introvert dating advice women

If you’re an introverted woman like me, you may have felt like you were too quiet to be attractive. You saw bubbly, flirty girls get the guy in school, while you felt awkward and frozen in place with the men you liked.

To this day, you might feel like you put up an invisible wall around men that you can’t seem to break down. The words don’t come easily in conversation, and you just can’t seem to “loosen up” and “be yourself” like everyone keeps telling you to.

Worse still, most of the dating advice out there is designed for extroverted women. The experts tell you to just get out there more, flirt, and follow a bunch of rules to get a guy to like you.

Meanwhile, you spend more time having conversations in your head with the man you like than actually talking to him. I know how you feel.

As a quiet, introverted woman myself, I used to feel deeply insecure about my personality. I wished that I could be like the other girls who seemed to always know what to say and when to say it.

They were light and fun around men, which is what I thought all men wanted. It wouldn’t be until years later that I learned the truth.

The truth about what men want

The idea that you have to be chatty and overtly flirtatious to be attractive to men is a myth. Quiet introverted women are most certainly attractive to men. But there’s a catch.

You see, those bubbly extroverted girls don’t necessarily get the guy because they are outgoing.

They are man magnets because of their “vibe”. That is to say that their overall energy, confidence, and the way they carry themselves is highly attractive.

The great thing about this concept of sending the right vibe is that you don’t have to be talkative.

This is why introverted women have an advantage

You see, many women talk a lot, but never connect in conversation. They don’t know how to use the power of body language, subtle sensuality, and poetic communication to make a man melt.

They don’t know that there is an invisible switch within you. Flip the switch and you glow like a star for every man you meet. Men are drawn to your light and your words become secondary.

Of course, you will have to say something. But the first and most crucial step to attraction is flipping that switch and changing your vibe.

How to go from closed off to open and approachable

Have you ever been approached by a man who wasn’t your type? Did you immediately put up your shields to maximum resistance and have a “NO” ready on the tip of your tongue before he even introduced himself?

Or have you walked down the street, arms folded, head down, trying your best to send “stay away from me” vibes to the men you pass? After all, these men aren’t your soulmate. They are too young, too old, too poor, too short, too pompous.

So, you walk around with a closed vibe until you come across a man you like. And then you frantically try to take the shields down, open up, and be inviting towards him. And only him. Can you see the problem with this approach?

It’s pretty hard to make yourself invisible to every man on the continent and then suddenly glow like the sun for one special man.

The secret to changing your vibe quickly is to flick the switch before you even go out. Learn how to turn yourself on, and then glow unapologetically for every man—and every human, for that matter—you meet.

I know you might feel some resistance to this. The idea of lowering your guard seems scary and overwhelming. I’ve put together some tips to get you started.

Here are 3 ways to flick the switch and be a man magnet:

1. Allow men to approach you.

The next time ANY man approaches you, resist the urge to put up a wall. Instead, look him in the eyes and receive whatever he is offering— whether it is a compliment, an introduction, or a dinner date. Drop your shoulders, relax your face, and listen to what he has to say, even if you don’t find him the least bit attractive.

2. Look up.

In my book, The Irresistible Introvert, I talk about the power of looking up. Men are a hundred times more likely to approach you when your nose is not buried in your phone or Kindle.

When you look up, you’ll see that men are everywhere and abundant, and many of them are looking your way. They are waiting for you to send them subtle signals that you’re approachable.

3. Kill the Prince.

As an introverted woman, you probably have a pretty active imagination. You fantasize about a perfect prince of a man sweeping you off your feet. But there’s a BIG problem with this daydream.

Your One Perfect Prince doesn’t exist. And even if he does, thinking of him as the only guy for you will scare him away. No man deserves to be on a pedestal. Ever. Look up from the fantasies, darling, and you’ll see that there is an infinite pool of good men out there. Give them a chance.

Having the right vibe is important, but I also want you to know this:

You do NOT have to change your personality to be attractive to a man. Being irresistible to good men is not about pretending or striving. It’s about revealing the sensual glow that already exists within you.

For more practical tools to open up, be more sensual, and truly glow on dates, download my free First Date Checklist For Introverted Women.

I based the First Date Checklist on my experiences going on over 100 dates with men, and consulting with the world’s top dating coaches. It’s one of the only guides made by and for introverted women based on proven tools that really work for quiet gals like us.

You’ll also get exclusive dating and attraction articles on how to use poetic communication, the art of flirting without words, and so much more.

Get the First Date Checklist and Exclusive Dating Content

What about you, darling?

Can you relate to what I’ve shared today? Please do share your thoughts and questions in the comments below. I’d love to hear form you!

Share this article with a fellow innie woman who is looking for love. 😉

Lots of love,


Michaela Chung