Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

Hate Conflict? 4 INFJ Ways To Restore The Peace

If there’s one thing INFJs don’t like, it’s conflict. Our personality is peaceful by nature, and everything that even resembles conflict we avoid by default. INFJs are diplomats with a kind and understanding heart. We believe that every situation can be resolved without conflict. However, in order to handle and face an INFJ conflict, we must first recognize where it comes from. The inner INFJ conflict Conflict only gives birth to unnecessary harsh language and actions. It fuels negative energy among people. Just imagine the effects it can have on extroverts. Now multiply that by a hundred when it comes to INFJs. You might think that because I’m a certified INFJ coach and a writer, I’m in complete control over every INFJ conflict situation I face. However, the truth is… I easily get scared when facing conflict. I often thought that walking away was always the best solution. That’s exactly what I did. But I only made the situation worse. For years I blamed myself for being bullied in high school, never allowing myself to acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I thought I was the source of conflict because I was quiet and always buried deeply in my books. Humiliation became my everyday routine during the four years of high school, because I was afraid of starting a situation that could potentially turn into a conflict. It wasn’t until I graduated that I realized how wrong I was for thinking it was my fault. I discovered that conflict doesn’t come from the outside. It comes firstly from within. In one of my favorite INFJ conflict examples, I’ll demonstrate how...
An Introvert Goes To The Doctor

An Introvert Goes To The Doctor

INTROVERT: I don’t feel so good. DOCTOR: What are your symptoms? INTROVERT: Well, I don’t like talking very much. But writing is okay. And people make me feel tired, like I want to take a nap. Also, I like to be alone. (Pause.) I mean, I really like it. DOCTOR: Okay, but are you ill? INTROVERT: Most of the time, no, but then sometimes I get this funny feeling in my stomach, like I’m trying to do yoga after eating a Big Mac. DOCTOR: Are you eating a Big Mac when this happens? INTROVERT: No. DOCTOR: What are you doing when you get the stomach problems? INTROVERT: Nothing. Just thinking (Pause.) and not talking. Maybe looking at my phone. DOCTOR: Hmmm. Did you bring in that urine sample the nurse asked for? INTROVERT: Yes, one sec. (Reaches into his bag and pulls out a urine sample in a small plastic container.) Here. DOCTOR: (He dips a test strip into the urine sample, and places it on a paper towel.) Let’s take your blood pressure. (Attaches a blood pressure cuff and takes a reading.) 119/80. Very good. Now, open up. INTROVERT: That’s another problem. I’m not very good at opening up. I guess I just don’t like talking about myself. DOCTOR: No, I mean open your mouth and say “ah”. INTROVERT: Oh. (Opens mouth.) Aaaaah. DOCTOR: (He presses down INTROVERT’s tongue with a tongue depressor, peers inside his mouth.) Hmmm. Okay. (Goes to glance at the urine test strip, and then sits). I think I see the issue. INTROVERT: You do? DOCTOR: You’re an introvert. INTROVERT: You can tell that from my...
Why Introverts Need Animal Friends ♥

Why Introverts Need Animal Friends ♥

A lot of introverts are hardcore animal lovers. Sometimes, we even love our animal friends more than people. Who can blame us? Animals offer a kind of companionship that feeds an introvert’s gentle soul like nothing else. While people drain our energy by expecting constant conversation, animals replenish us by offering comfort beyond words. As serious and stoic as we may seem on the outside, we introverts need love and affection, too. Often, our animal friends are just what the doctor ordered. After a long day filled with too much peopling, a cuddle from a furry cutie has us good as new again. My strange animal best friend This is a little embarrassing to admit, but growing up, my best friend was my pet rat. Sure, I had human friends, too, but Mickey the rat was an endless source of joy and companionship for me. After all, we had so much in common. We both loved to explore nature, munch on yummy food, and take naps. oh yeah, and we were both very quiet as well. Mickey the rat and I didn’t have very many deep conversations, and that’s what made our bond all the more strong. Introverts need companions who allow us to feel safe in our silence. Animals do this naturally. – Tweet this Overthinking and anxious? Animal friends cure all Many of us innies have a tendency to overthink. We create thought knots that we spend the whole day trying to untangle. This gets very tiring, and can cause a lot of anxiety. The pure loving presence of an animal friend gets us out of our head...
Empath Compassion Fatigue: 7 Signs You Have It + How To Heal

