President Donald Trump has created a unique dilemma for many introverts. Allow me to explain with a scenario most introverts will relate to.
Imagine you’re on a plane, and fate has sat you right next to someone who won’t shut up. They talk and talk and talk without pause. Under normal circumstances you would politely nod and pretend to listen, while looking for the nearest exit. But guess what.
It’s a plane! You can’t escape until that puppy lands. Unfortunately, this happens to be a very long flight. The Trump plane isn’t scheduled to land for another four years. This leaves introverts with a choice:
Stay quiet or speak up about Trump?
For others, this might sound like a simple choice. But for introverts, the decision to boldly voice our opinion is not one that we take lightly. We are, by our very nature, calm and conflict-averse. Speaking out against bullies is sure to create some conflict.
So, yeah, it takes a lot to get us to the point where we tell the obnoxious dude on the plane to shut up. I don’t know about you, but for me it takes …
- Being ignored and underestimated by a narcissistic bully who doesn’t know how to listen
- Dishonesty, half-truths, and, yes, even ‘alternative facts’
- Chauvinism, sexism, racism, and any other form of unfair discrimination
- Constant fear mongering and the overwhelming energy of anxiety it creates
At this particular moment, I feel like the noisy POTUS sitting next to me on the plane embodies all of the above. And I simply cannot keep quiet anymore.
Never mind the fact that I’m an introvert, and I hate the idea of offending anyone. Or the fact that I’m a nice Canadian girl who was taught to be sugar and spice and everything polite. Never mind any of that because POTUS Trump has lit a fire under my sweet and obedient little behind.
Yes, as an introvert I am quiet much of the time. It takes a lot to get a rise out of me. But there is a tipping point for even the most mild-mannered introvert.
Have you reached that point yet?
Some of you may be simmering with unrest. Others are burning with anger. Still more feel like you are stewing in a melting pot of fear. Let me tell you where I’m at.
I am at the point where anger meets action. I am willing to risk offending some people as I exercise my right to speak my truth. After all, I know what it feels like to not speak up. For too many years I let important words get caught in my throat. I kept quiet about my needs, my fears, my feeling, my dreams. Not today.
Today I am speaking out against the guy on the plane who doesn’t know how to listen. I hear that he’s a fan of social media, so maybe I can blog and tweet my way to being heard. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if Trump hears my voice.
When you get enough people — introverted people, extroverted people, Muslim people, Christian people, LGBTQ people, famous people, influential people, average Joe people — speaking as one, the loudmouth on the plane can’t ignore us anymore. Here’s the best part.
Thanks to the internet, we introverts don’t even need to leave the house to make our voices heard. We can sign petitions, write blog posts, share on social media, and boycott businesses. But when things are this bad, many of us are even willing to go out and march.
As for me, I’m speaking up.
The whole world is on this plane. Let’s not let one noisy passenger ruin it for the rest of us. — Tweet This.
P.S. What about you? Do you share my feelings on speaking up as an introvert? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just please keep comments constructive. All opinions are welcome, but aggressive, and hateful comments will be deleted.
[Update From The Author] After reading the dozens of comments that have poured in, here are my honest thoughts: It was actually really interesting and valuable to hear perspectives from BOTH sides. As one commenter pointed out, “When I first saw this I almost quit the forum, (I don’t need this …. here), I did find myself venting a political view. I’d never do that in the venting forum. Think about that.. She gave us a place to vent politics, even if we never would have otherwise, venting can be good for us.” So there it is. This post lit enough of a fire under people’s bums to start talking honestly (and for the most part, thankfully, not too aggressively). I hope the trend continues. xo
This is an amazing article and so spot on! I will tweet this too, because even we introvert have our limits. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t worry about negative thoughts, because like you said: “The whole world is on this plane. Let’s not let one noisy passenger ruin it for the rest of us.” Your voice is hear Michaela, you have my unconditional support, and I deeply thank you. 🙂
Thank you for speaking up about the uneasiness many of us may feel about the choice my country made. Shamefully , since the election, certain citizens think they have Carte Blanche to emulate the person they voted for. ?
You mean, like those rioters over at Berkeley? Are they Trump followers? Have you ever seen any of the Trumps riot?
How about MILO? Did they let him speak? Or do only leftists have free speech? Are we all free, of are just rioters free?
Lemme guess: the rioters are exceptions and so are well-behaved Trump followers!
