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Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Why INFJs Attract Narcissist Personalities

Dear INFJ friend, You’ll probably relate to this. As an INFJ, you most likely already know that we are magnets for narcissist personalities. What troubles us the most is the feeling of guilt INFJs feel when we start thinking it’s our fault. We are our own worst critics, especially when we face external pressure. I had my share of relationships with narcissists and I always felt like it was all my fault. I felt worthless and lonely. So I had to ask myself… Why narcissist personalities prey on INFJs INFJs are called protectors. However, that protection can go against our own better judgement. Because we want to indulge and “fix” our partner or friend who is a narcissist, we unconsciously sabotage our own feelings. Desperately wanting to give love, INFJs start losing the one thing we need the most — self-love. According to Deborah Ward, the author of “Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness”, it’s important to remember that it’s not your love narcissist personalities need. It’s their own. Ward adds: “You will never be able to ‘fix’ anyone. Everyone has their own path to follow and to become a whole and healthy person, everyone needs to walk that path on their own, making their own mistakes, learning to pick themselves up, and discovering how to love themselves.” Narcissists will only see their own image reflected when they look at you. They will never see who you really are. It’s pointless to try to give love to a narcissist. They will never be satisfied, or grateful. What you need to do is give that love to yourself, because you deserve... read more
10 Secret Habits of Mentally Strong Introverts 

10 Secret Habits of Mentally Strong Introverts 

When you’re an introvert living in an extrovert’s world, it’s easy to get thrown off balance. Luckily, there are tried and true habits that mentally strong introverts use to stay on track. Because here’s the thing. We introverts get overwhelmed by things that extroverts thrive on. They crave the buzz of constant socializing, and busyness. Meanwhile, the chaotic pace of modern life makes us introverts want to hide under a blanket all day. Not only that … The demands of daily life can turn our mind to mush. We come home after a long day feeling mentally exhausted and defeated. It’s tough to have a resilient mindset when you’re constantly battling introvert overwhelm. Thankfully, there is a better way. Developing the habits of mentally strong introverts can mean the difference between limping through existence like a battered old street dog, and feeling a sense of confidence and control over your life. I should know. I’m an introvert myself. And I’ve been on this earth long enough (32 years now) to understand that our mind is one of the few things we have control over. This is good news for introverts, who spend a whole lot of time prancing through our vast mental landscapes. The tricky part is knowing how to stay mentally strong no matter what daily challenges we face. It turns out that habits and mindsets have a whole lot to do with it. That’s why I’m revealing … The 10 habits of mentally strong introverts “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the... read more
THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

THE BEST DIET FOR INTROVERTS? Surprising Links Between Personality & Food

Having an introverted personality impacts every area of your life. It’s obvious how your introversion influences your career and relationships, but is it possible that there is a link between personality and food? And is there such a thing as an ideal introvert diet? As an introvert, you might have already noticed that you have unique dietary needs. For example, you might be more sensitive to stimulants, such as caffeine and refined sugar. Perhaps, you’ve also discovered that eating certain foods does crazy things to your already unpredictable energy levels. Is it possible that your introversion has something to do with these diet sensitivities? The research on the subject is thin, but I’ve uncovered some important links between personality and diet: Many introverts, identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP) — especially those with ‘IN’ Myers-Briggs personality types (INFP, INFJ, INTJ, INTP) . When you are HSP, you experience hypersensitivity to external AND internal stimuli. Caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and various chemicals are all forms of stimuli that can create fatigue, anxiety, and mental fog in HSPs. Introverts are deep thinkers, who make decisions based on their internal experience. Many introverts carefully contemplate — and, even obsess — over the foods we choose to eat, making sure to consider how these foods line up with our values. This can lead to a highly specific introvert diet, which takes into account all sorts of factors, such as animal welfare, the environment, longevity, and disease prevention. Many introverts also consider themselves to be empaths. This means that we literally feel the energy and emotions of others. This can impact diet in two... read more
Proud To Be An Introvert | ♥ MUST SEE Inspiration