Empath Compassion Fatigue: 7 Signs You Have It + How To Heal

If you’re an empath, you are all too familiar with overwhelm and burnout. But did you know that you are also particularly susceptible to something called “empath compassion fatigue”? It turns out that for empaths, who literally feel the emotions and energy of others, compassion is not a limitless resource. Empath compassion fatigue is the point when you reach your limit. Suddenly, you realize that your emotional stores are depleted and your compassion has been replaced by apathy, or even anger. Compassion fatigue, which is also known as “secondary traumatization”, is caused by the emotional residue from working with people or animals who have suffered from trauma. This can occur after exposure to one trauma case, or it can be cumulative. You see, all the pain and suffering you encounter can build up over time. Layer after layer settles on your gentle empath heart and soul. Eventually, it weighs you down, and quells your motivation. Who suffers from empath compassion fatigue? While all empaths are susceptible to compassion fatigue, there are some who are more at risk than others. Compassion fatigue is considered to be an occupational hazard for anyone working in a caregiving role. Careers that commonly lead to empath compassion fatigue include: doctor counsellor psychologist nurse EMT support worker veterinarian animal shelter worker As you can see, careers that place empaths in close contact with those who have suffered trauma inevitably lead to empath compassion fatigue. But what about all the unofficial caregivers out there? Oftentimes, empaths attract or are attracted to those in need. You are drawn in by the stories of shame and suffering. You...
How To Know If An Introvert Likes You

How To Know If An Introvert Likes You

People often ask me how to know if an introvert likes you. Most of the time the question comes from an extroverted woman, who likes an introverted man, but feels totally confused by his signals. She wonders if his aloofness is because of his introversion, or because he’s just not that into her. I can see why people get confused. We introverts have a unique way of showing that we like someone. Often, our behaviour is the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who is swooning over you. As an introvert myself, I’m all too familiar with how it feels to like someone and not know how to show it in a “normal” way. Since we introverts need more time to think before we speak, I used to be chronically tongue-tied around my crushes. And that’s only if I actually had the courage to be near them. Most of the time, I would secretly pine after my crush from afar, but run away like a frightened cat the moment he came near me. The only time I really got close to the guys I liked was in my fantasies. As an introvert, I spend a lot of time inside my head. My fantasy men were great companions for my daydreams. Except for one problem. I was still a weirdo around these guys in real life. I would still clam up and go completely silent when they were around. I would still give off an awkward what-do-I-do-with-my-hands vibe in their presence. And, worst of all, I would still feel completely clueless about how flirt with them without giving off...
The Top 10 INFJ Careers

The Top 10 INFJ Careers

Dear INFJ friend, Choosing the top INFJ careers that will satisfy all our needs is not easy. It’s a hard road filled with obstacles. We are unique, so not all jobs are suitable for our rare personality. INFJs excel in many areas. There’s a reason why we are called advocates, diplomats, counselors, and healers. INFJs are the perfect negotiators. Despite all our amazing gifts, it’s not easy to find the best INFJ careers. That’s why I’ve put together the a list of the top 10 INFJ careers for you. I made an infographic, too, which I’ll share a bit later in this article, but first I want to talk about why it’s so tough for INFJs to find the right career. The INFJ careers conundrum While searching for our true calling, INFJs face a lot of obstacles. To help you better prepare, here are the three primary issues every INFJ I had the chance to speak with has faced when choosing a career: 1. You need to make a difference The first issue is that making a difference seems impossible. The nature of the job itself isn’t that important as long as it enables us to make a difference. I’m not talking about finishing a day’s work type of difference, but rather something else. The difference I speak about is an all or nothing affair. Waking up every morning and knowing that what we do means something and that it helps someone is our motivation. It’s what gives us energy and focus. An INFJ has to feel fulfilled or he or she risks becoming indifferent. It’s a really bad sign...