“In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” -John Mulaney
Isn’t that quote just so true? We introverts love to get out of plans we weren’t too excited about in the first place. And it’s not just because we love being alone at home. Solitude is great, but there are other reasons introverts would often rather stay home than go out and mix and mingle. Because here’s the thing.
Even if you genuinely want to connect with people, and possibly make new friends, as an introvert, you face so many challenges when socializing. There are really countless reasons for an introvert to dread going out and meeting new people. But I’ve narrowed it down to 4 introvert friendship blocks.
Let me know if you can relate in the comments. 🙂
4 Introvert Friendship Blocks
Social overwhelm
A lot of people mislabel introverts as anti-social. The term “selectively social” is more accurate. The truth is that socializing can be incredibly overwhelming and draining for introverts.
Trouble letting people in
As much as you might want to open up and get close to people, you put up walls that make it seem impossible. You feel frustrated that you can’t just “loosen up” like everyone tells you to, and truly let people in.
Feelings of unworthiness
Deep down, you may feel unworthy of the beautiful, accepting friendships that you long for. It’s not your fault. Introverts grow up feeling like there’s something wrong with us. But being an introvert is something to be proud of. The real problem is that you’ve been following the wrong extrovert-biased advice on making friends.
Trouble maintaining friendships
Like most introverts, you find it tricky to balance your need for alone time with your need for connection. You keep people at arms length, and forget to keep in touch.
Just recognizing these sneaky friendship blocks and knowing that it’s not your fault makes things easier.
It’s not wrong to want something real
Also, know that it’s not wrong to want to socialize in a way that feels good to you. You don’t have to slug your way through constant small talk with people who don’t know how to truly listen.
When you stop listening to extrovert-biased advice that drains the heck out of you, and start working with your introverted needs, it all gets easier.
My free Introvert Connection Guide gives you 7 steps to make friends in your own introverted way.
Which friendship block do you relate to most? Feel free to share in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you! 🙂
Love,
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How to Talk About Yourself as an Introvert
6 Ways Introverts Approach Socializing Differently
How to Make Friends You Actually Like as an Introvert
If an Introvert Opens Up to You, It Means You’re Special
Wow, you really hit the nail on the head with these great tips. I’m hooked.
Remembering to keep in touch. I really do forget about people that I would love to keep in touch with, I just don’t think that way. I realized that a lot of people have kept friendships from all through their life, even when they change circumstances. I used to want to be like that. Just not me.
You’re so right.. i am so bad at maintaining friendships.. i forget to keep in touch with people !! It’s so hard for me..!!
I think deep down inside I have a feeling of being unworthy of other people’s friendships. But I also have lived long enough to know that I like the freedom I have with fewer friendships. Each person who is a friend equals one more obligation to stay in touch or hang out with at some point. And I don’t feel like the energy drain anymore. I like the idea of keeping my own company and that of my wife and two sons when they have time and not putting myself out to all of these other people that I used to have in my life.
Longing for deep, on-going friendships, but forgetting to be in touch. That is me. I want to become a more committed and active friend.
Yes I can relate. I have been hurt time and time again taking people’s advice.