How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

How To Explain Your Introverted Personality To Others

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t understand us introverts. For many extroverts, the introverted personality makes about as much sense as Snapchat does to my grandma. Even fellow introverts might be confused about what it means to be introverted. With all the ignorance out there about introversion, the thought of explaining our personality is daunting, to say the least. Still, we introverts want and need to be understood on a deeper level, especially by those we care about. Sure, showing the people we love an article like this one will do the trick sometimes. But I have to be honest, there comes a time when we all have to speak up about our introverted personality in real life, with real words (no emojis). And it isn’t always easy. It’s tough explaining our introverted personality to people who’ve been conditioned to think of introversion as an inferior personality type, or even a dysfunction. Case in point: This story will piss you off A while ago I did a radio interview for The Candy Palmater Show. During our discussion, Candy shared an experience that had introverts (including myself) across the nation shaking their heads in disgust. She recalled a workshop she attended in which the presenter talked about different personality types. The presenter wrote the words “introvert” and “extrovert” on the board, and then did the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the absolutely unforgivable … He drew a big huge X over “introvert” and circled “extrovert”. His message was loud and clear: introversion is the inferior personality type. All who want to succeed should strive for extroversion. As infuriating as this...
Why Introverts Hate Group Conversations

Why Introverts Hate Group Conversations

Group conversations are, and always have been, a pain in the ass for me. They make me feel awkward, inhibited, and totally out of my element. As a fellow introvert, maybe you can relate? You know what it’s like to wonder what to say and when to say it. You wait for a pause so you can share your thoughts, but it never comes. So, you stay quiet. Then comes the worst part … “Why are you so quiet?” they ask, as if it weren’t the most annoying question in the history of annoying questions. You already felt weird for not knowing what to say. Now, you’re also embarrassed that others have noticed. If you’ve ever experienced the above scenario, you are all too familiar with the PAIN of group conversations for introverts. You’ll also probably relate to my disdain for work lunchrooms, and small talk. So, how can little ol’ introverted me become an ace at group conversations? How can I be that person who always knows what to say, and when to say it. The one who tells long hilarious stories, and commands the conversation like a boss. To be honest, I probably can’t — at least not on a consistent basis. Now, before you get all “you can do anything you put your mind to” on me, hear me out. Why it’s so hard Group conversations work against, rather than with, an introvert’s strengths. They overwhelm us, and don’t give us enough time to think about what we want to say. Asking an introvert to command a group conversation (in a social setting, not a meeting) is...
Why Lunchtime Sucks For Introverts

Why Lunchtime Sucks For Introverts

Lunch hour is often the most dreaded time of day for introverts. Contrary to what you might think, our secret lunchtime anxieties have nothing to do with food. See if this scenario sounds familiar: It’s break time at the office, which means you have one hour to chow down, and relax. If you work in a job that requires a lot of talking and dealing with people, you desperately need this time to recharge and fortify yourself against the day ahead. But there’s one problem. For other people, lunch hour is all about catching up with coworkers. Your extroverted colleagues congregate together, and engage in one of the most offensive pastimes to an introvert. Small talk. For extroverts, chatting with others is replenishing. For introverts, not so much. Over the years, we’ve come up with all sorts of sneaky ways to avoid small talk. When it comes to lunchtime at work, you’ll likely see us doing one of the following: Hiding behind a book, and doing everything in our power to avoid eye contact with other humans. Sneaking off to a secluded area of the office where we munch away in sweet solitude. Escaping the office all together and wandering the nearby streets or stores in the hopes that we won’t see anyone we know. Don’t get me wrong, introverts are not necessarily anti-social. And we might really like our coworkers. But small talk is NOT how we want to spend our precious one-hour lunch break. Instead of replenishing us, as it does extroverts, lunchtime chit chat drains us. How to make lunchtime less sucky First of all, let go...
Introvert: Stop saying yes to sh*t you hate

