Most introverts hear the phrase, “you’re so quiet” countless times. People love to point out our wordless ways. As a matter of fact, just this past week, someone said to me “You know, you’re a really quiet girl.”
Yes, I know.
This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves as an introvert. I know being a quiet introvert isn’t a bad thing. But still, anytime someone points it out, I feel anxious. In my mind, their words are dripping with judgement. I also recognize that they are probably commenting because they feel uncomfortable.
Many people can’t stand silence. Empty air space is something that is unfamiliar and unwelcome for them. They immediately seek to fill it with their own voice. If they’re really desperate, they will try to badger some words out of us, saying things like, “you’re being awfully quiet. Say something.”
To which I reply, ” umm … uh … (cough) … errr, ” while wishing I could somehow telepathically convey to them that telling an introvert she is quiet is like telling the sky it’s blue: you’ll be pointing out the obvious and you’re not likely to get a response.
The REAL reason we’re quiet
“People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F Hansen
I also wish that I could tell them the REAL reason why I am so quiet at that particular moment. Sure, sometimes it’s because I’m tired, or I feel like daydreaming, but other times THEY are the reason for my sealed lips.
It’s no coincidence that the people who make this statement most are the same people who rarely listen or ask thoughtful questions. They are also often the people with a very loud and overpowering energy.
None of the introverts I know will battle their way into a conversation. Myself included. If someone doesn’t seem interested in listening to me early on in the interaction, I won’t bother trying again. Instead, I’ll buy a one-way ticket to wonderland (a.k.a my own imagination), and let them continue their solo conversation without interruption.
Do you react similarly to people with loud mouths and even louder personalities?
I would love to hear your thoughts. 🙂
P.S. I’m launching a brand new FREE ebook tomorrow: 100 Introvert Questions: Answers to everything you want to know in 20 words or less. Subscribe to my mailing list (see below) to get your copy hot off the press!