand, is not something that needs to be cured or fixed. It’s a personality type that is neither inferior nor superior to extroversion. Introverts can be confident, articulate, and charismatic. We just need to do things in a way that suits our unique needs.
In today’s vlog, I talk more about the difference between shyness and introversion, as I take you on a radio interview, and a night out salsa dancing.It’s another sneak peek into my personal life, and how I navigate this world as an introvert.
I hope you can identify with what I share. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and let me know what you think of this new vlogging style, and what you’d like to see more of.
Lot of love,
Yet another amazing vlog Michaela! 🙂 Beautifully done! It’s so great to hear and see how you are enjoying creating these vlogs, and not to mention the awesomeness of the advice you share. 🙂
Thanks Marko. 🙂
It’s a coincidence… Lately I’m a bit confused with terms too: High Sensitive Person, Introvert and Autism. I’m reading a book about the latter… It states that normal or highly intelligent autists often go through life without ever being diagnosed as such. Due to their intelligence they learn to adapt to the demands of the world quickly as a child: they compensate and camouflage there weakness. It’s a real interesting subject, I think, but still a bit confusing. I had no doubt of being Introverted and HSP, but now I wonder… Could I be a highly adapted autist who learned to use his senses to survive? Fascinating indeed…
So grateful such a site exists. 🙂
I’m both, and it makes my life really hard. Often I can’t even go to the shop, ’cause the cashier is always too chatty. And she’s watching, and smiling. SO creepy. I don’t really like people. 🙂
I learned many years ago that anyone can get over shyness. However, one can never get over being an introvert.
Great to see you dance. You often talk about introverts desiring more connection. I think (after a couple years of West Coast Swing lessons) that dance can bring a form of that. To do it at the level you do requires trust and sensitivity. Being open to the lead and secure enough in yourself to add your embellishments onto it. I’m an improvising musician (jazz and blues) and it’s a similar thing with other good musicians. Creating something that is bigger than all of us by connection and awareness. There’s little space for “small talk” in either of these endeavors. It’s dive in with commitment or don’t do it.
Hi. I’m 62. Every so often, as in today I think about whether I am shy, introverted, both, both, and something else, or something else.
So, in school, there were school dances. But I never went to them. I believe I would have liked to go. But I was afraid people would be looking at me dancing,
I have read that is really a pretty arrogant attitude to have.
I did have a friend in school, and I did speak to classmates. As I got older, I even played football in school.
Later on, I joined a local tennis club. I was part of the tennis committee, but very seldom said anything.
I went to one Christmas party once. There was dancing. But I never got up and danced. Afterwards there were about 4 people left, and I sang a bit.
So obviously I feel more comfortable in small groups.
Although I can remember in the tennis club, in a group of maybe ten people, when I made a few jokes. Another time, there was only maybe 3 or 4, and I barely said anything at all. I guess sometimes I feel more confident than others.
I was in a few writers groups. Once or twice I read my stuff in a public forum. As far as I remember, it didn’t faze me. Years later. I probably could have done it again, but felt more reluctant.
I love hugging people, and have no problem hugging people in public. Although this being able to hug, only happened within the last 5 years or so. It happened when someone hugged me. Nowadays I often initialize a hug. But I will be careful to recognise that not everyone is comfortable with hugging.
I share a house with two people, whom I get on with reasonably well with. But my happiest time was when they went on holidays, and I had the place to myself.
But I believe if i was on my own for an extended period, there would be times, when I would like some company.
Up where I lived, as a youngster, I often played football (soccer), and that was fine.
But afterwards if say a bunch of those kids were standing around chatting, I would not be with them. At the same time, I remember when I would chatting with two or 3 guys. Although I must admit, the others usually did most of the chatting.
I have often gone to the cinema on my own, and didn’t feel embarrassed about it.
I have no real interest in other people’s opinions of me.
Then again, when my landlady pointed out the holes in my clothes, after initially more or less thinking that it was none of her business, I got rid of those clothes.
I might be autistic. But it’s too expensive to find out.
When I was in the tennis club, I never took showers there. But later on, when I joined gyms I did.
It seems that one aspect of one aspect of being an introvert is “feeling emotionally drained after spending time with others” Well I have never felt like that. But maybe you can have bits of being an introvert. Then again maybe it’s all to do with autism.