Proud To Be An Introvert | ♥ MUST SEE Inspiration

  When you’re an introvert living in an extrovert’s world, you spend a lot of time feeling misunderstood. People wonder … Why are you so quiet? Why do you keep wandering off? Why would you want to be alone when there are parties to go to, people to meet, and adventures to be had. They don’t understand that for an introvert, our adventures begin on the inside Our imagination gives us wings Carrying us  to new worlds We are the thinkers, the creators, the dreamers We may be still and silent, But we are soaring So when you look at us sitting alone, or daydreaming or wandering off by ourselves Don’t feel sorry for us We may be quiet, but don’t underestimate our power We know more than we say, we think more than we speak, and we observe more than you know. We’re introverts, and that doesn’t make us ‘failed extroverts’ We grew up thinking there was something wrong with us But the truth is that introverts are so much more than what meets the eye We are deep divers in a world of shallow swimmers We know how to listen, not just to words, but also to the subtle messages carried on the wings of silence Give us the freedom to be who we were meant to be And you’ll see how much introverts have to offer the world It’s true that some people might never understand us, and that’s okay Because, when you know how to stand alone The crowd can’t knock you down Please don’t try to change us into extroverts We don’t want to... read more
How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

How To Overcome INFJ Loneliness

Loneliness is the biggest obstacle slowing down INFJs on the road to happiness. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is not easy. No other feeling causes so much anxiety and sadness. What separates loneliness from other roadblocks on the INFJ path is that it can show its face anytime and anywhere. Why is overcoming loneliness hard for INFJs? Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people, listening the sound of small talk, and feeling judgmental eyes looking straight at you? I know I have plenty of times. Even today I face judging words — “He is weird, quiet, and strange”—  because I love spending hours in bookstores by myself, and love having dinner alone in a restaurant. If I’m honest, I feel lonely where I am now. But I’m balancing that feeling because there are plenty of moments when happiness embraces me. The source of my loneliness comes from the knowledge that people I hold dear live thousands of miles away. Also, my full potential will only be fulfilled when I reach my dream and leave my current location. It will happen, but until then, loneliness and me are stuck with each other. Overcoming INFJ loneliness is hard because we often feel misunderstood. We feel that no one gets us and that we’re all alone in our way of thinking. It feels lonely when INFJs constantly need to explain why solitude is important, why we feel lonely in a crowd, or why we need peace and quiet. It’s not easy to win a race against loneliness, but it’s possible. The best strategy to conquer INFJ loneliness A review by researchers at the University... read more
The Ultimate Introvert Travel Guide

The Ultimate Introvert Travel Guide

Are you as sick as I am of reading travel advice written by and for extroverts? If so, I’ve got the goods for you today. I’ve put together an introvert travel guide that will show you how to add more wonder to your wanderlust, without getting overwhelmed. Because here’s the thing. Introverts are known for staying home. While extroverts seek constant stimulation and excitement, we seek solitude and peace. But this is only part of the picture. Introverts, too, can catch the travel bug. It’s just that we like to do it on our own terms. While it’s true that travel can be exhausting for introverts, it doesn’t have to be. I should know. Over the years, I’ve travelled across continents in the name of art, adventure, escape, and plain old curiosity. Just to give you some context regarding the range of travel experiences I’ve had, here’s a quick summary of just a few of my overseas escapades. I’ve travelled solo through Latin America, New Zealand, Australia, and Thailand. Those of you who know me know that at the end of 2012, I quit my job, sold everything that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase, and set off on a cross-continental odyssey to find purpose and meaning. I have to be honest, this kind of hardcore solo travel is not for everyone, even if you’re an introvert. But I’ll tell you how you can make it work a bit later. I’ve travelled to Puerto Rico, New York, and Portland with a salsa dance troupe. We went to compete, perform, and take workshops at big dance events called “salsa congresses”. With... read more
Are We Compatible? MBTI Relationship Matches For Introverts

Are We Compatible? MBTI Relationship Matches For Introverts

It’s that time of year when most of us are acutely aware of our relationship status. Whether you’re coupled up or single, knowing your MBTI relationship matches comes in handy. Before I introduce you to your matches, which I’ve compiled in a colorful new infographic, I want to let you in on a little secret. Your MBTI relationship matches aren’t rules for your love life to live or die by. This is love we’re talking about after all! Matchmaking — even when the matchmaker is the MBTI — is more an art than an exact science. There’s no need to dump your fiancé because he didn’t make the cut on your MBTI relationship matches list. There are always exceptions, dearest. As comedian and actress Charlyne Yi puts it: “Compatibility is weird. Love is confusing. Love is one wild beast.” Okay, now that we’ve got that little caveat out of the way, let’s be honest. It’s really nice to have some guidelines surrounding compatibility. After all, no one knows what lottery ticket is going to be the winner. But it sure is nice to understand the odds before you invest your hard earned money in a ticket. Knowing your MBTI relationship matches gives you a better idea of your chances in the love lottery. Sure, you could beat the odds, and find love with an unlikely match. But you could also discover that the MBTI did not lie. Sometimes, the Myers-Briggs can help predict relationship compatibility with eerie success. Now you might be wondering … How does it work? How exactly does this Myers-Briggs thingy determine your matches? Allow me... read more
INFJ BEWARE: 3 Warning Signs You’re In a Toxic Relationship

