The INFJ personality is the rarest Myers-Briggs type. These unique butterflies comprise only 1% of the world’s population.
Even to Carl Jung, who is widely considered to be the founder of the personality examination, INFJs are the “mysterious ones”.
Few understand the complex beauty of an INFJ mind. Many are intrigued by its deep understanding, and intuition.
It is extremely rare to meet an INFJ personality in person. Everyone, including myself, will confirm that this is a special moment. You are not just meeting anyone, you are meeting a rare gem.
Rare, but extremely valuable
Even though I am an INFJ myself, I have never met one in person. However, I am lucky that several of my closest friends are INFJs. We haven’t met in real life yet, but having a virtual INFJ friend can also be wonderful!
Speaking through Skype, my INFJ friend and I admitted that we are “scared” of how we will react when we first meet. The meeting of two INFJs is the equivalent of winning a lottery two times in a row.
Many INFJs I speak with on a daily basis have the same problem. Because we are people oriented, we act like a small colony of meerkats when we find each other. We cherish and protect one another. Quality over quantity best describes an INFJ meeting. ☺
What’s important to know about the INFJ personality?
What’s crucial to understand about INFJs is that we know we are rare. We know that the majority of people don’t understand us. This is why we value our own company more than anything. However, we care deeply about other people. For us, humanity represents a well of inspiration, and motivation.
Sounds confusing, right? Allow me to explain.
Our personality, although introverted, is oriented towards people.
Our levels of kindness, understanding and acceptance are legendary! We thrive on helping others to succeed, because their success makes us happy.
Being the rarest personality type brings several challenges. Here are the most common ones:
Challenges INFJs face
1. We don’t “fit in” anywhere.
Due to our rarity and uniqueness, it’s hard to find people who understand us. We often think, “I am not good enough”, which has a devastating effect on our complex mind.
2. We think there is something wrong with us.
Almost every INFJ I spoke with said this. We think there is something wrong with us because we act differently. We feel broken, like a car ready to be carried away for repairs.
3. We are more lonely than other introvert types.
For INFJs, there is no middle ground. The very core of our being is “all in”, or nothing at all. This is why loneliness hits INFJs so hard. We want to connect deeply with the right people.
Of course, there are also many advantages to being such an authentic diamond.
Unique Strengths of the INFJ personality
INFJs possess huge levels of empathy, understanding, and intuition. We also have awesome listening, and organizational skills. I can go on, but we will focus on the primary INFJ personality strengths here.
INFJs are the “counselors”, the ones who are always there. We gladly sacrifice our own plans and time in order to help someone. When an INFJ opens up to you, know that you are special. We simply don’t do that often.
We notice all those little details that everyone else misses. I call INFJs “the walking radars”. We notice everything, and I mean everything.
We see when someone we cherish is sad, and we sense their sadness like it’s our own.
Our empathy, and emotions are other-worldly. Our intuition is so strong, even our fellow introverts are caught off guard.
You can compare us with moon dust. It’s said that one handful of moon dust is worth more than hundreds of tons of gold, and diamonds.
Gentle, understanding, and complex, INFJs make this world a little more beautiful, and a lot more interesting.
As one of the most famous INFJs in history, Gandhi, said:
“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” ☺
Martin Luther King
James Wilson (for all “House” series fans ☺ )
Aragorn (and one for all the LOTR fans)
If you’re interested in connecting with other INFJs from around the world, join Introvert Spring’s private INFJ forum. We are truly a buzzing community! You’ll gain access to unique and 100% private discussions, INFJ blog posts, member events, and videos.
What are your thoughts about this rare and unique personality type? I would love to hear your experiences and insights! ☺
Hi Michaela! I hope you still remember me. 🙂 I just want you to know how much you have helped me in conquering my fears and insecurities as an introvert. I am an INTJ too. True that our type is quite different from the rest because it is innate in us to have the determination to change the world and actually do it on our own. We have the intuition that is so badass that people will come wonder how the heck do we know so much. This may make you feel weird about yourself but really, this is something that only our types have and I find it cool being that way. In my case I can also feel emotions of animals and even the feelings hidden inside of a stranger. I have used this intuition to understand people more and the beauty of being human. There are so much more that we can offer and I assure you even when we’re of the same type, our individual intuitions are not that similar too — even the rarest kind have those unique abilities in each of them, a different kind of intuition governed by how we have lived our lives individually. The whole process of being commonly diverse is the real beauty of it. It’s not just our type actually, if you come to “study” other types too, you can find something that makes them special in their category. I do hope that you would always continue guiding our fellow innies until they can gradually understand how unique they are like how you did it to me (without you even noticing lol). I am currently taking Medicine and will be a doctor soon. Few more steps and my goals of changing the world will be within my reach. I know you guys can have your own way of changing the world too and I believe in you. I know deep down that sooner or later, we will all meet. Stay awesome fellow innies!
