How many times have you been confused for an extrovert? This is common for the INFJ personality. Not just because we thrive on having meaningful connections, but also because when an INFJ opens up, you get this other side of us not many have the chance to see. Our evil twin! Lol, just kidding. But there’s an interesting reason behind this confusion.
My inner extrovert clouded the real INFJ within
While I was in stage 1 and 2 of the purpose journey, for a couple of years I was working the most extroverted jobs you can imagine. I was a customer support agent, event planner, announcer, journalist and the list goes on.
All of these jobs, as much as there were good things about them, were deeply overwhelming and felt like a constant struggle for survival.
I was required to talk until I lost my voice. That process repeated itself on a daily basis. At that point, I already knew I was an INFJ, even though I tried convincing myself that my inner extrovert was in there somewhere. So, people actually started confusing me for this chatty, talkative person who thrives in crowds and loves noisy places.
When I figured out what was happening, and that I was being portrayed as a 100% extrovert, it was already too late. The extrovert label stuck, which caused some difficulty with my family accepting that I love recharging in silence and solitude like the true introvert that I am.
Understanding all too well why this confusion between INFJs and extroverts happens, I’ll now share and explain the main reason why it occurs in the first place.
INFJs and extroverts have one thing in common
Our personality type adores having meaningful conversations. But not as much as sharing something we believe in. Just think about it, how many times have you felt as if time stopped when talking about something that made your heart sing?
Even better, how many times have you sensed a person is actually listening to what you have to say, so you drop all shields and started speaking about everything that interests you? Now a side note, this is not just some mindless chatter. INFJs will never share something that’s without purpose.
I don’t know about you, but when I open up, especially about my purpose journey, I can’t stop talking. Losing my breath is something that happens to me all too often. This only happens when an INFJ believes in something so deeply, that for that small moment we seem like extroverts.
This is nothing bad, nor should you be concerned that you are actually an extrovert. You’re not. This is a unique INFJ trait that shows how we are skilled in having vivacious talks with the element of self-confidence along with it.
Should I be worried that I’ll turn into an extrovert?
Absolutely not. You are an INFJ, and we have an incredible amount of similarities with our extroverted friends. That doesn’t mean you are going to become one, but it does mean that you should honor how you feel.
Just a small example. I never had a problem with public speaking, even in front of huge crowds of people. This is something many INFJs dread doing. But we are all unique. I know many INFJs who are more than comfortable in large groups of people. Your purpose is not tied to what you do, it’s who you choose to be.
It’s all about what feels good to you, my INFJ friend. It’s okay if you have certain common traits with your extroverted friends, or if your actions are sometimes different than from what an INFJ would typically do. We may share the same personality, but we are all unique gems that deserve recognition.
A gentle reminder
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What are your thoughts?
What are your thoughts on the confusion between INFJs and extroverts? Is there something you would like to add? I would appreciate your opinion on this, so feel free to have your say in the comment section below. ☺
Xo,
Marko
I really appreciate what you said. Like you, I have no difficulty speaking in front of people especially when I am passionate about the topic. Most people think I am an extrovert as well. I think that within the INFJ group there is a wonderful amount of variation (actually I think this is true for all types). This is what makes us all individuals. Again, thank you.
You are most welcome Rebecca! I can completely understand you, and I agree with what you said, especially about that individuality. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Some very interesting ideas that I completely agree with. People often think I’m an extrovert because my idealism makes me speak up more than anyone else at work meetings or gatherings as I tend to have strong views which I’m not afraid of expressing which isn’t extroversion but idealism and a desire for fairness and harmony!
My true nature is INFJ and will perform as an extrovert when society calls usually at parties or work related events. But all the time I’m performing I feel my true nature is watching me from a short distance slightly puzzled by by behaviour. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I’m embarrassed by myself. I so understand what you’re saying.
Happy Nee Year Marko.
Thanks for your understanding words, Catherine. 🙂 I’m glad to hear you can relate. Happy New Year! 🙂
You blog makes a lot of sense for me. I’m the person who sit in the corner and watches interaction until something comes up and that feel I have something to say. If it’s something I’m passionate about I have no problem taking center stage. To be honest I’m so caught up in what I’m talking about that there is no room to feel uncomfortable. I’ve never had a problem with public speaking as well. It’s interesting.
Thanks so much Samantha! Yeah, same here. like you, when I have something to share I’m passionate about I never had problems sharing it. 🙂
Except that i know myself i have a bad tendency to get side tracked going into backstory. Then i don’t remember the origin of the conversation and i sense them thinking what have they done.
“Why INFJs Are Confused For Extroverts”
To be honest, I confused myself for an extrovert LOL. After realizing there’s such thing as introversion/extroversion and knowing I lean more towards introvert, I started thinking that I was an ambivert just because of my more extroverted tendencies. So this article was clarifying. I can’t do public speaking in a pinch (I get nervous and I need to plan; I cannot improvise), but that and acting are way more in my comfort zone than, for example, canvassing. I also have that something I believe in strongly lol. My friends and acquaintances never really remembered me as “quiet”. At this time I have a little bit of difficulty relating to other introverts. Look at how many words this comment is already, geez.
I always thought I was an introvert masquerading as an extrovert.