Do you ever feel so lonely it hurts? Feeling lonely as an introvert is especially frustrating because we want and need our alone time. We like spending time solo, but we have our limits. There comes a point when we feel isolated. We want to connect, but there’s something stopping us.
We’ve settled so deeply into the well-worn groove of our own isolation that we feel stuck there. In other words, we get in a loneliness rut, and we don’t know how to reconnect.
The especially frustrating part is that being around people can be incredibly draining for introverts. This leaves us unmotivated to reach out and make plans.
The first step to stop feeling lonely
I’ve been there, and I’ve discovered that there is one key step to stop feeling lonely. It’s so obvious when you think of it, but it’s something we innies tend to ignore.
After all, we are strong, independent introverts. We don’t want to admit, even to ourselves, that we are feeling lonely and need more love and connection in our life.
In today’s brand new vlog, I explain why introverts can feel lonelier when we are around people than when we are by ourselves. I also share how I overcame the loneliness cycle, and the first step for you to to the same — even if you’re a hardcore introvert like me.
This is the most personal vlog I’ve ever made. In it I get a little vulnerable, and reveal things I haven’t shared even with my close friends.
Watch it and find out the REAL reason I recently moved back to my hometown of Ottawa, Canada. I also take you along as I do a weird morning ritual, explore my new neighbourhood, and go to the beach with my best friend.
It’s another sneak peek into my personal life. I hope it makes you feel less lonely, and inspires you to live life on your own blissfully innie terms!
Ready to connect? I help introverts make real friends in my Small Talk Quickies Masterclass.
Discover everything you need to turn boring small talk into interesting conversations — without overwhelm.
Go here to find out if Small Talk Quickies is right for you
Xo,
An wonderful combination of an relaxing, insightful vlog, with deep, meaningful advice. 🙂 You did it again Michaela, marvelously done! 🙂
Michaela, I second what Marko said. Very well done. So glad not alone in my feelings! Thanks for opening up and reminding us that even introverts need people just as much as we need alone time.
Thanks so much Tiona! <3
Everything I’ve gone through I’m currently going through. The random loneliness, the isolation, going back to a place that doesn’t complete me. Incredible. Let’s talk more.
You used idubbz’s ‘Content Cop’ theme at the very beginning- love it!
It’s so nice to understand why we feel this way so we can do something about it. Thank you for this video!
What a beautiful post you made Michaela. Every time I read about your life advices, it makes me feel that I’m not alone in this world. 🙂
I’m a 16 year old, recently moved to my new school lately and it feels terrifying! Feeling like a misfit, even from my old school, made me felt a lot of self-doubt and even feelings of loneliness oftetly! It’s really a tough obstacle to overlook! Your posts made me feel inspired of telling myself to stay true to myself in this new generation of society and I feel happy that you’re part of this world. Keep out making beautiful and amazing posts! ?
Thus is me. I cried the whole time I watched it. I never realized this is me until I moved from my hometown to a new city. Only married a year (second marriage).
I’ve never had problems making friends but I feel like I don’t fit in – anywhere.
I’m depressed and not sure what to do.
Hi Jennifer,
I know it’s been a month since you commented – how are you doing? I find myself in the same situation, and wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. *hugs* There’s no right answer on what to do – Meetups are often exercises in frustration and draining yourself, and isolation is just as bad. I don’t really have any answers, but I’m happy to talk to you if you’d like.
I needed this video today! I’m pretty much 100% “I” on the Myers-Briggs – an INFJ/INFP hybrid 🙂 Deeply introverted, but desirous of genuine friendship.
I had a couple good friends in my old town who made me feel as connected and understood as Joy obviously makes you feel, but moved to a much bigger metro recently to be with the one I love (I fell head over heels for my dearest friend, who had himself been in love with me for 15 years! So far it’s working out incredibly well!), and since I work from home too, I’ve been more isolated than I’ve ever been.
So commences the cycle of Meetups/even greater loneliness, when you feel that you put yourself out there, give up your valued free time, and spend money at a pub or restaurant only to receive no substantive connection whatsoever. Often you run into people who are simultaneously aggressively and blandly extroverted – an assault to the senses (also, how do they even manage this?!) Augh! I know it’s a necessary evil upon moving to an entirely new place. Next up, we’re going to try board game meetups – likelier to draw the nerds, the introverts, the science fiction lovers, and perhaps the ISTJs and INTJs (which is what my fiance is). Maybe this will be a better strategy. What else can we do but keep trying? I’ll report back – hang in there, my fellow innies!
As a Myers-Briggs INTJ introvert I love the cold frozen landscapes of winter, the quietness broken only by the cry of Rooks and Crows, the loneliness of winter is comfort and beauty merged. The deep thoughts and dreams consume me. Alone but not lonely.