Do you ever feel uncomfortable talking about yourself? You’re not alone. A lot of introverts feel weird sharing about ourselves.
Your really extroverted friends don’t seem to have this problem. They can go on and on about their life, their problems, what they ate for lunch. And maybe you can, too, when you’re with your nearest and dearest.
But in many situations, it just feels icky to talk about yourself. You feel like you’ll come off as self-absorbed. Or you worry that you’ll bore the person. So you choose to stay quiet. You wonder…
Should I talk more about myself?
You also wonder how much to share. You don’t want to go overboard and be like that annoying guy who can’t shut-up about himself. Here’s the thing.
If you feel weird talking about yourself then chances are you’re not sharing enough. By ‘enough’ I mean the right amount to provide ample fodder to keep the conversation moving, provide connection points, and pique the person’s interest.
Here are three quick tips to remember when talking about yourself:
1. It’s not what you say, but how you FRAME it.
Instead of just sharing a bland fact about yourself, or what you did on the weekend, tell the person how you FEEL about what you’re sharing: love it, hate it, regret it, overjoyed by it.
2. See it as a badminton match.
Once you’ve shared a story, experience, or opinion, lob the conversation birdy back to your partner by saying something like, “what are your thoughts?” or “have you ever experienced something similar?”
*I specifically chose badminton instead of tennis because a birdy travels more slowly across the court. It’s a gentler sport, just like introvert conversations.
3. Remember that sharing is caring.
A lot of introverts think that talking about themselves is selfish. The opposite is true! When you share you give your conversation partner something to work with.
It’s exhausting trying to keep a conversation afloat when someone is only giving you yes and no answers. Show the other person you care by putting some skin in and talking about yourself.
I hope you found these tips helpful. For more tips on how to connect and make friends as an introvert, get my free 50-page Introvert Connection Guide.
Til we meet again, dear.
Xo,
I’m new to your blog and I love it! I’m 52 years old and have always felt different, like the odd duck, and of course, that is reinforced by so-called social norms. Except for one brief 3 yr. marriage in my thirties, when I was still trying to fit into “normal” society, I’ve been single all my life. Screw “normal”. I suffered tremendously and went through a lot of pain before I understood that I was an introvert. Although I now accept and love myself, I understand that part of this is that I’ll be very lonely at times. It’s simply fact that most people, men and women alike, don’t “get” me, so I have few friends. At the same time, I refuse to contort myself into something I’m not just to have more “friends”. So, yes, I guess you could say I’d rather be lonely than fake. I believe that as long as I continue to be true to myself and my being an introvert, that those who are sensitive and observant to my type will find me. Thank you, Michaela. Your blog has touched me and helped me see.