Introverts have an active mind that won’t quit. At the best of times, thinking is a pleasant hobby that keeps us entertained. Unfortunately, our little hobby can transform into something ugly and painful pretty quickly.
Can you relate to this?
Maybe you can relate to what one of my friends shared the other day about her tormenting thoughts. She said that she has this cruel voice in her head that never shuts up.
It is always in the background criticizing her and telling her that she will never be good enough. Even when she gets as close to perfect as she possibly can, the voice still finds flaws to point out. She feels like she can never win.
If you have a nasty voice in your head, too, you know how exhausting this problem can be. After all, you can’t get rid of your brain. You kind of need it for other things.
So, what is the answer?
First of all, It’s important be aware of the voice’s power source. Once you know what is feeding the nasty voice, you can cut that mofo off, weaken it, and let a more uplifting voice take over.
You see, the critical, judgmental voice in your head is fuelled by fear. Fear makes it expand and grow like one of those sponge toys you put in water as a kid.
Before you know it, your fear feels twenty times bigger than you. Luckily there is another force that is greater than fear.
Love > Fear
I know it’s cliche, but love really is the only antidote to a fearful mind. Although you may know this already on an intellectual level, it’s hard to put the whole ‘love trumps fear’ thing into practice.
To choose love over fear, remember 3 things:
1. Fear is limiting, love is expansive.
Fear only focuses on worst-case scenarios. Love opens the door to the possibility that things can be different. Trust that you can have a new experience that allows you to finally feel free.
2. Love is unconditional, fear is highly conditional.
The nasty voice of fear tells you that you will only be worthy of love when you are perfect. Love says that you are worthy just as you are. Unconditional love has the power to heal your mind more quickly than anything else—even if it is self-love.
3. Fear is ego-based, love is heart-based.
Choosing love over fear requires that you go beyond your brain and ego. You can’t think your way out of a prison of thoughts. Finding ways to bypass your ego and listen to your heart and gut will free your mind from the nasty voice.
All of the above mindset shifts will help make your mind a safer, more loving space. But there is one more key step that will turn things around when the nasty voice is especially persistent.
This one action is the key ingredient I use to shift things quickly when self-critical thoughts make me feel anxious and frozen in place.
This works like crazy when you feel hopeless
When the nasty voice is screaming at you, pointing out every flaw and failure, stop everything and do this:
Make a declaration over the voice. If possible, take a powerful stance with your back upright and your arms straight up in the air to form a V. Tell the voice:
“You have no power over me. I have the power to create anything I want.”
Next, latch onto possibility like it is the last branch between you and a 40-foot drop. Think of what you truly WANT instead of what you are afraid of.
Freedom lies in your ability to see beyond the fear and envision the infinite possibilities on the horizon.
Above all else, always choose hope. Choose to believe that things can be different. Because they really can, my dear.
Lots of love,
Keep up the good work
Thank you for these words they are very uplifting because my brain never shuts off and I get all these negative and bad thoughts and I can’t seem to escape. so I will try what you said. I have a hard time getting out of my head.
Thanks I really believe that this helps me a lot
I truly love what you wrote. I have been away with work, but it is amazing, when we let the darkness; and there are many who are part of the club of darkness; take over and we become fearful, we get stuck.
Where we depend on love, beyond the normal hormonal love, we find, even if one door closes, another will open to send us to where we were always meant to go.
Sometimes we think we have to zig, but as we are made to zag, we find there is actually a netting set up.
More and more the darkness is becoming more and more dark. At the same time, the light is being set free of it and healing.
Take it or leave it, but a separation is happening.
I have a voice that is always negative…but not just toward me…it’s like that towards alot of things. I always feel like I hear a voice it’s just in my voice. Like it’s not really me but it sounds like me. The ks for this advice. There is a brother at my congregation I’ve been liking for a few min now. I always feel like I’m not good enough because tho I’m pretty in the face…I’m overweight and I feel like I’m disgusting because of my body and I don’t deserve a man because of it.
Thank you for this!