Hi emmycabana! Thank you so much for what you wrote here. 🙂 I am absolutely sure that Michaela appreciates your warm, kind support you have shown here. 🙂
This is so right on, it’s almost freaky. Very COOL indeed.
You are so welcome Gayle! Glad you like the article. 🙂
I’m so glad! I’m the only INFJ that I know and I really want to find someone who wants company like me!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is extremely difficult to be INFJ in this world; I have yet to meet somebody that understands me and accepts me for who I am…. and who can take the time to wait for me to open up to him/her.
You are most welcome TheAngieIshmael! I fully agree with you, it’s not easy finding another INFJ, and being an INFJ… But you have my full support and understanding! Remember, you are great, just the way you are! 🙂
Thanks so much for the insights! I’m an INFP female dating and INFJ male and this is a complicated thing. A lovely and amazingly beautiful complicated thing. Never thought I’d find someone more complicated than myself. And I can’t believe I’m asking this, but how do I show my INFJ guy that I get him or I’m trying to get him. Especially when you guys detach and want space. Reach out, don’t reach out? Say what? I’m at a loss and would love some advice.
You are most welcome Debbie! Thank you for asking this question, and no worries, of course I will give you an advice. 🙂
The answer is in what you wrote: “Especially when you guys detach and want space”. This is the key. When we, as INFJs, want space (solitude, being alone, meditate ect…), simply let your INFJ partner to have the space he desires. Trust me, there is no better way to earn our appreciation, than accepting and honoring our need for being alone. Sentence like this for example, is like a beautiful music to our ears: “I fully understand, and accept that you want to detach sometimes, and be alone with your thoughts.” In this sentence you are showing your partner that you care, that you understand, and that you accept him for who he is. Apply the same principle everywhere else. Acceptance, understanding and honesty are the keys for winning the heart of an INFJ. Hope this helps. 🙂
Im am a infj to. Now reading this it all makes sense. I try to make everyone else happy so much that i forget to make my self happy. I try to make people feel better about themselves, scan their feeling. I want to find a way to make them truly happy. Then there are the people who when i try and fail. And keep trying and keep failing i feel like its my fault that they keep letting me down. Then for a while i feel like I’m broken with and i will never be able to fix the feeling i am feeling.
Article is spot on! I have always resonated with the intensity and range of emotion that Alanis Morissette (also an INTJ) displayed in her earlier songs. Not surprisingly, when I desired to meet her, about 12 years ago, I located her mother. We met over coffee. She was down to earth and transparent. And yet, the experience was incredibly rich because of that.
Thank you so much Monique MacKinnon! I’m glad you can resonate with the article. 🙂 Wow! That is so amazing that you have met her in person! 🙂
I am an INFJ. For years I struggled with feelings of not fitting in this world and always thought there was something wrong with me. Depression followed me for years. Now, finally I understand and that knowledge has resulted in a sense of peace within me that makes the years of suffering acceptable and to a degree necessary. I finally am able to enjoy and accept the uniqueness that is me. Thank you.
Hi Cyndi! Believe me when I say, there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You have an wonderful personality! I am so glad to hear that you are enjoying the fact that you are an authentic, and a rare gem. 🙂 You are always welcome!
I believe this personality type tends to purposely search out ‘their own’ before birth, likely having lived lives together in the past, so you can find a few in the same family.
As such, it doesn’t occur to us for a while, that we are unique. We just think we’re ‘like our dad or mom…’ and our sons/daughters are ‘like us.’
Then, trying to work with some who are unbelievably shallow (to us), we start to realize we Are different. Certainly, they can see we’re ‘different’ and they don’t generally appreciate it, at all.
Hi Dorothy! This is an really interesting insight, thank you so much for sharing it. I agree, some people simply don’t appreciate our personality, who we are. They ignore fact that we stand out from the crowd (which is amazing by the way 🙂 ).
What about if you are a ENFJ? How are they different from a INFJ.
Hi Patricia! The main difference is in the “E” letter, since ENFJs, roughly translate possess: Extroverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition. 🙂 So that extroverted feeling makes the difference, but these two personalities go along amazingly well!
Great post, as usual. 🙂
I had responded to an email sent out by Michaela today on this subject of feeling like there was “something wrong” with me because of the indifferent way in which I could view the world. For me, I never really felt like there was something “wrong”. I was cognisant that there was something different… but it was special. Here is a portion of my reply and please let me know what you think as I value your input.
“I knew that I my outlook on life was very different from everyone I would encounter, but this allowed me to have a very personal and colorful relationship with a side of life reserved only for those who could access it. I never thought there was something “wrong” with me. Just a disconcerting feeling of fear that I was a “one of kind” person and would never find that “someone” who could relate to me on the levels I could with them.”
Hi Daniel! Thank you so much! 🙂
You wrote this wonderfully! It perfectly explains our personality, and I am amazed of your awareness. Amazingly written!
