Picture this.

You’ve been on a couple of dates with someone. You know that they are going to try to go in for the kiss. Or they will expect you to make a move. How do you react?

If you’re like me, and many other introverts, you tense up.

The thought of letting someone new into our invisible personal space bubble is stressful for introverts.

We’re selective about who we let into our inner circle. And we’re even more selective about who we get physical with. I’m not just talking about sex. Even the first stages of physical intimacy can cause anxiety for introverts.

So, back to my initial question. When you know it’s time to get a little closer, how do you react?

Do you pull away, even if you like the person?

Do you get all awkward and feel like a total dork?

Do you hold your breath and just ‘get it over with’ like it’s a spoon full of medicine?

While all of the above reactions are quite common, you probably don’t like the uncomfortable feeling that accompanies them.

Below are some steps that have helped me warm up to physical intimacy.

Step 1: Remember Who’s In Control

You don’t have to get physical if you don’t want to. Feeling like you have to do something is the ultimate turn off. Remember that you are in control of your own body. Simply knowing that will take the pressure off and help you to relax.

Step 2: Pay Attention

As an introvert, you are great at noticing subtle signals others might miss. Use this skill to pick up on cues from your date. Does he seem nervous? Maybe he needs some encouragement. Is she cuddling up to you? It’s a safe bet that she wants you to put her arm around her.

Step 3: Try To Cover All The Bases

Homeruns are great when you’re playing baseball. When dating, you want to spend a little bit of time on each base before sliding into third. You want to dribble a little before the grand slam dunk. You want to practice skating before you get your hands on a hockey stick.

As an introvert, you’ll feel much more comfortable starting out with subtle touch before launching into a steamy makeout session, or leaping into bed.


michalea chung