Heartbreak is one of the most painful emotions anyone will ever face. But INFJ heartbreak is something far worse.
A huge majority of INFJs are highly sensitive and empaths. When an INFJ goes through heartbreak, we feel as if somebody took our heart out of our chest, and blocked our mind from all thinking. We silently go through immense hurt and don’t know how to let go. We experience something that I call…
The quiet pain of INFJ heartbreak
INFJs don’t play the victim role. Even when we are heartbroken, rarely will you see us show it in public. Before finding my true purpose, I can’t count the number of days when I had to go to work heartbroken and constantly on the verge of tears. But I never allowed for anyone to see this.
INFJ heartbreak is an emotion so painful, that even as I’m writing this, memories are pouring in and overwhelming me. When our heart is broken into pieces, no words of comfort can ease how we feel. We hold that pain inside, quietly hoping that no one will notice it. But we can only hold on for so long.
The aftermath of INFJ heartbreak is that we don’t know how to let go. Let me remind you, we are protectors, guardians, and counselors. So letting go is an unknown word in our dictionary.
Don’t worry, I got you covered. I’ve gathered all my strength, despite crying the whole time writing this, to share with you seven reasons why INFJs can’t let go after heartbreak.
1. We overthink, but also over-love.
When an INFJ loves someone, this is such a deep bond that it is almost unbreakable. When it ends, it’s a world unknown for INFJs, because we have given it everything we got. We then start asking ourselves: “How could this happen, now what?”
2. We believe it’s our fault this happened.
The inevitable guilt comes as a result of the belief that we should have done more to prevent the INFJ heartbreak. Don’t forget, we are our own worst critics, and nowhere is this more expressed than when an INFJ has to let go after heartbreak.
3. We should have done more.
Next comes pressure and self-sabotage. INFJs struggle to let go, because there’s this obnoxious feeling that we subconsciously sabotaged the relationship, and haven’t done enough. We start doubting that we’ll ever find someone who will accept us. We don’t want to let go, because in our mind, we should have done more.
4. We believe we can still fix this.
Even after the relationship is over, an INFJ will still analyze what happened and try to bring thing back to the way they used to be. Deep inside, we know it’s over, but our heart refuses to accept it. This makes it much more difficult to let go.
5. We think no one will ever accept us again.
The greatest fear of an INFJ is loneliness. INFJs will even go against everything we believe in to escape it. Letting go after an INFJ heartbreak is like a volcano eruption. First comes a warning shockwave, and then a lava of emotions that no INFJ ever wants to feel.
6. We thought he/she was our soul mate.
If an INFJ believes they found their soul mate, this makes letting go all the more problematic. We are used to being misunderstood, so if a person who understands us enters our life, and then leaves it, it’s like everything that we ever wanted is gone. In this case, letting go is like an impossible mission for an INFJ.
7. We fear the future.
Imagine that you were with someone who meant the world to you, someone with whom you planned a bright future. But now that person has left, and you have no idea what to do next. For an INFJ, letting someone go feels like a part of our soul has been taken, causing the future to become blurry.
I know all too well how much heartbreak hurts, my dear INFJ. But sometimes, the only thing that we can do is let go. You are not surrendering, and you’re not giving up on yourself. You are moving on, because you need to take care of yourself, too.
Letting go is a sign of strength
Every single person who breaks your heart is a lesson that you had to learn. Some lessons will just be bullets in your book of life. Some will be the title of a chapter. One day, you’ll meet the one who will give your book the main headline.
Give yourself the permission to grieve and cry. Allow your soul time to heal from INFJ heartbreak. Life will never close one door to you without opening another, better one. Open those doors and embrace a new, shinning beginning, because happiness is your birthright.
If you’re interested in connecting with other INFJs from around the world, join Introvert Spring’s private INFJ forum. You’ll also gain access to unique INFJ log posts, a member directory, private messaging, and so much more. Go here to get a sneak peek inside the private INFJ forum.
How do you deal with INFJ heartbreak?
How much time do you need to heal? Please feel free to share your experience and thoughts in the comment section below, I would love to hear from you on this sensitive, but meaningful topic.
P.S. We’ll be doing an encore of the 6 Steps To Deal With INFJ Loneliness INFjam this Tuesday Nov. 7th. These INFJams are interactive webinars covering topics that matter to INFJs. Go here to join this Tuesday’s loneliness INFJam.