I also had this feeling of not finding someone who would understand me, and I think most INFJs face this.
Thank you for a reassuring article 🙂
Do you suppose that in LOTR, Frodo was also INFJ? I have read that his is a classic fictional INFJ character…
You are most welcome Niyor Medhi ! Hm, could be. He shows the traits of being one, so it could be that’s the case. 🙂
I have come across an article mentioning he’s an INFP,so who knows.
INFJ. I have always felt like I just don’t belong… I can go for long periods where I blend in, do what is expected of me… but it gets exhausting. And as a parent, it is extremely tiresome. Very hard to stay away from confrontation when you are raising a head-strong teen. Some days it just drains every ounce of energy I have… I love my daughter, but parenting is def. a struggle. Great site… does help explain a lot. Luckily I have a wonderful husband who understands my need to retreat 🙂
Hi idoni808! I believe you that it’s not easy, especially being an INFJ parent…
I am glad that you have a husband who understands you, and that you found the site. 🙂
I can’t believe there are so many of you like me out there, for once in my life I feel like someone gets me. Am so glad right now it’s unbelievable. It’s funny I share Nelson Mandela’s Birthday and his personality too. I have struggled so much with myself since I was a child am surrounded by extroverts who think am depressed because “am always sad” I don’t date much because I can’t meet anyone who gets me and am now 34 if this doesn’t sound bad I don’t know what is. But on this day I have stumbled on to this article and there is a deep sense of comfort I feel inside so thank you.
Hi Mukami! You are definitely not alone. 🙂 I’m happy to sense the pure joy that comes from you, and yes, you are understood here. 🙂
What you said doesn’t sound bad, because I truly believe that you will find that person who will accept you, just the way you are. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You have an wonderful personality!
Thank you for your kind words, and you are most welcome. 🙂
speaking of dating, and the rarity of our INFJ personality type, do you know of any MBTI dating sites out there? In your opinion, would two INFJ’s be a perfect match?
I managed to find two dating sites which are based on the MBTI: projectevolove and typetango.
Since I am currently in a relationship with an INFJ, I can freely say that it’s a great match. 🙂 This is of course my opinion, since we are all unique. INFJ/INFJ relationships tend to work well, because of the deep level of care, understanding, emotions, acceptance and empathy we have as a personality.
Great post Marko! I definitely can relate to everything in this article. It’s quite mind-blowing as I’ve always felt so alone. You’re right though, we’re completely ignored or brushed aside because we’re different. Prior to taking the Myer-Briggs, I’ve always felt like such an outsider so I became to be like “everyone else”. There’s so much more to me and your words made me feel so comforted for being who I am. Thank you!
Thank you so much TranofThoughts! I can relate and understand your feeling of being alone… Believe me when I say, there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You have an amazing INFJ personality, and I’m happy to hear this article made you feel this way. 🙂 You are most welcome!
After reading this article I feel extremely lucky and blessed to have my little suster in my life who is also a INFJ. We were always super close and seemed like we were the only two that understood each other in my family of mostly ESTPs.
I’m so glad to hear that you have your little sister who is an INFJ like yourself, and that you always understood each other. 🙂
I’m an INFJ, and I’m one of those very blessed INFJs who has several INFJ friends. One of them is my lecturer, another from Church, and another couple of them are people I know from my classes or around my university. It’s true though, that we are very often misunderstood, and in a way, that’s what keeps us together so strongly. Somehow, it also helps us to understand others better, because whatever we have experienced can sometimes be a lot worse than other personality types. Some say suffering makes an INFJ, true though that can be sometimes, it’s not the only thing that makes us who we are. There is so much to us that many, even ourselves, do not understand. We’re the walking paradox personality – we are “social” introverts, because our interest in human welfare is strongly rooted in who we are. We’re still able to be the quietest ones, and when we withdraw, sometimes people panic, thinking there’s something wrong – nope, we could well just be recharging the batteries “like the artificial intelligence downloading data”, as I like to say. We’re NF types, but capable of being very logical (often getting mistaken for thinking types), and then there’s the extreme procrastination we’re capable of, but we’re supposed to be “Judging” types… OPS 😛 But you see, that’s just who we are and how we are. When we learn to accept ourselves for who we are and stop caring too much about what everyone else thinks, or what nonsense personality disorder they seem to think introversion, let alone INFJ is, then we can really flourish as ourselves. 🙂
Anyway, if any INFJs want to connect, then do just drop me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m writing a magazine about leadership identity and personality types etc. Feel free to contribute or just connect. 🙂
Kim Lee (INFJ)
Hi Kim! Thank you so much for sharing this! Everything you said about INFJs is spot on! 🙂
One more comment just to say amazing post ! Well written and so happy to finally understand exactly the reason why I am this way.
Maybe now I can finally start working on the loneliness issue.
Thank you !
Thank you so much nor007 for your kind, and understanding words! I’m glad to hear the article is helping you.
