For introverts, the saying ‘too much of a good thing’ is particularly relevant. Many things that we enjoy are only enjoyable in small doses. Crowds, parties, loud music and loud people might be entertaining for a little while, but they quickly deplete introvert energy.
In order to replenish our energy reserves, we seek out the quiet and familiar. We enter into a sort of activity/recovery cycle. One big party could incapacitate us for the rest of the weekend. The non-stop celebrations that accompany the holidays often require weeks of recovery.
If you follow my Facebook page, you know that I went to my first Mexican wedding this past weekend. There were mariachis, fireworks, and enough bottles of tequila to fill a bathtub. In truth, I had a blast. Today, however, I feel like a wrung out cloth, every last drop of energy drained out of me.
I suspect that I will spend the rest of the week recuperating from my weekend escapades. In this case, it was worth it. But I can think of many instances when an activity wasn’t worth the price I paid in physical and mental exhaustion.
The introvert energy threshold
It’s easy to forget that everyone has different thresholds for novelty and excitement. For some people, partying all weekend is a way of life. For others, it would be no way of living at all.
As introverts, the important thing to remember is that energy is not a limitless resource. Every portion that we spend in one area of our life, leaves less for other areas.
Why extroverts don’t get it
Because extroverts gain energy from things that drain us, they have difficulty understanding our needs. They look at us with crinkled brows when we choose to stay home on a Saturday night. They find it strange that we don’t go out as much as they do. They encourage us to “seize the day” and “come out of our shells”.
What they don’t realize is that we have different ideas of what it means to “seize the day”. What gives them a buzz gives us a headache. What makes them leap for joy makes us run for cover. What energizes them drains us.
This doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the same activities that extroverts do. But we will likely do so with our shells and excuses to leave early in tow. And we reserve the right to stay home in our pajamas the next day (or three).
What about you?
Do you find that you need recovery time after a social events? Please do share your insights and experiences in the comments below. 🙂
P.S. For more introvert insights and advice, join my mailing list. You’ll discover how to develop true confidence, self-love and connection in your own innie way. You’ll also get my 50-page ebook to connect with anyone, even if you’re quiet and shy.
This is just what I needed this morning – acknowledgement that I am not alone in this world and in this way of being.
Hi Lori, glad to know it was timely for you. xo
I still cant wrap my head around the idea of partying on Friday, Saturday, taking cover on Sunday for the sake of Monday then get back to it on Friday!!!!
This is so true for me. My family loves gatherings and big trips, but I don’t deal with crowds that well. I’m young so I confuse people when I say I’d rather be at home with a book or good movie than at some party. After a few hours of being around a lot of people, I start to feel it get harder and harder to smile. It got so bad, people stopped inviting me to parties because they knew I would bring a notebook and headphones to occupy myself once I got tired.
I never even knew I was really an introvert! I have always become overwhelmed at parties, completely drained after about an hour or so in a crowd! My husband thrives on interaction and for me it’s like slow poison. Very inlightening!