Introvert: Stop saying yes to sh*t you hate

We introverts tend to say yes to a lot of things out of guilt. Can you blame us? We feel enormous pressure to fit into a culture that worships extroversion. More specifically, we feel pressure to be outgoing busybodies with a packed social calendar. The desire to keep up with the extrovert ideal drives introverts to say yes to all sorts of things we hate. What we risk by saying no We secretly believe that if we say no, our life could start to unravel. We imagine saying no will lead our coworkers to think we’re mean, lazy, or (gasp!) genuinely too busy to do their job for them. Our acquaintances will realize how unloveable and despicable we really are and create a secret club that gathers weekly for the sole purpose of talking behind our back. Our chance at real success – the kind that involves money, admiration, and endless attention on Twitter – could be lost forever. These are just a few of the irrational fears that keep us from saying no to shit we hate. The truth is that saying no to needless obligations frees up time and energy for more worthwhile things. You know, like activities we actually enjoy, and benefit from. The most common no’s for introverts The things we secretly want to say no to vary from one introvert to the next. Our list often includes social obligations, such as happy hour with coworkers, or holiday parties. Perhaps, we’re dying to say no to community obligations, like strata meetings, or fundraising efforts. Parents might feel the urge to say no to heading up the next school bake sale, or book drive. Many of us desperately want to say no to work opportunities...
Introvert: Is Your Voice Attractive? Free Training

Introvert: Is Your Voice Attractive? Free Training

We all know introverts are quiet. But that doesn’t mean we always want to stay silent. Sometimes, our voice – the very thing that is meant to help us communicate – prevents connection. If our eyes are the window to the soul, our voice is the doorway.  For introverts, it often feels more like a narrow gate through which words may or may not sneak out. How To Achieve An Attractive Voice Like many introverts, I’ve struggled to achieve my most natural and confident voice. Rather than using my most attractive voice, I made the BIG mistake many introverts make, which actually strained my vocal cords. Since then I’ve learned that achieving an attractive voice is easy when you know a few key secrets. I also see what I was doing wrong. I recognize why I was unknowingly losing energy and confidence by misusing my voice. In this Wednesday’s F-R-E-E webinar, you’ll learn all about the big vocal mistake I was making PLUS the secrets to sounding incredible as an introvert. **UPDATE: The webinar is now over, but you can access Roger’s Free vocal training videos here. Charismatic Voice Training For Introverts This Wednesday April 27th at 1pm Pacific, celebrity vocal coach Roger Love and I will teach introverts how to develop undeniable confidence and charisma through the power of the voice. Best of all, we’ll show you how to do it in your own introverted way. In the F-R-E-E Charismatic Voice Training For Introverts webinar, you’ll discover: The big mistake most introverts make with their voice + how to avoid it 3 Simple steps for introverts to develop an irresistibly confident...
Amy Schumer – The Most Surprising Introvert Celebrity

Amy Schumer – The Most Surprising Introvert Celebrity

Of all the introvert celebrities who seem anything BUT introverted, Amy Schumer tops the list. In her hit show Inside Amy Schumer, as well as her movie Trainwreck, which she wrote and starred in, Schumer seems like the definition of an extrovert. Amy Schumer is outspoken and refreshingly (and sometimes shockingly) unfiltered. Her Trainwreck costar, Tilda Swinton, described her as an “honesty bomb”. Others say she is just plain crude. One thing that no one would ever describe Amy Schumer as is “introverted”. How could someone with such an over-the-top sense of humour be an introvert? Is Amy Schumer Really An Introvert? The most basic definition of an introvert is someone who gains energy from being alone and loses energy in stimulating environments, such as parties, and crowds. We usually see introvert celebrities, such as Amy Schumer, in the spotlight when they’re ‘getting their extrovert on’. But we forget that most artists – whether they be actors, writers, or musicians – spend a lot of time creating and rehearsing behind the scenes. Many introvert celebrities spend countless hours observing their surroundings for inspiration. Then they close the door so they can open their mind to creative ideas. I imagine that memorizing lines is a solo activity, too. As is composing music, or writing a stand-up routine. Amy Schumer is probably a social introvert. She likes to get out there and mix and mingle when she has the energy, but also needs plenty of alone time to recharge. She is also a confident introvert. Her confidence makes many people assume that she is an extrovert. This is because introversion is often confused with...

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