There are countless reasons why knowing you are an introvert can change your outlook on life. It can make you feel more confident, more at peace with yourself and less alone. It can put an end to constant guilt. Recognizing and understanding your own introversion even has the power to transform the way you live your life.
Before we understood introversion
Lets rewind to a few years or months or days ago when we didn’t understand our introversion. Based on the comments I receive regularly and my own personal experience, this was probably a time of self-doubt and inner conflict. Why? Many introverts are told implicitly or outright that there is something wrong with our behavior.
We felt defeated because we weren’t talkative or outgoing enough. We didn’t understand why we were drained so easily by activities that seem to energize and excite others. We grew up with the extrovert ideal hanging over our heads and we couldn’t help but fall short. All these factors led us to believe that there is something wrong with us.
Before I knew I was an introvert, I really thought that I was an inferior human being. I didn’t understand why I got tired so easily. I felt ashamed that I wasn’t as talkative and outgoing as other people. I thought that I must be a horrible person because I would get grumpy and irritable after a lot of socializing or activity. It didn’t make sense to me. I tried so hard to be a good person, but always ended up feeling inadequate instead.
A personal story
My view of myself completely changed when I took a personal psychology class in university. As part of the class, I took a personality quiz that revealed that I am an introvert. I realized that all those little things that I saw as deficiencies were actually traits that all introverts share. All of a sudden, I wasn’t a freak or a bad person. The missing piece of the puzzle had been found. I was an introvert.
I can remember walking a little taller that day. I smiled at strangers, not because I thought I should, but because I felt happy. Somehow, knowing I was an introvert gave me a feeling of vindication. I realized that I was a good person after all.
A new approach to life
Understanding my introversion has changed my approach to life. I am now more aware of my strengths and limitations. I know that I can’t handle the same amount of social activity as an extrovert. Instead of wasting energy by pretending to be extroverted, I focus on more worthwhile endeavors.
I also feel less guilt about staying in, being the quiet one and enjoying different pastimes than my extroverted friends. I still feel inadequate sometimes, but that is part of being human.
What about you?
Thanks to all who shared how knowing you are an introvert changed your outlook on life on my Facebook Page. I was really inspired by everyone’s answers. If you haven’t already, please do share your personal thoughts and stories related to this topic. I look forward to reading them.
You can also tweet to me on Twitter.
Wear it loud and wear it proud. I’m an introvert!
That’s right Lily!
Indeed. Before i chance upon this website & knowing i am an introvert, i got discouraged about being tired from social activities and that i am a person who needs lots of personal time alone. I just feel so different from the rest. I begun to dislike myself and even force myself to go for activities when i desperately need quiet time alone. Knowing that what i am experiencing is common among introverts, as well as reading articles in this blog, i begin to understand myself better & could plan personal time alone before any activities so that i will be recharged enough to enjoy and give the friends in the activity my best self. I feel less guilty about wanting to spend time alone and start to enjoy being alone after some social aciltivities. I even bought the book “Quiet” to understand introversion & how to cope in this extrovert world.
Hi Joanna, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m so happy that my website has helped you to embrace your introversion. And good for you for making sure that you take care of your introverted needs. I know it’s really hard to get over the guilt of wanting to spend time alone, but it will get easier. xo 🙂
OMG !! YES !! Before I realized I was an introvert I used to think of myself like a really boring person. Usually when I had to go to any reunion I’d see people having fun with each other and I’d think to myself “I’m such a boring person, I can’t have fun like them. I must be stupid or something because I don’t know how to enjoy being in parties (They’re supposed to be fun, right ?)”. But now I know it wasn’t because I was a stupid or boring person, but because at social reunions (and surrounded by so many people) is not where you get exactly the best out of me…
Michaela,
I must first and foremost just say this blog has become my absolute fav place to spend time! It’s like FINALLY I’m not crazy, and everyone “around here” get’s it! Thank you for creating a safe place for fellow innies! Oh and if it makes you feel better, I too had a “burst into tears in front of extroverts” experience… it involved role playing exercises at work in front of the VICE PRESIDENT of the company…SMH… needless to say it was not pretty.
