Love between two introverts can provide a refreshing oasis in an increasingly loud world.  It is a love formed on mutual acceptance with little need for compromise; a partnership with fewer words, but greater understanding; a safe place where both people have enough space to blossom.

What this post isn’t about

Sure, there are some introvert/introvert relationships that are inherently flawed.  Often, both partners stay in their own corner, unable to be vulnerable and truly connect.

I don’t want to talk about those kinds of relationships right now.

I will also acknowledge that introverts and extroverts can have beautiful, harmonious relationships.  They can embrace their differences and fulfill each other’s needs. But I’m not going to talk about that either. 

Introvert/introvert love at its best

I want to speak, quite transparently, about the ideal introvert love match.  I would like to celebrate the bliss of feeling like someone really ‘gets’ you. I will try to describe the joy of NOT being an outsider in your own world and NOT having to constantly compromise.

I would like to share my very biased thoughts on introvert/introvert love at its best.  But first, lets explore the opposite kind of relationship.

The relationship that robs your soul

Have you ever felt like an alien amidst your partner’s friends?  Have you been pushed to the outskirts of your own world and left to feel like an outsider looking in?  Have the differences between you and your extroverted lover left you guilt-ridden and hollow?

Have you been ensnared in a never-ending cycle of fruitless “compromise”?

You are not alone.

This kind of introvert/extrovert relationship has robbed many a gentle soul.  Its victims are left with mangled hearts and an avalanche of regret  (I just realized it sounds like I’m about to launch into a product pitch – never be alone again, buy The Introvert’s Guide to Lasting Love – don’t worry, I’m not selling anything).

There is a benefit to such a relationship.  If you escape, you will likely be hurtled full-force into the arms of someone more like you.  You will find solace with a partner who sits right next to you on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.

A personal story

Long, long ago (okay not that long ago), in a land far away, where dingoes and fire-breathing iguanas ruled the earth, two introverts met.  They gazed from afar, until one day, they began having awkward exchanges with drawn-out pauses.

Somehow, they each found a remnant of themselves in the other.  They soon embarked on a beautiful introvert/introvert romance.  It was an affair marked by deep conversations, simple pleasures and exhilarating little monster moments.  It wasn’t too fast, or too slow, or too loud, or too quiet; it was just right.

I would like to share more details about this experience, but for that, we would have to get pretty cozy (a glass of wine or five wouldn’t hurt either).

What I wanted to illustrate, is that being with someone who sees the world through the same lens as you can be liberating.  It can open up your quiet world.  Instead of draining you, it can give you the energy needed to slay life’s fire-breathing iguanas.

If you can survive a few (or several) awkward exchanges with drawn-out pauses, you could be well on your way to your own ‘just right’ love affair.