Way to go Lucretia. I’ve been thinking that the democrats with their load angry voices must be dominated by extroverts and Republicans with their well behaved tea party demonstrations are more introverted in nature. A silent majority. All the Democrats want to do is gather in large rowdy groups, shout, and accuse Republicans of horrible traits. Listening seems to be beyond the Democratic skill set as they have been brainwashed by the fake news channels into thinking we are basket of deplorable. Pure hate, intolerance, and misunderstanding is what I see in these anti-Trump demonstrations.
I’m sure you’re holding yourself strong with all the oppression you’ve endured.
As an infp and the sister to two ESTP brothers and an ESTP grandfather, I have an insight into this personality that most people probably don’t. What is one thing we INFPs hate? Being misunderstood and misjudged right? That’s what’s happening with Trump. They are blunt individuals, brilliant but misjudged as not being so because they think using fancy words is a waste of time. They would much rather be “doing”. They like telling tall tales, and provocking reactions from people. The media has lied and portrayed trump unfairly and we can’t let our feelings determine truth (it’s hard, I know). He’s far from perfect but he’s not a monster either. Please give him a chance ?
You are 99% right. The Major Media (ABC, CBS, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC & NBC have told their lies so many times (and been caught), when will people stop believing them?
They have given Democrat (Socialist “Progressives”) a pass for so long, and then, like Orwell said. “Black is now white, and good is now bad,” only to watch unthinking masses blindly swallow it. WHY? At what point do you go and *read/see* what was really said, not what the “mass media” said was said/done?
My INFJ tipping point was seeing inaug. pics of Melania having to walk by herself with the gift to Michelle in her hands, to which, the Obamas rushed to help her up the steps, while her husband walked 30 ft ahead of her. I am now posting political posts for the 1stt time in my life,joined political organizations, contacted local reps. & senators. Finally left my INFJ shell to do something about all of our rights being trumped on. It’s no longer partisan anymore, His uncaring treatment of his own wife should be an outrage even among his voters.
I generally keep my thoughts (particularly my politics) to myself and my boyfriend as he and I are well aligned in this matter. But Trump has me so angry and irritated that I simply can’t keep my trap shut anymore, even when it might be to my advantage to do so. I’m a privileged little white girl but what I’m seeing in this country is terrifying to me!!! We weren’t built on a foundation of money and hate but upon the belief that we could find a better way! Wtf has happened to us???
Thank you for writing this, Michaela. I’ve been think about this a lot lately. It’s time to speak up, and stand up to the bully. Too much is at stake to keep quiet. Never be afraid to speak your mind.
Obama wasn’t a bully? Then, how come I’m forced to buy medical insurance whether I want to or not? How come, under the ACA, I can pay and get or pay and not get? That’s not bullying? Why didn’t Obama just sell me a mayonnaise sandwich for 50 bucks? That would’ve been cheaper than my insurance premiums and lower than my deductible.
Exactly. Thanks. More bullying: Bombing civilians (even children) in the Middle East. Ordering Christians to pay for contraception & abortion against their religion, while already taking our money & giving it to Planned Parenthood who put it in their slush fund that is used for the same. Allowing the TSA to keep molesting innocent citizens, incl. children. Allowing agencies to keep watching us & listening to us everywhere. Ordering places such as schools to let anyone into any restrm or locker-rm. If it’s obvious to drs & biologists someone is human but he believes he’s a dog, is he really a dog & do we treat him as one? So if it’s likewise obvious someone is male but he believes he’s female (or vice versa), is he really female & are we to treat him as one? I think not. You wouldn’t want him seeing your daughter (or if you don’t have one, niece or young female cousin) naked or being around when she’s using the bathrm, & vice versa.
Dear, Michaela, please speak for yourself. You mention introverts speaking up about Mr. Trump; well, I will then. For a politician, so far, I think he’s not very bad. He seems to be much less bad than any other president we’ve had in my lifetime, and I was born in 1975. I say ‘for a politician’ because I’m a monarchist, so I don’t like any politicians (& voting is against my principles), but some are less bad than others. I’m not expecting things to change, just may be a little relieved at some things here & there.
