6 Experiences Only INFJs Will Understand

6 Experiences Only INFJs Will Understand

There are some things that only INFJs understand. We are rare, and others just don’t get our unique experiences. I know, I get it, I’m an INFJ, too, and sometimes I feel like no one understands what I’m going through. That’s why, in a rush of emotions, I’ve gathered several experiences that only INFJs can understand. 6 experiences only INFJs will understand: 1. We always care. INFJs always care, we can’t help it. An INFJ will even risk his or her own well-being in the process of caring. But all too often, people take advantage of this and we end up getting hurt. A classic example is when we believe we are annoying someone we cherish by caring too much, so we feel guilty (and overthink it), which brings me to my next point … 2. Inner Guilt. I’ve been overcome with guilt more times than I can count. Only INFJs will understand this inner feeling because it has a unique meaning for us. When you send a message to your friend, you might feel guilty and think you are bothering him or her. Or when you believe you said something wrong, you spend days repeating the scenario over and over again in your mind. 3. Self-Sabotage. Even when everything is going well, our INFJ mind actively seeks for ways to sabotage things. It’s like our brain looks for a self-destruct button when experiencing happiness. It’s the same old story when we accomplish something. INFJs have a bad habit of putting down our own success because it’s strange to us that things are actually going well. 4. Loneliness in...
INFJ Personality: I Plan Everything

INFJ Personality: I Plan Everything

Hi INFJ friend, I’m writing to you from a very special place today. It’s a location well known to the INFJ personality, one where we often seek refuge: our mind. However, it can be pretty chaotic in there. Trust me, I know. Think of the INFJ mind as an internet browser with 50 tabs opened and dozens of applications running at the same time. But where there’s chaos, there is the opportunity for order and planning. And planning is where INFJs excel. I Plan Everything It’s almost unthinkable for an INFJ personality to leave something to chance. Sure, we know how to improvise, but we’re in our own element when we carefully plan our course of action. The best example of this is our future and where we want to be. We are idealists, so what lies ahead is our primary focus, especially planning for it. I have yet to meet an INFJ who wants to live day by day. Planning is a part of who we are. Let me give you my personal example not many people know about. There’s this journal I’ve had for two years now. In it, I write my goals. But these are not just some random scribbles. In this journal, I plan my next steps in life, months and years in advance. Because of our visionary trait, it’s not that hard for an INFJ personality to “predict” our own future. It’s partly because when we decide to do something, it will be done, period. It’s not a question of “if”, it’s just a matter of time. And for INFJs, there’s no better time...
Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

If there’s one thing INFJs don’t like, it’s conflict. Our personality is peaceful by nature, and everything that even resembles conflict we avoid by default. INFJs are diplomats with a kind and understanding heart. We believe that every situation can be resolved without conflict. However, in order to handle and face an INFJ conflict, we must first recognize where it comes from. The inner INFJ conflict Conflict only gives birth to unnecessary harsh language and actions. It fuels negative energy among people. Just imagine the effects it can have on extroverts. Now multiply that by a hundred when it comes to INFJs. You might think that because I’m a certified INFJ coach and a writer, I’m in complete control over every INFJ conflict situation I face. However, the truth is… I easily get scared when facing conflict. I often thought that walking away was always the best solution. That’s exactly what I did. But I only made the situation worse. For years I blamed myself for being bullied in high school, never allowing myself to acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I thought I was the source of conflict because I was quiet and always buried deeply in my books. Humiliation became my everyday routine during the four years of high school, because I was afraid of starting a situation that could potentially turn into a conflict. It wasn’t until I graduated that I realized how wrong I was for thinking it was my fault. I discovered that conflict doesn’t come from the outside. It comes firstly from within. In one of my favorite INFJ conflict examples, I’ll demonstrate how...
The Top 10 INFJ Careers

The Top 10 INFJ Careers

Dear INFJ friend, Choosing the top INFJ careers that will satisfy all our needs is not easy. It’s a hard road filled with obstacles. We are unique, so not all jobs are suitable for our rare personality. INFJs excel in many areas. There’s a reason why we are called advocates, diplomats, counselors, and healers. INFJs are the perfect negotiators. Despite all our amazing gifts, it’s not easy to find the best INFJ careers. That’s why I’ve put together the a list of the top 10 INFJ careers for you. I made an infographic, too, which I’ll share a bit later in this article, but first I want to talk about why it’s so tough for INFJs to find the right career. The INFJ careers conundrum While searching for our true calling, INFJs face a lot of obstacles. To help you better prepare, here are the three primary issues every INFJ I had the chance to speak with has faced when choosing a career: 1. You need to make a difference The first issue is that making a difference seems impossible. The nature of the job itself isn’t that important as long as it enables us to make a difference. I’m not talking about finishing a day’s work type of difference, but rather something else. The difference I speak about is an all or nothing affair. Waking up every morning and knowing that what we do means something and that it helps someone is our motivation. It’s what gives us energy and focus. An INFJ has to feel fulfilled or he or she risks becoming indifferent. It’s a really bad sign...
Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Dear INFJ friend, You’ll probably relate to this. As an INFJ, you most likely already know that we are magnets for narcissist personalities. What troubles us the most is the feeling of guilt INFJs feel when we start thinking it’s our fault. We are our own worst critics, especially when we face external pressure. I had my share of relationships with narcissists and I always felt like it was all my fault. I felt worthless and lonely. So I had to ask myself… Why narcissist personalities prey on INFJs INFJs are called protectors. However, that protection can go against our own better judgement. Because we want to indulge and “fix” our partner or friend who is a narcissist, we unconsciously sabotage our own feelings. Desperately wanting to give love, INFJs start losing the one thing we need the most — self-love. According to Deborah Ward, the author of “Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness”, it’s important to remember that it’s not your love narcissist personalities need. It’s their own. Ward adds: “You will never be able to ‘fix’ anyone. Everyone has their own path to follow and to become a whole and healthy person, everyone needs to walk that path on their own, making their own mistakes, learning to pick themselves up, and discovering how to love themselves.” Narcissists will only see their own image reflected when they look at you. They will never see who you really are. It’s pointless to try to give love to a narcissist. They will never be satisfied, or grateful. What you need to do is give that love to yourself, because you deserve...