INFJs are champions of overthinking. No matter the situation, we’ll overthink and analyze it. It’s impossible for us to stop thinking and shut down. However, INFJs are also gold medalists at over-loving. INFJ love is deep and intense. There’s no middle ground for the INFJ personality. It’s all in or nothing at all for us.

It’s impossible for an INFJ to bring our mind to a complete stop. For the same reason, no matter how many times we get hurt, INFJ love is like a candle that will always shine with warmth and safety. That’s why I always say…

I overthink, but I also over-love

Balance is often mentioned as a good way to approach every emotion, including love. Well, you can forget about that with INFJs. We are either incredibly warm and caring, or cold as ice. There’s nothing in between. A fact I know all too well.

My ex-girlfriend told me a few years back that she could not handle my deep emotions. That wasn’t the only time when I heard that statement. But this one was different for one reason.

The feeling “I’m not worthy” followed me for months after her words. I doubted myself to the point where even the things that made me happy, such as playing video games and stargazing, felt empty and meaningless. The main culprit for this was, of course, overthinking.

Back then, I failed to see my uniqueness and that not everyone will be able to handle my complicated, but authentic nature. I overthink, but I also love with such an intensity that even I don’t know how to handle it at times. I’m a fierce believer that the right people will never question or reject the INFJ love we so selflessly give.

Celebrate your caring nature

Don’t you dare drown out your emotions because of someone else’s inability to see them, dear. Instead, celebrate your INFJ love.

Respect boundaries

Respect the boundaries you receive and give. The INFJ love you share with others is a beautiful thing, but you also need to respect how others feel about it. This is crucial for having that deep bond and understanding we so crave. But there’s a catch.

INFJs believe that over-loving is the main cause of abandonment. It’s not. The truth is, overthinking causes more problems and abandonment than love ever will. I know how you feel about loving too much, and I know what goes on in that beautiful mind of yours. That’s why I’m here to tell you a little secret.

Overthinking has its purpose

Overthinking can help you discover hidden problems you couldn’t notice otherwise. It can also improve a friendship or relationship by encouraging you to solve certain issues. Speaking of improvement, whatever you may think, know that your loving INFJ nature doesn’t impede the quality of your connections. What you need to do is always…

INFJ love is deep and unconditional

Regardless of the feedback, don’t stop loving those closest to you. Make no mistake, you will overthink their actions and words. But this is who we are. I believe few things are more powerful than INFJ love.

Throughout life, INFJs are humiliated, mocked, and abandoned. This is why we overthink so much when we see someone as a potential friend or partner. We even go as far as that we swallow our beliefs if that will make that person smile, even for a second. Some would say that’s bad, but I don’t think so.

So in case you’re struggling to remember it, here’s a gentle reminder.

Don’t think for a second that your caring nature makes you less lovable. Honor the boundaries you receive, because they will help improve that friendship or a relationship. Hell, continue overthinking, as you share you INFJ love with someone special. But whatever you do, please, love yourself as well. <3
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What are your thoughts?

What are your thoughts on the INFJ love? Do you love without restraints, or do you approach it carefully? I would appreciate to hear your opinion on this, so feel free to have your say in the comment section below. ☺



Marko Kircanski INFJ coaching