Many thank yous again for this wonderful blog!
CB
Hi Cici! You’re very welcome. It brings me a lot of joy to know that this is a safe place for you and other innies to feel understood and accepted.
Your “burst into tears in front of extroverts” experience sounds mortifying! On the bright side, if you survived that, you can survive anything. 😉
Hello, i just find that i am an introvert (27 and i hope its not too late). It was a jungle before i know i am one by nature. I tried so hard to follow the fast pace of the extroverted world, but deep inside i was so tired with all the efforts and feel awkward because i have none to share the deep thoughts. Also made me asked some questions to myself. It was hurting me to assumed i am a boring, weird or another bad names, compared to my “lady-killer” friends who speak to ladies without doubts. Well, its now peace in mind, to know i’m not alone and we, introverts have great qualities too, we just have our own ways. 🙂
Good to hear that you are seeing yourself in a new light, Aj! xo
Everything changed in an instant. I have been so depressed, in so much pain and completeley defeated. I am 37 and have spent the last several years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why is everything I do and feel wrong. I could find nothing good or right or special about me. I lost all confidence, all self-esteem all self worth, not that I ever really much of it to begin with. I have been comparing every single thing I do and feel to other people. Questioning why I am so uterly messed up person. I had been searching desperately for answers. I began to believe that there was almost nothing right or good or interesting about me and I had to figure out every single bad thing about myseld and then try to figure out how to change everything about me, the way I thought, the way did I did things, everything and it took me to a deep dark place where I was so overwhelmed by the fact that so much, practically everything, about me was bad or wrong and I had to fix it all and change who I was and to make matters worse I had no idea where to begin fixing it all, it was so painful and overwhelming. I had no answers but I was determined and convinced that I had to do something. No one likes me. I dont like me. Why cant I make friends? Why am I afraid to go to work every day? Why does doing anything unfamiliar or new make me so anxious? Why cant I have conversations with people like everyone else? Why is it so hard to express my feelings? Why do I question and doubt my every move and my own thoughts? I just needed answers and some how I was determined to change it all so I could feel like and be like everyone else. My days are spent trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was physically sick from the stress and pressure I was putting on myself. I began to lose more and more of my hair and I had no way to stop myself from stressing or worrying. That is who I am, its what I do. Its how my mind works. There was nothing I could say about myself that was good. I was even accused by someone I love very much of being self centered. Me selfish too? That just topped it all off. I just thought I was the right thing, what I was supposed to do and that was to accept that everything about me had to change in order to be a good person and I had to do it alone. No one seemed to understand what I was going through. Even when I tried to explain it, I couldnt. I coulnt put anything into words. I tried again and again only to fail at yet another thing. It was just one more thing about me that I couldnt do right. I realize that Ive repeated myself several times and even that is making me feel stupid. I cant even articulate my own feelings and I am failing miserably at getting to the point. Oh boy this ia gonna take time to fully understand. My life began yesterday, December 29, 2016 when I stumbled across a story online written by an introvert, that explained exactly who I am and why I am the way I am. This person said that there is nothing wrong with me and I believed it. Exroverts are not better than other people. We are just wired different. I am not less of a person because I dont like to socialize, Im not popular, I am quiet or prefer to be alone. Infact when this person described what it meant to be an introvert it sounded like a person I would see as strong, intelligent, unique, interesting, someone with confidence and someone who really knew who they were and why. As I read the description I finally for the first time in my life felt I knew who I was. An introvert. I thi k differently, I see things differently and there is nothong wrong with me. My journy begins. I can see content and joy as being obtainable now. I dont feel alone.
Before I knew that I was an introvert, I was convinced that I was depressed. My psychologist deemed me as such, and so I just accepted that. I thought that I would be “depressed” my entire life. I thought that I was flawed, a failure and inadequate, to say the very least. Michaela, Introvert Spring has made such an impact on my life and has given me such freedom. Knowing that I am not depressed, not inadequate, not alone, and not the only INFJ who struggles the way that I do makes all the difference. Thank you for all that you do.