He’s doing some things that I think will help the country, and I think trying to avoid antagonizing other countries, by starting to pull us out of entanglements. I’ve heard some people complaining about his efforts to restrict immigration, but do you think Muslim countries would like to bring in your women’s march, with the hats & the rainbow flags? There’d be a massacre. Their democratically enacted laws require EXECUTION of gays, for example. Countless Christians are being martyred too. So if we’re not welcome in certain countries, why should we continue to invite here people who hate us & want to kill many of us, more of the same who ALREADY HAVE? If truly oppressed, peaceful people can be identified AND they are willing to assimilate, & not sponge off the rest of us (other immigrants incl. in ‘the rest of us’), yes, those should be welcomed. Slovakia may not be absolutely correct with this by letting in only Christians, but I think it’s on the right path, & so it doesn’t have any crisis with rapes, machete attacks, bombings, ‘no go’ zones, etc. like are increasing in France, Germany, Sweden, & the UK.
I couldn’t have written this better myself! I completely agree with everything you said.
I am an introvert and am also SCI. I live at an apt complex in Quincy,MA. The tenant upstairs has a kid that pounds the floor for over 12 hours per day. Some days the total is in the teens. Most days the total is over 30 and 40 times. I have talked to the manager and it does not stop. The manager does nothing about it. I have asked the manager to move me to another apt and I am still in the same apt. There was a 2 br apt available about 6 months ago and it went to a new tenant. Is there any way you can help me?
<3 this. Definitely echoes a lot of my own feelings on the topic. 🙂
I couldn’t have written this better myself! I completely agree with everything you wrote.
Every voice is important since every human being is valuable. Perhaps one of the best outcomes of the election is that people of all persuasions will finally speak up so that a true representation of the American people will be heard. It seems that we are accustomed to hearing the loud and boisterous on either end of every issue, and I am weary of it. Often introverts are the ones who are gifted in perception, compassion and discernment and take time to consider many facets of an issue. It is time for courage and action to articulate an intelligent common-sense approach that is not reactive and impulsive, but instead responsive and practically applicable. Partisan wars and tantrums are very immature and mainly miss the point because of over-arching ideology and dogma. I am exhausted by rhetoric and sensationalism. I long for a forum to rationally discuss issues and a platform to dispense action plans rooted in fact and experience. Does anyone relate? Or shall I just stay home, write songs and ponder ideas with my cat?
Janelle – I totally believe we need such a forum, based on rationality, clarity and good-old facts. But I also believe it’s only good if we stay home and hone our creativity and care for cats, etc… 🙂 This “cocooning” I see as a foundation, not an alternative, for our possible proactiveness to change the world.
Will you be my best friend? Lol! I’m agnostic but even I’m willing to offer a hallelujah!
I’m uneasy about Mr. Trump also but we didn’t have much of a choice this time. Whether we agree with the person or not, it is our duty to support whoever is in office. In my lifetime, I haven’t always liked or admired every person we’ve had as president but tried to find the positive things they accomplished while in office. It’s our duty to respect and try to support the person in office. Let’s hope he does some positive things. It’s interesting that our election process put him in office but so many whose candidate didn’t win are protesting and wanting him out before he even starts. Let’s drop the rocks we’re holding and give him a chance.
Thank you Glenn! You are voice of peace, reason, unity and benevolence – I knew you were out there somewhere!
Thank you; I completely agree. People say that Trump is hateful, but I am seeing a lot of hate and anger and violence from the people who are against him. Approximately half the people in this country are behind Trump. If others want to protest, go ahead and protest. But he does speak for many people in this country. Michaela, it seems you are assuming that most introverts agree with your political opinion. I don’t think this is the appropriate venue for you to be sharing your political views. You could have written an article about standing up for introvert beliefs, without saying negative things about our president. I know I will get a lot of backlash for saying that, but it’s what I believe.
Cathy – this is Michaela’s website so it is entirely appropriate for her to share her thoughts.
It was my understanding that she created this website initially as a safe place for introverts. I thought that it was not only her website, but it was our website, also. Politics is very divisive and extremely emotional, and we don’t need this on an introvert site…. not the way it was presented. The attacks on our president, in my opinion, were unnecessary.
Thank you, Cathy, for saying what I was thinking. I agree wholeheartedly. This article is entirely too partisan in nature to be used in any sort of self-help capacity.
Of course, we all know what happens when intoverts become passionate about something. There are days when I would scorch the earth just to make sure my point is getting across…Hell hath no fury like an introvert on a soap box.
I agree with you, Cathy. It would’ve been better to read an article that was neutral. Yes, it is Micaela’s website/blog, however, We don’t need to be divided anymore than we already are. I would’ve enjoyed an article that helped to bring us together during these times rather than taking sides. Whether you voted Trump or not, he’s our president. Let’s at least have respect for the office he holds.
