Introverts don’t open up to just anyone. If we let you in, it means you’re special. Not everyone gets to see the many layers of our personality. In fact, sometimes, we can seem like two different people in one body.
Around people we don’t know very well, we find it hard to open up. To them, we might come off as aloof, cold, or one-dimensional.
These acquaintances love to point out how “serious”, “quiet”, and “calm” we are. And sure, we might be all those things, but what they don’t realize is that we are also so much more.
Our besties know that we are a treasure trove of awesomeness. Around them, we share all the little nuances of our personality: our pet peeves, our sense of humour, our eccentricities. We also feel comfortable sharing our secret wild side, or our silly side.
It might have taken years to get to this level of comfort with our closest friends. After all, we don’t go flashing the underpants of our personality at just anyone. We need to know that a person is accepting, loyal, and trustworthy.
So many beautiful layers
But once we trust someone, man, are they in for a lifetime of surprises. The introvert personality is like a present that you unwrap again and again. Just when you think you’ve discovered everything there is to know, you find another unexpected layer.
Acquaintances will never understand this because they only see one dimension of our personality. We’re usually okay with this. But sometimes we meet someone new, who we really do want to open up to. It’s painful to desperately want to connect, but feel like we just can’t get past our own walls. Don’t lose hope, dear!
Here are some tips to open up to someone new:
Take a step-by-step approach.
Gradually share more about who you are and what’s important to you. You can start with simple things, like your likes and dislikes. Later, you can share relevant stories and experiences, and eventually you’ll feel comfortable being more vulnerable and sharing your secret fears, and dreams.
Don’t wait for an invitation.
We introverts spend a lot of time wishing that people would ask us just the right questions, so that we can open up. Go ahead and share without invitation.
Drop non-verbal clues.
Talking isn’t the only way to share who you are. This is good news for quiet introverts, who often get tongue-tied. You can drop non-verbal hints about what’s important to you through your clothing, hobbies, art, and overall vibe.
If you need more help opening up in conversation, my Small Talk Quickies Masterclass will give you everything you need to …
1) optimize your brain for creative conversations
2) smoothly turn small talk into interesting conversation
3) survive all the holiday socializing, and actually connect.
As part of my Blogmas festivities (daily blogs until December 25th), I’m putting my post popular introvert courses on special. Right now you can get Small Talk Quickies for less. Go here to get my small talk tools for less.
It’s okay to be selective
Remember that it’s okay to be selective with whom you open up. The important thing is that you let someone in. After all, you can’t let your beautiful gift of a personality go unwrapped. Give someone the chance to delight in your many layers.
Over to you
Are you selective about who you open up to? Share your thoughts in the comments below if you please!
The cartoon in today’s post was yet another little gem done by my nephew, Brandon Chung. 😉