misunderstand introverts

Introverts are unassuming observers who understand deeply, but rarely feel understood. This is annoying, to say the least. It sucks to feel like the puzzle no one will ever solve. Most people don’t even bother trying. But there is hope.

Over the past few years, there’s been an introvert revolution. More and more people have heard about the true definition of an introvert — someone who gains energy from being in solitude and loses energy in stimulating environments.

With greater understanding comes greater acceptance. Finally, people are starting to see that introversion is not an affliction that needs to be cured or fixed. Introverts are awesome just the way we are. But not everyone gets it yet.

There are still some lost souls out there who misunderstand introverts in the most annoying ways. Hopefully, this blog post will help set the record straight.

7 Annoying Ways People Misunderstand Introverts

1. They misinterpret our quietness

Every introvert has heard the question, “why are you so quiet?’ more times than we can count. And it gets more annoying every time we hear it! Most of the time, people misinterpret our quietness. They think we’re angry, depressed, or just plain snobby. But it’s usually none of the above.

An introvert’s brain processes more information at a time than an extrovert’s. Going quiet and retreating into our imagination gives our brain the chance to rest and reset. We also don’t like talking if we don’t have anything meaningful to say.  Introverts hate small talk, so we’d rather stay quiet than pollute the airspace with superficial chatter.

Irresistible Introvert

2. They underestimate our intelligence

Unfortunately, in today’s extrovert-biased society, people confuse outspokenness with confidence and intelligence. But he who speaks the loudest is not necessarily the smartest. Introverts may not say much, but we have a universe of creative ideas inside our head. While our extroverted coworkers shout out the first thoughts that come to their head, we tend to take our time and only share fully formed ideas

3. They think we need them to speak for us

Hey, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes it can be great to have a talkative extrovert on your side. They can keep conversations afloat when an introvert’s energy levels start sinking. But sometimes they take it too far.

They misinterpret our word economy as an invitation to speak over and above us. They might also speak for us in group conversations, assuming we can’t speak up for ourselves. This can make introverts feel belittled. Trust that we can speak for ourselves if we want to.

4. They think our silence is an invitation

Conversations get tiring for introverts. Even listening can be exhausting, especially if our conversation partner speaks quickly and doesn’t pause. After a while, we may want to slow down, and enjoy a few moments of silence. Unfortunately, people see our lack of response as an invitation to keep talking…and talking…and talking. Please. Just stop.

Irresistible Introvert

5. They assume we’re shy

Introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy because shyness has to do with a fear of social interactions. Introversion, on the other hand, has more to do with where you get your energy.

6. They think we have no backbone

Just because introverts are calm and soft spoken, doesn’t make us pushovers. Introverts can be confident and assertive, sometimes surprisingly so. Don’t misinterpret our gentle nature as a sign of weakness. Introverts can be as bold and courageous as any extrovert.

7. They misread our facial expressions

Let’s face it, most introverts have a resting b*tch face. People think our pinched expression is a sign that we are silently judging them. Or that we are mad at them. Or just plain grumpy. Nope. We’re just quietly planning your demise. ?

Just kidding, an introvert’s resting b*tch face is just our default expression when we are daydreaming.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I shared today. Feel free to comment below. 🙂



Michaela Chung

P.S. If you’re new to the blog, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Michaela Chung, author of The Irresistible Introvert and creator of this amazing innie community we have here. For several years, I’ve been building up a labyrinth of introvert resources that will take you on a magical journey toward more confidence, connection, and self-love. Start the journey here.