Many people have asked me, do introverts get along with other introverts?
This might surprise you.
A lot of introverts are afraid of other introverts.
Okay, maybe “afraid” isn’t exactly the right word. But many of the introverts I hear from are definitely hesitant, perplexed, intimidated, confused, clueless, discouraged, or otherwise confuddled about interacting with other introverts.
“But how do I approach him?” They ask.
“And what if we have nothing to talk about?”
I get it. I really do. I used to be intimidated by other introverts, too. Especially the really quiet ones (remember, we all express our introversion in different ways, so some innies are more chatty than others).
Then I started this blog, pondered introversion just about everyday for over two years, and wrote hundreds of blog posts on the topic. Et voilà. I am no longer afraid of – oops, I mean confused by – other introverts.
I’ve discovered the secret to interacting with other introverts without being sucked into a vortex of silence. Or feeling so awkward I want to scratch my eyeballs out.
Yep, I’ve come a long way these past couple of years. And now, like a magician unveiling his most anticipated trick, I want to share my secrets of how to chum up with other introverts.
But first, a question:
Have you ever had a friend who you never thought you’d be friends with?
When you first met them, you found them annoying, or weird, or just very different from you. But for one reason or another, they decided – declared, really – that you would be friends. And so it was. Their persistence paid off, and they unexpectedly began to grow on you.
You realized that you could have fun with them, trust them, open up to them. This person could have been fat, tall, skinny, strange, or speckled green. Once they earned your trust, you accepted them just as they are. Against all odds, you became good friends.
Most of my closest friendships formed this way.
We introverts have a soft spot for people who are persistent in their pursuit of our friendship. For us, loyalty covers a multitude of character flaws (maybe too many sometimes). We also like it when people do the heavy lifting of establishing and maintaining a friendship.
I hate to admit it, but we introverts aren’t always the best at making the first move … or the second … or the 110th. We like it when other people do it for us. This can have its downsides. But we won’t talk about that now. After all, I still haven’t revealed my magic trick.
Or have I?
Hmmm … could it be that being friends with another introvert has less to do with what you say, and more to do with how you stand there like an ancient tree in the same vicinity as them?
Is it possible that another introvert won’t care about a little bit of awkward silence if you would stop acting so bloody awkward about it, and just roll with it?
Am I being presumptuous to suggest that another introvert will just be so thankful that you made the first move, they won’t care how smoothly you did it?
Here it is, the answer to the question, do introverts get along with other introverts?
Drum rooooooolllllll …
The white rabbit, my friend:
His name is Patience Persistence And Loyalty With A Hint Of Unapologetic Oddness (he is a Spanish bunny with a very long name).
Now you, dearest
I would love to hear your thoughts on friendship between introverts.
Do you feel weird about approaching other introverts?
Do you get along well with other innies?
Please do share your comments below. 🙂