You are most welcome! 🙂
Hello everyone! Today I finally took the test to get to know what type of personality I have. I was a bit skeptical about the whole idea of taking the test in first place. But after a lot of thought I took it and I just found out that I am an INFJ. I took the test three times and all the time the same result. So I decided to learn more about this type of personality and it perfectly check marks all the type of behavior that I exhibit.
Hi venkateshprajwal! I’m glad you took the test, and that the results were that you are an INFJ. 🙂 Believe me, you have an wonderful personality!
Just wow. This article helps me understand myself. I am an INFJ, and since I was a kid I always feel I don’t fit in. I don’t have any friends and always by myself the reason I am being bullied by other kids. I feel being rejected and they never treated me well because I can’t simply be like them. There is no day that I don’t cry because I think there is something wrong with me and that I’m not good enough. So I change myself everything of me just to be accepted. I pushed myself to be in a group friends, joined social clubs and orgs. and chose a college course that needs to deal with people but it never helped. It drained all my energy and I don’t feel myself anymore. Now I’m 18, and I still have life to continue. I already understand that it’s OK TO BE DIFFERENT. I am starting now to embrace my Introversion and get myself back. THANKYOU. ( Pardon for any wrong grammar. I’m not good at English 🙂 )
Hi Abegail! I understand you, all too well… I experienced the same thing you are going through, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Please know, there is nothing wrong with you. You are great, just the way you are! You are not alone, and you have my complete support. 🙂
No need to apologize, your English is amazing! I’m glad to hear you are embracing who you are. 🙂 I’m so happy to hear this article helped you!
This is me! Totally!
Glad to hear you can relate Tiona! 🙂
Finally learning that I have a very rare personality, an INFJ, and what that is, is very liberating. I’m not weird, just unique. And it’s great to find out that there are others out there like me! Thanks so much for the article!
I’m happy to hear that discovering your INFJ personality makes you feel liberating Tiona. Absolutely, you are great just the way you are, and you are most welcome! Glad you like the article. 🙂
Thanks again, Marko! Look forward to more articles like this on this site.
You are most welcome Tiona! 🙂
Even though I have accepted myself as an INFJ, I still don’t feel belong in crowds or among a group of people. Always awkward or clumsy, I feel left out. I’m always the last one to know about office occurrences, not that I care much. Still I am that odd ball who has been taken for granted and forgotten. To escape from the harsh reality, I tend to daydream, reflect inside, listen to music, and immerse myself in my work.
I know another INFJ in my office. We would have been great friends. However, due to some deep misunderstanding, we are avoiding each other. It’s very sad. When I thought I had finally found someone who understood me, that bond was broken because of a foolish act. I have never regretted what I have or haven’t done, but that was one big regret I can never turn the clock back on. It really hurts a lot.
I can really relate with your feeling, and completely understand it. I’m really sorry to hear about what happened with your INFJ co-worker, but I hope that at some point, the damage will be repaired.
Thanks for posting that article, I enjoyed reading it.
A few years ago out of curiousity I did one of the online tests and came out as INFJ – I read a bit about it but never really thought much more about it. Then this weekend I happened to try a few of them again – similar results, although the F/T one is always marginal and I did once come out on the ‘T’ side of it.
Having done some reading on it, it does explain a number of my personality traits as well. However, although it’s a really useful indicator, I think the result should be used with caution; although we may fall under the INFJ heading, we are all individuals after all, and independently-minded individuals at that. I’d always be wary of stating ‘I am an INFJ’, partly because there must be more to everyone’s personality than that, but mainly because I really dislike labels of any kind, even meaningful ones!
I have only one person that I can discuss deep, personal things with, and that’s my sister. We are quite different, and I’d always thought of her as an extrovert. Compared to me, she is, but that might just be because I’m almost off the scale for introversion any time I do one of the online tests. Thinking of it in some more depth today, it now wouldn’t surprise me if she scored as a ‘less-extreme’ introvert, and she strongly exhibits much of the behaviour associated with an INFJ personality – moreso than me in some cases. I must try to persuade her to do one of the tests, as I’m intrigued to see her scores.
You are most welcome Socks, I’m happy to hear you enjoyed reading it. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your wonderful insight on this!
Hi! Your article, every word gave me a rare feeling that another human knows exactly what it is. unbelievable ! I always thought its a non starter even to try to explain. Good Marko.
Thank you so much Nabiha for your kind words! You are definitely not alone, and I’m glad my article helped you. 🙂
As n INFJ-T, I guess I’m a “people’s person” in that I love to probe people’s minds and go deep into finding out who they are really and how they think and so on. I’m not quite sure why I didn’t pursue an appropriate career, like psychology or psychiatry, but when it was time to make college decisions I had NO clue who I was. I have a calling for helping people out, but only if it’s a matter of life or death. If I hear someone calling out for help, I won’t ignore it like 99% of strangers. But if it’s for small, irrelevant things, I’m generally too busy to respond. I’m also very annoyed when people, especially people I have just met, ask me questions, mostly because I have an odd profile (I’m much older than I look, I have changed a million jobs and I have lived on my own in many countries) and it seems to confuse people who can’t instantly label me as something specific. In fact I generally come up with some simple background story that doesn’t make me stand out too much in social situations. It ain’t easy being me. It never was.
