Are you making this common dating mistake that so many introverted women make? It’s one of the #1 reasons why men pull away, and yet, few women realize they’re even doing it.
Before I share it with you, I want you to know that it’s so easy to fall into this trap.
After all, it’s in our nature as introverted women to push ourselves and try to do our best. Unfortunately, when it comes to the common mistake I’ll share today, these seemingly innocent virtues are a major factor in why men pull away.
Allow me to explain what I mean…
Have you ever had a really intense workout at the gym that left you sore for days…and not in a good way?
You overextended yourself, worked muscles you’re not used to using. Now your whole body feels stiff, tired, sore.
This is the way a lot of introverted women approach dating. It’s as though you’re constantly stretching yourself, and working new muscles every time you meet a man.
Far from being enjoyable, dating leaves you sore and stiff, reluctant to ever open your heart again. Not only that.
You aren’t getting the results you want. You put in all that effort and instead of getting the glowing love life you crave, you feel discouraged as men pull away.
Can you see the problem with this approach?
Dating isn’t meant to feel like hard work. In fact, your habit of working so damn hard is why men pull away.
All the effort and discomfort creates a closed, masculine vibe—the opposite of what men find most attractive.
Men are mesmerized by women who embrace their feminine energy. Part of cultivating a juicy feminine vibe is knowing how to ENJOY yourself and be in FLOW.
The more you enter into the energy of punishment, which so many innie women unknowingly do through self-criticism, over-analyzing, and trying too hard—the less feminine your vibe.
The good news is that it’s easy to shift things, especially if you know the easy shifts I share in my First Date Checklist for introverted Women.
Here are 3 tips to cultivate a feminine, attractive vibe:
1. Prioritize pleasure
Make pleasure a priority, both on dates, and in your day-to-day life. You don’t need a permission slip to enjoy yourself.
The moment you feel yourself entering into a state of self-punishment (depriving, criticizing, or chastising yourself) look for ways to make yourself feel good. The more you make yourself feel good, the more you’ll attract HIGH QUALITY MEN who only want to make you happy.
2. Stop complaining about dating.
This is a big one that a lot of women miss. We women just love to complain about how awful a date went. But this mindset reinforces the idea that dating is painful, which is a big reason why men pull away.
What works WAY better is to let everyone around you see how much you’re enjoying going on dates, and receiving attention from wonderful men. This magically gives you a high value vibe and draws men in like magnets.
3. Give less.
Did you know that a big aspect of masculine energy is giving? The more you try to do things for a man by, say, driving to his city to meet him, bringing him gifts, or cooking for him, the more you send off a masculine vibe. Not only that.
You train him to be lazy because he thinks he doesn’t have to put in any effort to impress YOU. To avoid this pitfall, shift into receiving mode, which is much more feminine and wildly attractive to a man.
I explain how to shift into a more feminine vibe, plus be more open, confident, and irresistible around men in exclusive email content I only share with subscribers. Signup here to get the dating resources.
The most important thing to remember is something I always tell my Quiet Siren Masterclass students, as well as my private dating coaching clients:
Attraction is an invisible force and so are the mechanisms that activate it.
The tools and mindsets I share with you are all designed to flick that invisible switch and make you glow in a way that is irresistible to men.
Love this article Michaela,
So much food for thought, and one other thought came with reading this that it’s easy for us to get stuck in our own heads and be soooo uptight, it’s ridiculous and not necessary. We forget that we can relax and let our date take the lead. This is so much more of a turn-on, isn’t it? Sometimes I have to remind myself I’m not at work, this is a date. I don’t have to make it all work out. and I don’t have to plan where it’s going. I can just be in the moment, and not analyse. Enjoy. Observe him. Respond to him. Be feminine and receive. Say yes if I like what he says and does, say no if I don’t.
I’m courting an introvert woman and I’m so confused and lost. I like her a lot, but having a problem getting beyond the walls. Love to know how to win her over. She’s beautiful, intelligent, smart, independent. We have so much in common.
Maybe you’ll find this article helpful: https://introvertspring.com/make-an-introvert-fall-in-love/