A lot of introverted men find it hard to know how to flirt. It’s especially challenging since the top flirting tips for men are made for extroverts.
If you’re also an older man, you may feel frustrated with flirting advice that seems immature and just plain silly for a thoughtful, mature man like yourself.
That’s why I’ve put together the top flirting tips for men who are introverted. These tips work well if you want to flirt, but tend to worry about being too forward. After all, you don’t want to come off too strong. But you also don’t want to get stuck in the friend zone.
If you’re someone who gets inside your head and feels too self-conscious to be playful, the advice I’m sharing today will help you to flirt more naturally. Because, let’s face it, trying to flirt in an overt, extroverted way feels unnatural for smart introverted men. Not only that.
Forcing yourself to be more playful and outgoing than you really are is exhausting for introverts. Today’s top flirting tips for men will play to your strengths and allow you to authentically create a spark with a woman you like.
Top 3 flirting tips for men who are introverted
Focus on connection
If you want to get better at flirting with women, it’s important to ask yourself why. What’s the intention or goal behind being good at flirting?
Chances are what you really want is to establish a connection and create chemistry. The good news is that you can do that without necessarily being playful and forward. The secret is to focus on connecting meaningfully.
How to connect with a woman:
- Ask thoughtful questions about her interests and passions.
- Share your own passions, adventures and things you’re excited about.
- Convey interest in her by showing her that you’re attracted to her.
- Use low stakes touch to create a physical connection without being too forward.
The last two points work great for introverted and older men who usually feel inhibited around women. So let’s explore exactly how to put them into action…
Convey interest naturally
How do you usually show a woman that you’re attracted to her? If you’re like a lot of introverted men—you don’t.
Instead, you may try to hide your attraction, as if you’re back in grade school and hiding a secret crush. This actually prevents connection because the key to flirting naturally is to convey interest and attraction.
Show her that you’re attracted to her by:
- Giving her a sincere compliment.
- Saying how you feel when you’re with her (“I feel great with you”, “I have so much fun with you”).
- Touching her in no-pressure ways.
If you’re not sure how to touch a woman, read on for introvert-friendly ways to introduce touch and closeness on a first date and beyond.
Are you the kind of introverted man who overthinks every move on a date? Maybe you freeze up at the very thought of kissing a woman and then miss your chance to make a move.
Or perhaps you generally feel closed off around women you’re attracted to. Instead of touching her in flirtatious ways, you keep your hands (and thoughts and feelings) to yourself.
The good news is that there is a natural progression to touch. It’s actually better to start off with ‘low stakes’ forms of touch before you progress to kissing and other more intimate forms of touch.
What does this natural progression look like?
- Hug her when you greet her at the beginning of the date.
- Establish a connection with meaningful conversation.
- Read her signals and if she seems to be enjoying herself, introduce proximity (closeness) and touch.
How to create closeness and touch naturally:
- Sit beside her rather than across from her.
- Lean into her shoulder a bit.
- Allow for ‘incidental’ touch, such as brushing arms and hands.
- Gently pat her hand or arm in conversation when making a point or to get her attention.
- Open the door for her and place your hand on the small of her back for a couple of seconds as you guide her through.
Remember that it’s important to pay attention to her body language as you incorporate touch. If she pulls away or seems uncomfortable, give her some space.
Start off by just trying one or two forms of low stakes touch so that you don’t overwhelm her.
More flirting tips for introverted men
When it comes to flirting and creating chemistry with a woman, there are a few specifics you’ll want to keep in mind.
For example, there are certain conversation topics and questions that help create a spark and build connection quickly. There are also some key mindsets and behaviors that will dramatically boost your appeal to women.
I go into detail about all of the above in my Flirting Guide for Introverted Men. Grab it for free here.