Right on, girl!
How could Trump have built a $10 billion business empire without going to jail if he was as bad as leftists say he is? Does anybody willingly give their money to bad people?
I agree Glenn with everything you said I voted for Trump and I say give him a chance too Please .
I will be logging out for good . As I don’t agree with what Michaela had to say . I will find another place to get info . I have been purging politics as much as possible. I don’t need this .
Michaela, I look at this from afar. As an Innie Mostly agree with the stuff you write and blog about …..sadly not this time.
I may Be quiet but I am neither stupid nor ignorant. I am extremely tolerant and positively hate criticism and conflict, I also tend to overlook people’s behaviour good and bad. Like most Innies I only speak up when I am certain I am right and my opinion is worthy.
Trump, for all his past misdeeds and seemingly poor behaviour, will prove to be the most effective POTUS ….probably since JFK but almost certainly since Reagan.
As the saying goes ….actions speak louder than words ….he will be a refreshing change if he continues to implement his policies even with minor modifications along the way. His Primary strength and power comes from the fact that he is NOT a politician and even though this will cause him grief for the next few months once the establishment get over the fact that their power base has changed and they cease the resistance movement he will prove his worth in restoring the USA and make it great again.
Trump is ….you get what you see. Compare him to Bill Clinton ….the Japanese phrase “honne to totemae” comes to mind ….the public face and the private face being different, say one thing do the opposite. His treatment of women was appalling and his wife …the former aspiring PO.TUS supported him and demonised the women involved. Lies and deceit are 2 words that spring to mind.
The USA needs and deserves a POTUS that ….puts America first …..as long as he does that the decline of the last 40 years or so will most likely reverse and the world WILL be a better place. Trump will challenge the current world order and that to me is a good thing even if only to shake it up and allow a realignment that stops us all from being led by minority, load noisy groups who seem to have total control over everything from what we say and what we do in every aspect of life.
Not all Innies think the same clearly so even though your blog shows a clear bias the fact is that if 40% of us are Innies, then there are probably just as many supporting Trump as there are opposing him. It is a democracy after all and the overwhelming win indicates that the majority rules and gets its way …the losers just have to tolerate the outcome until they get the opportunity to vote ate the next election.
Voice your disapproval of course but read carefully what the media reports because from where I sit the media beat up against Trump is simply the result of the establishment (the media is a strong establishment player) deliberately creating controversy by first presenting “alternate facts” which at best are opinions masquerading as facts.
Take the so called Muslim ban …..it is not that under any circumstances and the last 3 POTUS have implemented similar. The fact is that the 7 countries named are ALL linked to Iran through terrorist links and training ……so there is more here than the public knows. His Primary role is to protect the American people ….and his “extreme vetting” will do that better than any open border policy.
I look forward to the next 4 years with much anticipation on the changes that will come.
Thanks for the opportunity to have my say. Keep,up,the great work you do I really enjoy being part of your Innie world even if we don’t agree on some subjects.
Yep, I totally agree.
I felt the same way about Obama as liberals feel about Trump now. No, I didn’t spew hate, but I was scared about what he was doing to the USA and trying to change everything about what it means to be an American. I didn’t like what he was doing but didn’t act like a fool and try to turn people against him. I feel safer now because I truly believe our new president loves our country and wants to preserve it along with our values. I have friends and family who don’t agree but we love each other anyway. How boring it would be if we all thought alike. And we really do live in the greatest nation on Earth. I have travelled the world and this is the very best place to be. There’s no place like home! Let’s see what Trump can do. Let’s love each other. Hating is very unhealthy anyway. God bless all you guys out there. And if you don’t believe in God, I hope He blesses you anyway! And thank you, Michaela, for helping me to understand why I am like I am. It finally all makes sense.
Thank you for voicing my opinion so accurately.
Well said, Daryl.
I love the person who can observe the real person without filters…it has been so long (eight years) about people being afraid to speak their mind without being abused and mischaracterized by people who don’t think you should think the way you do—you can talk common sense until you’re blue in the face and always have someone shut you down or yell you down. I think we’re seeing the end of that.
Bravo, and well said Daryl. Thank you for putting it so succinctly.
Thank you Michaela, for saying so well what so many of us are feeling. I am particularly outraged at attacks on vulnerable people and on our precious planet. I am ready for action to counter the energy drain from this onslaught!
You’re outraged at attacks on innocent people, Then you must be having a hissy fit over beatings of Trump followers. You go think that’s wrong, don’t you?
