Do you ever get sick of hearing advice about how to fix your introversion? Thoughtful introverts really take criticism, or even well-meaning advice, to heart. We tend to overthink our flaws and downplay our amazing strengths. That’s why today’s article is all about how to be an introverted boss. And by “boss”, I mean introverted baddass (not team leader or office tyrant).
You see, I don’t want to give you one more reminder of your inadequacies. I know that you already pick yourself apart and feel guilty about each and every way you’re less than perfect. I also know how exhausting it is to be so hard on yourself all the time.
Sometimes, you just need to take a deep breath, let go of the need to be everything to everyone, and embrace the introverted boss that you already are. I hope today’s article will help you do just that.
How to be an introverted boss
1. Stop apologizing for your introversion.
As an introvert you may have gotten in the habit of holding your insecurities in your body, letting your spine curl into an apology. You say sorry for things that actually make you really awesome, like your ability to be alone without getting bored. Or the thoughtful way you approach life. An introverted boss embraces every aspect of who they are, and never apologizes for their needs, opinions, and preferences.
2. Live life on your own terms.
Did you know that one of the top deathbed regrets is living life on other people’s terms? Yep, when grandma is about to breathe her last, she’s not wishing that she spent more time people-pleasing. She’s kicking herself for not flipping the bird at the status quo and living life on her own terms.
As an introvert, people have probably told you that you need to change to fit in. But that will never make you truly happy. The true introverted boss isn’t afraid to do their own thing. Life’s too short to pander to the conformists. Make your own path, and enjoy the journey.
3. Make people hate you.
Okay, this one needs some explanation. When I first started out blogging five years ago, one of the most golden pieces of advice I received was to never try to please everyone with your writing.
The best creators are polarizing. They have a strong voice and their opinions rub some people the wrong way. But the right people identify so deeply with your work that they feel an emotional, often life-changing, connection to you.
So, yeah, if you want to connect on an emotional level with the right people, sometimes you’ll have to piss the wrong people off. Being an introverted baddass means sharing your authentic voice, even if that voice goes against the grain—especially if it does!
You’re okay with not being the nice guy who runs himself ragged just to make others happy. Or the nice girl who never shares her true opinions for fear that she’ll offend someone.
4. Listen to your gut.
A true introverted boss has an insanely strong internal compass and she actually follows it. Instead of ignoring your gut instincts, learn to listen to them. Use your introverted love of solitude to get quiet, reconnect with your intuition, and start feeling (instead of forcing) your way through life. Flow with the river, as the Taoists would say.
The good news is introverts are naturally intuitive. You also tend to spend a lot of time reflecting. Instead of mindlessly going through the motions in life, you feel an innate need to slow down and mentally process everything you’ve been through. Don’t ignore this trait. It’s what makes you an introverted baddass, and just plain awesome.
5. Take more risks.
Don’t let the people who don’t really understand you tell you that you’re too timid to be a baddass. An introverted boss knows that you can be both quiet and bold, thoughtful and ambitious, gentle and fierce.
Unearth your secret desire to see/do/be more than your practical self will ever admit. Drag your dreams into existent even if they come out kicking and screaming. An authentic and meaningful life is worth the risk of rejection and failure.
6. Create with abandon.
Most introverts have a mean creative streak. Unfortunately, a lot of us push creativity aside in favour of more practical endeavours. But the process of creativity is a reward in itself. It makes you smarter, happier, wiser, and more of who you were always meant to be. But it’s more than that.
If you have a gift—if you can write, paint, dance, act—why not make the most of it? As Stephen King put it in his book On Writing:
“If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”
An introverted boss knows the power of their art, so they create with abandon and enjoy every minute.
As for fixing yourself…
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m all about helping introverts to embrace their introversion and live life on their own terms. I never tell you to fix yourself or become an extrovert. But I do share concrete steps on how to build confidence, connection, and self-love in your own introverted way.
Much of what I share never shows up on the blog. It’s all hidden away in my secret innie community (a.k.a my mailing list). Subscribe and you can get all my secret goodies, including introvert confidence lessons, and a free Introvert Connection guide. Go here to subscribe and get the free guide.
Over to you
What resonated with you most in this article? Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!