If you’re an extroverted introvert like me, you know how confusing this is for people. Everyone expects an introvert to be shy and reclusive. And we can be, but extroverted introverts also like to get out there and mix ‘n mingle. When we’re “on”, we are sociable, and friendly. When we’re “off”, we hurry home to recharge in solitude.
Even though we spend way more time introverting than following the crowd, people only see our outgoing side. They don’t realize that our social batteries are drained very quickly.
Those who don’t know us well are puzzled by our behaviour. If they are around to see us go from fully charged, to depleted, they will usually think one of three things:
a) Something has happened to make us sad or mad, and it is their duty to fix things by commanding us to “smile”, and “stop being a party pooper”.
b) They think we hate them, or that they have deeply offended us in some way.
c) We are silently judging them and the verdict is not good.
It’s not just the people around us that are confused. We are just as perplexed by our own behaviour. We didn’t even know there was such a thing as an extroverted introvert. That’s why I’ve put together 6 signs that you are an extroverted introvert.
1. You need alone time before and after socializing.
Your social energy has an expiry date. Ample alone time before and after social spurts helps you to recharge. If you don’t have enough time to yourself between activities, you feel irritable, exhausted, and sometimes even depressed.
2. You are very selective with your social calendar.
You know that you only have so much energy for socializing. This is why you often take a long time deciding whether to go out or not. You are like a cat, not sure whether you want to stay in or go out.
3. You make new friendships easily, but have trouble maintaining them.
When you’re in social mode, you find it easy to make new friends. Maintaining those friendships is another story. You find it hard to disperse your energy between lots of people. You save your loyalty and love for a select group of true friends.
4. You want true connection. Small talk makes you sick.
You enjoy being with people, but not just any kind of socializing will do. You crave meaningful conversations, and true connection. Small talk without true connection leaves you feeling empty. When you deeply connect with another person, you feel rejuvenated.
5. You are quiet in a crowd.
Even though you like being around people, you don’t feel the need to talk the whole time. Often, you are happy to listen and observe. Or help the host with cleanup. This is especially true in group conversations, where you never quite know when to chime in. One-on-one conversations are more your forte.
6. You always have an escape plan.
One of your worst fears is being trapped at a party. You know that once your social batteries start to run low, you’ll want to get out of there ASAP. Sometimes you flee so fast it’s as if you’re leaving a crime scene. Luckily, needing alone time is not a crime (no matter what our extrovert obsessed society tells you).
Does this sound like you?
Are you an extroverted introvert?
What is the best or worst part about being an extroverted introvert?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your insights below. 🙂
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P.S. The term “extroverted introverted” is not technically accurate. I would actually prefer “social introvert”; however I used “extroverted introvert” because it resonates deeply with a lot of people. You can read a more thorough definition of an introvert here.