And I’ll bet you had a heart attack when the New Black Panthers tried to intimidate white voters from voting and Obama told the DOJ not to prosecute. Remember that? I’m sure you go and you spoke out against that, too, didn’t you?
And how about those rioters over at Berkeley destroying property, looting Starbucks, and setting fires? Were they getting even with Trump supporters doing the same thing to them first? Or are the rioters drawing first blood?
These are the “innocent” people about whom you’re speaking, right? If am I right?
Thank you for this! I have been asking myself “how can an introvert be an effective activist?” I’ve always been one to stay out of the fray, but I even attended the Woman’s March! It was my first march and, especially as a crowd-averse introvert, scary as hell. Fortunately the energy of the people was positive and it ended up being a great day. Since then I’ve taken to writing my representatives and attending (gulp) neighborhood activism meetings! I’m amazed at the fire this has lit under my controversy avoiding butt. So happy that I’m not the only introvert out there mobilizing against this bully. Also I know this is water under the bridge, but I recognized Hillary Clinton as an introvert during the campaign and I remember wondering how her understated self could ever win against her outspoken and extroverted competition. I identified with that reality on a deep level as it’s a struggle I face in my career regularly. Thanks again!
Naomi I totally agree with you and I was out at the Women’s March as well. Also my first march and it got this INFJ out there and has ignited my activism button too. Thanks Michaela for this great article!
I really like the “speaking up” idea. What I am trying to speak up for, is compassion. We’re all in this big mess together, and people doing hate speech and making hateful actions (the main one now being Mr. Trump, but also many others, and surprisingly or not, his opponents too) are not only “them” or “the bad guys”. What I choose to see “them” as is a reflection of the collective rage that we accumulated as a human species, also the reflection of my rage, your rage, I guess almost everybody’s rage. Yes, we need to acknowledge this rage, feel through it, don’t keep it bottled in – my virtual howl here! And then we need hell-of-a-lot of compassion. First to purify ourselves, then to see and facilitate the same potential in others, even Mr. Trump. Here’s a couple of posts/writings that resonated a lot with me on these issues: https://interruptingthesilence.com/2017/01/26/my-thank-you-note-to-president-trump/, https://www.positive.news/2016/perspective/23873/how-the-us-election-could-trigger-a-society-of-empathy/.
i totally agree with you.. i have been ter-
ified at what he proposes.. i have especially
upset over the environmental issues.. the
preservation of the environment is really
impt to me.. as an innie i sign lots of online
petitions about it as well as human rights..
there has been a lot of progress lately
& i am sad & angry that it could be reversed
so easily.. i live in a very conservative
place where there is still lots of hate &
predjudice against different races.. i havent
met anyone here who feels the same..
its very religous here but very prejudice..
glad to be in a group of likeminded! hope
somehow we can preserve the environ
ment, and keep all the progress we ve made
in womens rights, gender rights etc regard-
less of this president..
Absolutely agree. Well said!!
I honestly believe world war 3 is literally right around the corner and guess what? The United States isn’t the only country that has nukes anymore. I think the world is in a extremely volatile state with all that is happening, EVERYWHERE, not JUST the US. A lot of people are concerned about Trump. I am too, but its not JUST Trump that we have to worry about imo.
Just glancing at headlines (the real ones not #alternative facts) is enough to make one want to shut off their brain. This is just in Asia, ALONE. The Philippine President is killing his own countrymen, “drug users(mostly the disenfranchised).”South Korea is in the middle of impeaching their first female elected president and they had a South Korean business man killed by the Philippines Presidents mandate to kill all drug users exposing Durante’s corrupt police force. North Korea is getting closer and closer to having nukes, if they don’t have them already. How’s China doing I wonder? What happened with that Umbrella revolution in Hong Kong, or the South Sea dispute with the Philippines? I wonder if Japan has nukes yet, they are certainly smart enough to make them if I had to guess. And how many hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters have occurred, in not just Asia, but the rest of the world, in the last 10 years? I lost count/stopped counting.
The UK is probably too busy with “Brexit” to even notice what the f is going on with the rest of the world. Muslim countries are being bombed by US and Russia? I have a small grasp of “why” we are bombing those innocent women and children but I will never agree with it even if I get cheaper gas. What’s with this frenemy relationship with Russia anyways?