Thanks shestoointroverted for sharing your insight on this. Until I found my purpose, my life calling, I changed so many jobs that I simply lost count… If I learned something, it’s that there was a reason behind it. I believe that it isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Keep moving forward, do not stop, everything that has happened to you has a purpose, and you will find it, you’ll see. 🙂
Wow, thank you so much Marko for this insightful post. I, too am an INFJ and can tell by reading your words how much wisdom and introspection you have. The amount of empathy I possess has always been my greatest gift yet biggest curse. I feel so strongly for others but I can only absorb so much before I have to retreat and be alone. It’s such a strange paradox to crave those deep connections but only be able to tolerate so much before it becomes overwhelming. I used to think I was too fragile for this world. In some ways I still do. But I know what a rare gift it is to possess this degree of emotional empathy and there’s nothing more rewarding than giving it to someone in need. Everything about this article is beautiful and I’m so glad I discovered this blog!
You are most welcome Amber, thank you so much for your kind and understanding words. 🙂 I can completely relate with you when it comes to empathy, deep emotions, overwhelm, since I am an HS INFJ empath too, and believe me, empathy is a beautiful gift! It’s not easy having it, but it is so rewarding. I’m glad you found the site, and thank you once again for your lovely words! 🙂
Wow! A whole community of folks like me, this is like a peak experience for real. It took so many years to get through so much “stuff” that comes with being an INFJ. I grew up always thinking there was something wrong with me, I wasn’t like everyone else. I saw things so differently. I had the opportunity to grow up both in the city and the country, we had a family farm away from the city. I couldn’t wait to to get to the farm and head for the woods. I could spend the whole day in the woods, just myself, laying on the ground looking up at the sky. I learned the art of the muse at an early age. I would write my thoughts out then ask my parents about the things I was thinking about, they of course didn’t get it. I get that now, we can only operate from what we know, they just didn’t understand and that’s okay. They couldn’t understand why I would rather be in my room with my pastels, and drawing, with my books, writing or just lost in my thoughts than I would be outside playing with the other kids. it wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t relate to them, it was awkward at best. Anyway, we all know the story, most of us experienced it growing up and later in life. Relationships would become nightmares, always thinking it was all my fault, it was me, there is something wrong with me. I have been a fan of C.G. Jung, Abraham Maslow and Roberto Assagioli for many years. But, being aware of being a highly sensitive person, an INFJ didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Now, I am so very good with who I am, it has been a long road to here but I am here now. I am so very happy to be me, I am more content than I have been since I was that young boy laying in the woods lost in a muse over fifty years ago. Once I found my way back to me, who I have always been, the artist and writer. Once I stopped trying to be someone else, trying to “fit in” and please everyone else. I stopped trying to meet everyone’s expectations of who they thought I should be, taking care of everyone’s needs at the expense of mine, it was an epiphany, truly a peak experience. The road home has been long and difficult at times but it is so good to be back home at last.
Indeed it would be a rare event to meet someone by chance, if you believe in chance, that is another INFJ. I have traveled many paths over the years, started out as a Pastor after getting out of the military in 1972. I just couldn’t buy into the dogma, so I left. Actually I was asked to leave, my “unconventional” ways of seeing things was not at all appreciated. I traveled many paths after that, spiritual and otherwise. Got a masters in Human Services at one point, tried being the social worker, I couldn’t do it. It took me a while to learn how not to make everyone’s stuff my stuff, it would be overwhelming. Long story short, I eventually found Soto Zen. Wow, people that valued silence and being in their own thoughts and being there without any notions or judgments. Sitting Zazen was a an amazing experience of going deep within one self with no judgments, it was freeing. I know this is a very familiar story to everyone here, the same story, we have all lived it, if your an INFJ, this has been your story for the most part. But know this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, find your way back to you, take the road that leads you home.
I am thrilled to have stumbled upon this site, thanks for being here. I believe I am going to so much enjoy this.
Thanks so much or sharing this mosheyager, really! You are definitely not alone, and I am happy that you found the site. 🙂
Moshe – this is so similar to my story; thanks for sharing. it is so restorative to have found this site! Healing. uplifting. inspiring.
I’m in tears…. I need this. I don’t even know you but u helped me by reading this .. I have so much to say n so overwhelmed by life but just know it helped me. <3
I’m glad to hear the article and the comments helped you, and had such a profound effect on you, Laur. 🙂
Thanks for an awesome site. As I read the previous comments, I found myself agreeing with a lot that was being said. I’m an INFJ and have struggled with being misunderstood and considered different most of my growing up years. I grew up on a farm, loved nothing better than to go for long walks, spend time alone. School was really a challenge. For years I felt lost and alone. Once I found my calling- working with children I found people who took the time to get to know me and accept my uniqueness.
