Are you one of the many innies who never quite feels good enough? Perhaps, you try to earn love through constant striving and perfectionism?
Maybe there’s a little voice inside you that says you’ll never be smart, successful, pretty, or outgoing enough to deserve love—even from yourself.
You string yourself along, offering up crumbs of self-love only when you’ve been ‘good’.
This is like putting your soul on a starvation diet. When you don’t get the love you need from yourself there are side effects.
Shame, and guilt creep in. Shame over falling short of the insanely high standards you place on yourself. Guilt for not living up to the extrovert ideal.
Many innies have a subconscious belief that to be loveable is to be extroverted.
You may think your introverted traits, like quietness and sensitivity, make you less deserving of love.
So how do you break the cycle?
How do you stop trying to earn love, and start loving yourself even when you’re imperfect?
I’ll be honest, there are many steps involved in cultivating true self-love, but there is one component that is especially crucial for introverts:
Introverts who have a tendency to overthink—which is pretty much all of us—usually focus on deficits. You think of what you didn’t do or say or achieve.
The secret to breaking this habit is to acknowledge what you are doing right. When I say “right” I don’t mean perfectly.
Acknowledge the actions you take, even if they’re small.
Acknowledge the efforts you make, even when you’re tired.
Acknowledge your progress, even if you didn’t do everything on your to-do list.
Here’s a challenge for you
At the end of the day, take a moment to mentally acknowledge what you did that day. You can also write it down in your journal.
For example, you could acknowledge that you made a phone call you’d been putting off, or that you made time to exercise.
Taking small steps like the above acknowledgment exercise can make a big difference.
And it’s worth it because your self-love levels influence every aspect of your life, including your ability to allow in romantic love, success, money, friendship, and happiness.
That’s why my next post will help you to continue on your self-love journey. Click below to read the other articles in the self-love series:
The Sneakiest Introvert Self-Love Killer
6 Ways Introverts Sabotage Their Happiness (+What to Do Instead)
The style of your writing,the way you present your thoughts in a very simple and elegant way,is truly amazing.
You really get through the heart of the introverts❤️
Thanks, with your help, I’m really starting to embrace myself as an introvert.
Keep writing 😊
I’m so glad I stumbled across Introverted Spring. So incredibly insightful. Ty.
what’s the difference between self-love and self-acceptance and does it the some and that work for the tow
Thank you, Michaela. I needed this message today. Feeling unloveable for sooo long. Taking acknowledgement baby-steps. Working on tryna go little to contact with an abusive parent, grief, career life reinvention and hoping to relocate to a safe place where I can really heal. You are like a lifeline to me to me. Whew..ty for letting me vent. 🙂