If you’ve ever felt like giving up on love, because you’ve tried “everything” and you’re just TIRED— I know how frustrating this can be.
You might be approaching or well past those landmark birthdays—30,40, 50—that seem to shout “IT’S TOO LATE!”
Today, I’m here to share proof that it’s never too late to find love, even if you’re a hardcore introvert who doesn’t like leaving the house.
Writer Anne Lamott, who happens to be the author of one of my favourite books, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, got married last year for the first time.
She was 65 years old.
She said she stayed single so long because she’s introverted and hated leaving the house, especially for parties.
So what made her decide to suddenly seek out a life partner?
She admitted to her friends, fans and, most importantly, herself, that a good marriage was the one thing that she wanted, but hadn’t yet achieved.
Reading this reminded me of the countless introverted readers and clients who’ve told me that they’re afraid to even admit that they want a partner.
They spend years playing footsie with the universe about their true desires, when what they really want is to play footsie with the man or woman of their dreams.
Why many years single can be an advantage
Something else that stood out to me about Lamott’s love story is that her being single for so long was actually an advantage in finding the right guy.
If you’ve read any of her books, you know that over the years Lamott has learned to embrace her quirky, creative, and messy self. She wears her flaws with humour and humility.
Being so boldly herself was what made it possible to connect with a man who shares her unique passions.
He also adores her sense of humour and authenticity.
“I have never, ever spent time with somebody as funny, as brilliantly funny,” said her husband Neal Allen. “Living with Anne is like being in a comedy sketch.”
That’s the beauty of being a mature introvert who hasn’t wasted years and years falling into the dating pitfall of trying to “tweak” their personality to attract love.
The more you are YOU, the more strongly you’ll shine like a lighthouse for those who will appreciate who you really are.
As Lamott once said, “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
The only things that may need tweaking are the things that get in the way of sharing who you are.
And, yes, sometimes leaving the house is necessary. But it doesn’t have to be as painful or exhausting as you might think.
Take my client, Peter, for example.
After we discovered areas of his inner and outer life that were a smidge out of alignment we uncovered an easy next step to naturally meet his ideal women. He explains:
“I started by using Michaela’s system that showed me how to become a more naturally attractive person. She then suggested some ways of getting involved in the local community as a way to meet people and specifically to meet a compatible woman. When I took her advice and went to a meeting of like-minded people, I was approached by a beautiful young woman and we immediately engaged in a heartfelt conversation. I am now in the process of getting to know what an awesome woman she is.”
If finding love is something you haven’t been able to achieve on your own, it might be time for a fresh perspective.
Grab my free introvert dating guides below:
First Date Checklist For Introverted Women
Lessons in Magnetism For Introverted Men
With that said, let’s cheers to Anne Lamott finding introvert love later in life.
Caught me off-guard to see a re-phrasing of my all-time favorite quote, “Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to draw attention to their shining–they just shine.” — Dwight L Moody. I’ve always felt that, if I have to draw someone’s attention to me, then I’ll never know if they actually truly like me for me. I find it ironic that, as an introvert, I long for marriage. I want “my person”…someone who I’m comfortable always being myself around and who gives me no reason to ever want to leave the house…and yet to find that person, I need to leave the house.