Hi GEM! I can completely understand you about misunderstanding, and the feeling of being different. School was also not easy for me, so I really relate with your words. However, I am glad that you found your calling, and that you found people who accept you just the way you are! 🙂 Thanks for you kind words about the site, the heart and soul behind it is Michaela Chung. 🙂
I just discovered this site, and I am loving it! I’m a bit nervous meeting (anyone), but would love to be connected to other INFJ’s. Thank you for all your articles, aside from being entertaining, they help me to do some serious introspection.
I’m happy you found the site Moriyyah, and that you like it! You are most welcome, nice to meet you! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words, I’m glad to hear my articles help you. 🙂
Being an INFJ, is indeed challenging as nobody seems to understand us be it family, friends, colleagues etc……I thought I was abnormal when I couldn’t relate to others and their way of living…I was horrified by the idea of marriage and sharing my space with someone as I always felt better when alone than when surrounded by people and in India, women are expected to care not only for their husband but the entire family, a notion which really drives me crazy as I care alot for anyone who lives with me. It is difficult for me to care to such an extent for more than one person at a time. I thought I would go insane if I had to live in a joint family. I understand now that it is my unique personality which made me think that way and not that I am selfish or uncaring!!! But at the same time, I need one special person with whom I can relate to and connect easily, someone who understands my need for space and alone time and gives me the freedom to do things my way….it is so hard to find the right person who feels the same way….
There is nothing wrong with you Richa, there never was. You have an amazing personality! Not many will understand us, this is true. You are not being selfish, far from it. As much as we care for others, we must care for ourselves too. I believe you, it’s not easy to find that special person, but you will find it, I assure you. It’s only a matter of time. Keep looking and remember, you are great, just the way you are!
Thanks Marko for the reassurance….I have always been criticised for my weird attitude towards people and life. I often withdraw when there is conflict and explaining myself to my family has been a challenge. Due to my powerful intuition, I understand people’s motives and actions in subtle ways but it was indeed difficult to convince my parents. Life’s been very challenging and difficult but am atleast grateful to God for my gift of intuition which enables me to see beyond the mask . I once secretly wished if I could read people’s mind so that I can avoid being cheated as people often try to manipulate me and harm me….I hope to rely on my intuition more from now and less on people’s advice which is often misleading. Wish you and Michaela a Very Happy New Year-2017!!! Thanks alot for spreading the light of awareness, till now we were living in the dark….
You are most welcome Richa! Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂 Happy New Year to you too, and keep being who you are because you are great, just the way you are! 🙂
I am an INFJ. ive been exploring myself for years. my mothers told me that i was weird one out of 5 siblings. i dont fit in society but now i somehow manage to blend in with my workplace and i am quite happy that i can -i would not say ‘pretend’- camouflage within my workplace. after 2 years of trying. LOL.
i’m getting healed. been thinking that i was broken for 12 years. i guess we will be better as we grow. always believe in that.
i’m glad that i bumped to this page. thank you. thank you.
Hi nadrah! Please know that there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You have an amazing INFJ personality, and you are amazing, just the way you are! 🙂
I’m glad you found the site, and you are most welcome. 🙂
wow..!! Nice artical Marko.. i always thought I’ve some problem, I’m Not normal, sometimes i try to change myself.. after read your artical i understand i’m not abnormal, weird or different.. don’t know in a good way or bad.. but yeah.. Now i’ve some hope..
Thank You Marko.. 🙂
Thanks Megha! 🙂 Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You have an amazing INFJ personality! You are most welcome! I’m so glad my article gave you hope. 🙂
Echoing what everyone else has said, this article is so reaffirming for me. It is so very well written. Every word hit home. Like many others, I always knew I was different and thought perhaps there was something wrong with me. One difference though is that even though I knew I was not like others, I resolved early in life to just be myself, even if that meant lonliness. The thought of being a fake extrovert never appealed to me and I know I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off for 5 minutes! My sister and I are very close but me coming two years after a true social-butterfly extrovert, even my parents worried that there was something wrong with me! (though they never treated me as such). I’ve known I was an INFJ but it wasn’t until Introvert Spring that I realized my personality type was so rare. Its certainly not the easiest personality type to have in this world but its a beautiful challenge that I’m glad I was chosen to possess.
