Introverts can behave very differently in private compared to in public. While we might come off as aloof, self-contained and even snobby around strangers and acquaintances, we can be quite the opposite when we are in the right environment with our most trusted friends.
A former coworker of mine once described her partner as extremely quiet and reserved when out with friends, but “a little monster” at home. I knew exactly what she meant. Her otherwise stoic boyfriend was talkative, silly and uninhibited with her. Like many introverts, he only revealed his other side to his most trusted companion.
This particular coworker was easygoing, very accepting and a great listener – the kind of extrovert that introverts flock to. So, it was no surprise to me that she had an introverted boyfriend who trusted her enough to be completely uninhibited in her presence.
I suspect that most introverts have an inner little monster that they only share with those who they completely trust. Because each of us is as complex and unique as a snowflake, our other side can take many forms.
Possible manifestations of an introvert’s other side:
- Silliness and a love for the ridiculous
- Strong opinions about a range of topics
- A highly sensitive and vulnerable side
- A surprising tenderness
Personally, I have a gigantic inner monster that I only completely share with one or two people. I have often worried that I should be more open with more friends.
The trouble is, I find it difficult to connect on that kind of a level with most people. I feel like all the stars must align and some sort of cosmic connection must ensue in order for me to completely open up.
After a lot of thought, I’ve concluded that all of us have an innate need to reveal our truest selves to the world. We want to give our spirit a voice; we want to share our deepest thoughts, beliefs and values; we crave a safe space to let our little monster run wild.
For introverts, this innate desire can cause frustration since we don’t go around flashing our little monster at just anyone. I think this is all the more reason to find your voice as an introvert and tell the world who you are with more than words.
In the meantime, we can be grateful for those few people who have seen our other side and accept us for who we are. They should be grateful too; they are among an elite few who have earned the love, devotion and complete trust of an introvert.
They have seen our little monster and love us all the more for it.