Something new for you on Introvert Spring: my very first podcast! Simply click on the button in the media player (not my face) to listen now.
If you have a question that you’d like me to answer in my next podcast, please send it here.
Hi, I’m Michaela, the creator of Introvert Spring, a website that helps introverts quietly revolutionize the way they see themselves. Today I’m going to talk about something that I get asked a lot on my website: can introvert extrovert relationships work?
So, introvert extrovert relationships: can they work, and can they last long-term? Well the short answer is, yes, of course they can.
There are probably a million and one examples of introvert extrovert relationships thriving throughout history and in the present day. However, there are probably just as many examples of relationships that just don’t work out.
So today I thought we could just sit down together and have a really honest discussion about what some of the factors are that make or break an introvert extrovert relationship.
Okay, so first of all I want to say that I get a lot of comments on my website and Facebook page from introverts who have been, or are currently in a relationship with an extrovert. A lot of these introverts say things like, “it didn’t work out for us,” “it was a horrible experience,” “never again.”
But then there are just as many who say the complete opposite. They say things like, “my extroverted partner understands that I need space,” or “he gets that I don’t like to have unexpected guests,” or “she understands that I need more time alone than her.”
So the common denominator that we’re seeing here is that the extroverted partner understands. They get that you don’t want the same things as them. They understanding that you need different things, and they’re perfectly okay with that.
Now I really want to emphasize how important it is that your extroverted partner understands and respects your needs. Something that is very unfortunate about a lot of introvert extrovert relationships is that it is really easy for the introvert’s, needs to go unnoticed.
This is because, number one as introverts were less likely to verbally express what we need and ask for it, and number two it is a lot easier for introverts to understand the needs, desires and motivations of an extrovert than vice versa. And I’m just going to explain a little bit why that is.
Introverts tend to be quite subtle when expressing ourselves, while extroverts are much more outwardly expressive. So, what you really need to ask yourself is, is this particular extrovert someone who will take the time to truly listen to me and will they offer a safe, trusting environment where I feel comfortable expressing what I need?
The next thing I want to talk about is energy imbalance. If you’ve been reading my blog on a regular basis, you’ve probably noticed that I talk a lot about introvert energy.
An introvert’s energy is a precious and limited resource. Being with an extroverted partner can – not always – but can quickly drain an introvert’s energy, you’ll find that for some reason, certain extroverts overwhelm you and suck the life right out of you while others don’t.
This could be because their energy is too loud and overpowering for you. It could be that their lifestyle is too fast paced. Or maybe it’s just that they talk too fast. It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re flawed in some way. It just means that there is an energy imbalance and you probably shouldn’t pursue a relationship with that person.
So, that’s all the time that we have right now to talk about introvert extrovert relationships, but please do feel free to keep the discussion going in the comments section below. I would love to hear your thoughts and your experiences relating to introvert extrovert relationships. Also, you can send me a direct message through the contact link, which I also posted below.
And one last thing, if you have a question that you’d like me to answer in my next podcast, please do send that along.
So, that’s it for today. Sending you all my love and positive introvert energy. Thank you so much for listening and have a great week.
Hi dear Michaela. First of all my compliments for your work, website and blog!! Wow!! I have a very introvert GF. And I recognize all. But what I try to “teach” her, is to step out of her comfortzone by very small steps. With this in mind: “Life begins where your comfortzone ends”. But don’t push it too much.
Keep up the good work!
Thanks, Chris! I am all for the small steps approach: “Journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step.”
What about when it goes the other way? I am an extrovert, my husband is an introvert, but he doesn’t understand my need to socialize and gets annoyed about it when I try to go out.