INFJ BEWARE: 3 Warning Signs You’re In a Toxic Relationship

If you’re an INFJ like me, you know how it feels to be overwhelmed in a toxic relationship. All our senses are messed up and we start feeling guilty and unworthy. The INFJ personality is like a magnet for relationships that utterly drain us, but we tend to stay in them nonetheless. Allow me to explain why. Why are INFJs more likely to stay in a toxic relationship? Staying in a toxic relationship can have roots from a childhood trauma, according to Ken Page, a psychotherapist and author of the book Deeper Dating. If a person was deprived of love or attention from their parents while they were kids, they tend to replicate that behavior in adulthood, seeking out partners who deny them that crucial validation and appreciation they so desperately need. This counterintuitive feeling is known as an “attraction of deprivation,” according to Page. As Dr. Page points out, past traumas are one of the main reasons why INFJs refuse to leave a toxic relationship. Combine this with conflict avoidance, and the INFJ desire to maintain peace and understanding, and you got yourself a one-way ticket to overwhelm. We don’t want to hurt anyone Staying in a toxic relationship is much harder for INFJs because we don’t want to hurt anyone. For example, I never had the loving support I needed during my childhood and adolescent years. I was on my own and left to handle my fears as best I could. One of my ex-girlfriends was a classic narcissist and the relationship with her overwhelmed me daily. I wanted to speak up, but fear got a hold... read more
Too Tired After Work? 10 Ways Introverts Can Recharge Fast

Too Tired After Work? 10 Ways Introverts Can Recharge Fast

If you’re an introvert, you know how it feels to be too tired after work. After a long day slaving away for the man, you come home with mush for brains, and zero energy. This is frustrating for many reasons. First of all, there are a lot of things you need to do when you get home. There are animals and loved ones to tend to, friends to call back, neighbours to hide from. But here’s the problem. All of the above tasks take energy. And when you are an introvert who works in a draining environment, energy is one commodity that is in very short supply at the end of the day. Thankfully, there are ways to refill your energy tanks when you are too tired after work. Many of these after work recharge tips are things you can easily slip into your daily routine. Before I share my top tips, as well as a summary infographic, I want to ask you something important: Do you know why you feel too tired after work? For introverts, this is an important question with an answer that is more layered than you might think. Sure, work is stressful and demanding for anyone — that’s why they call it “work”, right? But for introverts, it’s more than that. For introverts, going to work is a daily battle with overstimulation. The reason has to do with the way an introvert’s brain works in comparison to an extrovert’s. In the 1960s psychologist Hans Eysenck proposed that introverts and extroverts have different levels of cortical arousal (the speed and amount of brain activity). Introverts... read more
An Epic Introvert Job Interview Guide

An Epic Introvert Job Interview Guide

If you’re an introvert like me, you probably don’t leap for joy at the prospect of going on a job interview. Let’s face it, selling ourselves to strangers doesn’t come easily to most introverts. That’s why I’m sharing an epic and awesome introvert job interview guide with you today. But first, can I be honest with you? As an introvert myself, I actually don’t think we’re at as much of a disadvantage in job interviews as others would lead us to believe. You see, we have a lot of goodies in our introvert job interview toolkit. 4 Introvert Job Interview Skills You Already Have As an introvert, you have a wealth of skills and gifts to bring to a job interview. You’re already better prepared to wow a potential employer than you think. Here’s why: 1. You’re highly observant. You pick up on subtleties others might miss. This comes in handy when you’re at a job interview and you need to pay attention to body language and facial expression cues from the interviewer. 2. You like to be prepared. Introverts are known for thinking things through before acting. When it comes to job interviews, you’re more likely to do your research and prepare your answers ahead of time. After all, you are an internal processor, which means you need time to think before you speak. You’re not going to just breeze into an interview and rely on smooth talking and charm. 3. You’re an innovative creative. You might think that creativity has no place in most corporate jobs. The same goes for jobs for introverts in the medical field,... read more

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