I’m lazy as a piglet in mud today. Still in pjs, but somehow motivating myself to write this post for the greater good of all introvertkind. You see, today I’m talking about a personal pet peeve that I know most introverts will be all too familiar with.
THIS is what’s wrong with communication today
This little conversation pet peeve has become a BIG problem in today’s impatient society.
I’m talking about what I like to call “conversation crowding”. A person with a habit of conversation crowding leaves no room for pauses or even a moment to breathe.
These people feel the need to constantly fill the airspace, mostly with their own voice.
It doesn’t matter that their conversation topics are as deep as city puddles. They just need to keep the chatter going. And here’s the most annoying part…
Don’t you just HATE when people do this?
Conversation crowders mislead you into believing that they want to have a real conversation by asking you lots of questions.
But when you start to answer, they don’t really listen. They pounce at the edges of your words, as if in a race to complete your sentences.
Why bother asking if you weren’t going to listen, anyway? You silently wonder, as you start to shift into self-protection mode: guards up, resting bitch face on.
The sad thing is that many of these conversations could really fly if the conversation crowder would just give your sentences some elbow room.
Give me some word space, would you?!
The facilitator at a New Agey conscious entrepreneur event I went to last week said it best when he invited people to practice “spaciousness” in conversation.
When you give people space in conversation, you allow them to fully complete their thought, without interrupting them.
You focus on truly listening, instead of thinking of what you’re going to say next. You ask a question and give the person space to give a thoughtful answer.
Oh, doesn’t that sound like bliss? Yes, we need more spaciousness in our conversations!
Conversation crowders need not apply
These days I don’t waste much time with conversation crowders. I’ve realized that there are people, both introverts and extroverts, who know how to listen.
These are the people I choose to invest my precious energy in. But it took a while to get here.
For many years, I forced myself to try to make it work with conversation crowders. I think it was some kind of subconscious atonement for my introverted quietness.
I thought I deserved to be talked over and interrupted because I had a slower, more thoughtful way of communicating.
Nowadays, I see conversation crowding as a red flag. Even if someone is nice and well-intentioned, I choose not to pursue a friendship with them if they are incapable of giving me space to finish my sentences.
It’s wonderful to finally realize that I have a choice! I don’t have to force myself to spend time with people who make me feel drained and frustrated. Progress.
It took a long time to get to this place of social confidence. The friendship and conversation tools I share in my courses played a huge part. That’s why I do what I do, boo. 😉 Speaking of which…
Free Introvert Confidence Lessons
If you’re looking to build social confidence and make real friends as an introvert, get my free Introvert Confidence Lessons.