Thank you Andrea! I’m happy that you found Introvert Spring. Trust me, as much as our personality is rare, it is unique and amazing! 🙂 Oh, and more thing, there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. 🙂
I too am an INFJ. And I agree that we are hard to understand and that we are rare. Though I seem to grasp people well, many cannot grasp me, though they try so hard to do so. I found this article on Pinterest, which lead me to create an account. And I am so glad I did. Though I am quite young, many believe that I am much older, and see me more on their level, though they may be 10 years older than me. How do I know this? Because I, like many others can feel how others feel, and I find that I blend in well with my coworkers, and others that I am around often. This is a great article, and it’s very insightful and relatable. When I discovered that I am an INFJ over the summer, the world became brighter, and much more clear to me. I also felt like I was alone, but now I know that I am not. Thank you so much for writing this article. And though even my parents don’t understand me, I hope that by learning how to understand myself, I can help them to understand me over time.
I’m glad you found the article Jordan, and that you made the account. 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind words! I fully understand and can relate with the feeling you had when you discovered that you are an INFJ, and what it meant to you.
You are most welcome, and I understand you. You are not alone. 🙂
Great article… absolutely spot on! Many thanks. I, too, am an INFJ and would like to add my comment. I discovered my ‘INFJ’-ness at a staff meeting many years ago and the guy running the meeting suggested to our small group of INFJs that we develop friendships with each other if we hadn’t already done so. There were a few giggles around us because we were the ones who kept to ourselves and were considered the geeks. As it happened we did, and after years of moving around the country we have still maintained close contact. For me, knowing there were others sharing my difference made the journey easier. I am a forced extrovert in my job and crave my alone time. I have been lonely only twice in my life and on both occasions was surrounded by people and could not escape. It has been great being able to talk about how ‘strangely’ we think other people act. Needless to say, we have a healthy self image NOW, but it has taken a long time to get there and we do realise that we are in the minority. As teachers, we see the signs in our students and hopefully can give them the confidence we failed to get when young ourselves.
Thanks Brian! I can relate with you, since in the past I was working jobs which were tailor made for extroverts, so I had to pretend that I was one. As you know, it wasn’t an easy task… I’m glad that you had that meeting with other fellow INFJs. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your experience and insight, and you are most welcome!
I too am an INFJ and I really enjoy reading your articles. Nice Work!
Thanks so much Mary! I’m happy to hear you like my articles. 🙂
That was a really nice article!!!
Thank you Sakura! Glad you liked it. 🙂
I love this post! Honestly, I love reading all posts on the INFJ personality type.
I recently discovered that one of my younger brothers is also an INFJ, which I found very odd. But the more I thought about, remembered past conversations with him, his actions and everything, I can definitely see it. Also, one of my sisters good friends is also and INFJ, I was stunned to discover so many (2 so far?) INFJ’s so close to me! I don’t think either of them know just how valuable they are. I tried to explain it to my brother, but he is 14 and currently more interested in designing his video games…(can anyone else relate to that). Anyway, all that to say, love this post!
Thanks so much Morgan! I’m glad you like it. 🙂 That’s amazing that you have two INFJs so close to you! I can relate with your brother, since when I was his age, video games too made a large part of my life. 🙂
Im so glad i read this. As usual when im feeling low i do personnality to try to understend myself, yes its true, and for the first time about tree days ago i had that infj result. I was…. I could belive that description! So nothings wrong with me. Can you imagine the relief? And that post is absolutly wonderful to read as well. That warms my heart. So I just wan to say thank you for this post and I invite infj people to appreciate themself for who they are and I pray for you to meet a lot of perspon that can understand you and cherrysh you! Peace, love and momba. Just kidding haha!
Hi Karine! I understand you when it comes to that wonderful feeling of relief. 🙂 There is nothing wrong with you, there never was. Thank you so much for your kind, inspiring, and supportive words, glad you like the article. 🙂
You forgot Hitler in the list, don’t forget Hitler !
Only recently discovered I am an INFJ.So good to know I am not crazy..I always thought I was a freako because to people I look like an extrovert due to extroverted feeling but inside I am totally isolated,private and I enjoy the company of only the people I approved and I need my alone time because we are thinkers and we like to go over matters.I actually wish I had a less emotional personality because the world is much too hard for us. But it is nice to know though that I am not alone and that it is actually my personality and not a mental disorder. ?
You are not crazy Jolene, and there is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You are an INFJ and that is a wonderful feeling! It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You are not alone. 🙂
My problem is friends. I have very few and I don’t make them easily. I want friends, but I feel myself pull back from people. Always. I have to wade in slowly and after months, if they stick around that long, I feel confident in our friendship. It’s like I want them to prove they’re my friend before I believe it. I’m older and married, so I’m pretty content with things as they are, but I fear a life of loneliness if I lose my husband. Is this a common INFJ-T trait?
This is definitely an common INFJ trait, SheriSew. We don’t make friends easily, and we value quality of the few, not quantity of the many. Once we feel that we can open up to a friend, this is when our INFJ trust, acceptance and understanding comes out. 🙂 Loneliness is a part of our personality, because we cherish those who are in our life and are afraid of losing them. Just don’t let loneliness direct your life.
