INFJs are incredibly intense. I mention this a lot, but it’s true. The term balance is unknown to us.

Our personality either loves without holding back, or Door Slams without remorse. There is no middle ground. This behavior causes certain issues for all INFJs.

I can’t stay calm, I’m an INFJ

It’s important to mention that being intense all the time causes INFJs to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and ultimately leads to burnout.

Even though we appear calm on the outside, what happens on the inside is an entirely different story. Imagine a small hamster constantly running on a wheel until it’s so tired it can’t move.

This intensity I speak of also makes us overthink and obsess. INFJs analyze almost everything, so we can spend days pondering why a person, object, or event is so important to us.

This intense behavior can have its drawbacks, quite a few of them. But I won’t talk about them. Instead, I will share a couple of positives it can bring, as I explain why INFJs are so intense.

We seek meaning in everything

The sheer intensity of the INFJ personality comes from our never-ending desire to find hidden depth in everything.

You need to understand, INFJs must have that bigger why, because it shows us that what we do makes a real difference.

Others might think that the intensity of an INFJ seeking meaning is over the top. But that’s nothing compared to the intense anguish of an INFJ who lives without purpose.

As I’ve mentioned before, INFJs suffer greatly when we don’t know our higher calling. We end up creating problems for ourselves because we have no outlet for our intense emotions and compassionate nature.

We love too fiercely 

Whenever I used to meet someone new, whether it be a new friend or a potential romantic relationship, the connection started intensely from my end.

Either that person would withdraw due to my behavior, or they would be drawn to it even more.

Because INFJs know how it feels not to be rejected, we will never allow a friend or a partner to feel abandoned. It’s the core of who we are.

We will give you the love we know you earned, even if you see us just as an option. INFJs love with such intensity that only a few will be able to handle it.

The INFJ Door Slam is our way of self-care. 

You may wonder why I put INFJ Door Slam as a positive aspect of why INFJs are so intense.

It’s because this single moment can bring us more peace and stillness than any other type of closure. By the time an INFJ reaches the Door Slam point, we already did all we could to save the connection. Our heart and mind will be at peace when it’s all over.   

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Over to you

Do you agree that INFJs are intense? What’s your experience with this? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!                        



Marko Kircanski INFJ coaching