I’m just learning about this things and it results that I’m an INFJ. I need some advice on emotional issues. I had a rather short relationship with an ESTP lady -the one who introduced me to this- and I just can’t get over with it. She, apparently, got bored or something. I need to talk to more people like me because I feel exactly the way you describe: lost, alone and all that. Please, tell me something
Hi silentgumption! What you’ve been through is not easy. Please know that you are not alone. Though rare, there are a lot of INFJs out there, and you will find more of us by going to the INFJ Forum section of the site. Feel absolutely free to visit it and talk with fellow INFJs, because you are not alone. Whatever happened in that relationship, don’t rush this process after it ended. Give yourself as much time as you need to heal and replenish. One step at a time, you got this.
Hi! I have a question about which online test you think is the most reliable to determine personality type. I come out differently in just about every one I take. This is rather confusing! When I read the descriptions of the types I do finds bits of myself in each one but also things that don’t apply to me. I guess the whole thing is complex and cannot be simply and easily defined.
Hi Katie, don’t worry, you will find that a lot of personality tests can show different results. Myers Briggs would be my answer as the most reliable one. But what matters is how you feel. If you feel that you’re an INFJ, then no test can convince you otherwise, they’re only there to guide and help you on your personality discovery. But it is you who makes the final decision. 🙂
I hqve taken the myers Briggs personqlity test and the result showed me as an INFJ. INFJ has great intuition right… Can anyone tell me how to understand whether I’m being intuitive or just over thinking things……
That’s wonderful that you found out you are an INFJ, Lone_Ranger. 🙂 Absolutely, INFJs have an incredible intuition! The difference between intuition and overthinking is that intuition is that overthinking makes you feel anxious, drained, overwhelmed, while intuition makes you more cautions, prepared, and as if you already know what will happen or is happening. Overthinking creates bad vibrations, while intuition senses the good and gives you a warning or that inner advice that you need to hear.
I have recently found out that I am an infj. And for a long time I have felt like I don’t belong. This is especially evident in a large group of people. It almost feels like I am looking at everybody from outside of my body. I pick up on how they’re sitting, how they are talking, their tone of voice and all the emotions around them. It seems like it’s easy for me to see what is truly inside them. sometimes I giggle and think to myself “how can no one else see this?”
Hi Sparrow! Few people will ever see and experience things like you do, and I can fully relate with the not belonging feeling. But that’s okay, no, it’s wonderful! 🙂 As INFJs, we have a unique way of sensing these kind of emotions, inner movement around us, and we are born to stand out, not fit in. That’s why it’s awesome you found out you are an INFJ! 🙂
Hi everyone. I have discovered that I am INFJ recently and I am so glad that I have found your site. All through my life I felt that I was completely different from everyone around me, I could feel their feelings and know things that others I was with couldn’t. I was diagnosed with Bipolar and Personality disorder, but all the while I thought this isn’t right either, I identified with some of the symptoms of both but not fully. I tried many types of anti depressants and they didn’t work either. I decided to dig deeper on my own as I had to get to the bottom of what was really going on in my head and here I am! through reading the responses above and some of the literature on the site I finally feel I have found my tribe and it’s surprisingly emotional, do I finally belong?
Hi DrewPortsmouthuk! I’m glad you found you are an INFJ, and that you found us, welcome! 🙂
I’m 16 (BOY) and i just discovered that i’m “INFJ” thru a personalty survey online with my family and i’m shocked, i was had this thing in my mind why am i so bizarre anxious solemn but i always knew that my soul is like exquisite and dazzling that’s why i’m different, i’m sympathetic like i’m all about sympathy, i feel but i can’t get a long with others, i have deep emotional love for art and i always thought that at a young age why am i so ancient type but this post was like a painkiller to me, i feel happy and confident about my self, i only have 2 friends but they’re life to me i wanted to make friends and be like others but now i think it’s lame in your post it says “RARE” to be honest it makes me happy that i’m different, i’m going to cherish it. Thank you <3 i'm happy that i came here.
I’m happy you discovered you are an INFJ Palette at such a young age, that’s great! 🙂 I;m also glad the article resonated with you and that it gave you confirmation that your INFJ personality type is something you should be proud of. Thank you for your kind words. 🙂
For years, and for long as I had been familiar with the MBTI, my type was an INTP. However, sometime prior to 2010, my type changed to an INFJ. I was surprised by this, yet it seem consistent with what I knew about myself, and subsequent testing continually reveals the same. Could you help me understand why this shift occurred?
No one ever tells me what I am, and how I need to get through life, and the link to the introvert thing is not working. Can you post a new link? Like for the INFJ hub thing?
Is there a possibility for person who ain’t born infj but become one cause i feel its me I wasn’t like this infj but from past year I can sense or feel I don’t know but I’m now one ohhh oops I can’t explain it but I guess I’m now I seen things which are present in infj and I found them now in me .Sorry I can’t explain it very well its all confusing how to say it but I have been through lot of things or different experience in past year which hits me hard.And now I’m like this.