I have not even begun to list all the other totally immoral things that are happening every day, every where on this planet. Rapes, murder, robbery, slavery,injustices(the pipeline thing comes to mind), and just plain death and destruction everywhere on almost every news feed. And when you have just about had enough of all the “real events” that are going on, you also have to wonder about all the fake news stuff too. Like really? Has this world gone insane, or has the internet just brought all the crazy shit right in front of our faces?
Whats the definition of insanity again? How many world wars can the earth survive until we stop repeating our same mistakes?
You want to hope Trump will be a good president? I hope so too but there is a thing called “the real world” that honestly I don’t think Trump knows about or will ever . Am I wrong? Sure hope so, for all our sakes, but like seriously, is he really is going to go thru with building that wall, a physical wall, not a metaphorical wall but a real wall that will cost how many billions? I am speechless, efing speechless. I’m also so happy Trump has time to comment on Twitter about television programs as well……..at 1-4 am in the morning instead of, oh I dunno, anything else?
All my questions are rhetorical btw.
I am in the UK and I just want to say that lately I wonder if somehow I have been transported to the US without knowing it, because we have as many, if not more headlines about Trump in all of our media, even though we have our own turmoil going on with Brexit as you mentioned. We had women’s marches all across the UK last week and anti #muslim-ban marches all over this week, so I can tell you now we very much know and we Brits very much care about what is happening in the rest of the world, and are playing our part in speaking up against it! In fact, so far a petition against Trump coming here for a state visit hosted by the Queen later this year was signed by over 1.5million people in 2 days. I can assure you, a lot of people here give a major f*** about a lot of things!!
Apologies, I did not mean to imply people don’t care. What I wanted to highlight was that, every country has their own problems plus “all the rest of the world’s” problems. It’s not only countries that are fighting each other, the people in their own countries seem to be on a verge of civil war. People everywhere seem so stressed or angry about something or everything. The world right now feels like a huge powder keg and I think she’s ready to blow, plus the US just elected Trump.
Trump seems like a extremely vengeful person. I’m not even talking about his “policies” or what “good” he “plans” to do or the stuff that he is doing right now. I’m simply saying he seems very very petty and I would not want someone like that to have access to nuclear launch codes.
All it takes are a few key events and enough pissed off people to trigger the end of the world, if you can’t imagine anything like that ever happening, well that’s your right to live in ignorance. Its not like we have two examples of world wars that we could look back and reference so that we avoid similar mistakes? WAIT……….
I encourage everyone to really look at the WHOLE picture. Because if we do survive a nuclear world war 3, the events that are happening right now, could be the events that trigger ww3.
But lets not worry about all that because Trump is going to make America great again! YAY BUILD THAT WALL!……………anyone know how to secure a spot in one of those apocalypse bunkers? Just curious/kidding, kind of/not really.
I try to stay away from discussing politics, as much as possible. Much conflict potential, with no resolution. It honestly seems like a huge waste of my time and emotions. Instead, I have been using my spirituality. I have two pages of suggestions on how to pray for those in leadership positions in society, overall. This is very helpful to me and seems a better use of my time and emotions. Appealing to a higher power, works for me. I certainly have learned to limit news input too.
Thank you for having the courage to take a clear stand and to decisively speak out against an individual who I strongly feel, as I indicated in my November 13 INFJ Forum post, is an outright horrifying nightmare of disgracefully unmitigated ego, white male privilege, greed, and virulently poisonous misogyny, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and contempt for others who are unlike him.
I literally felt physically ill upon realizing that an individual who had once been filmed expressing a disgustingly predatory and abusive attitude towards women (basically describing his enjoyment of sexual battery, which he admittedly felt free to engage in due to his celebrity status), and who additionally clearly harbors such blatant hostility and utter disregard for the rights of the rest of humanity and for the well-being of the planet, had actually been elected to the highest office in the land (I still can’t bring myself to use the official term in connection with him).
His election has been an emotional nightmare for me and for many other survivors of sexual trauma and abuse (rape, molestation, incest, coercion, battery, and harassment) as well, as the lack of accountability and justice in this regard is truly horrifying – an unapologetic perpetrator is elected to office, while victims of an assault or unwanted sexual contact are not infrequently treated with disdain, blame, disbelief, and even bullying, and ‘put on trial’ themselves.
I find this double standard absolutely horrifying, and, unfortunately, reflective of a deeper inequality that is a global phenomenon.
I am a feminist, a humanist, an environmentalist, an INFJ, and a highly sensitive empath, and I am furious, heartsick, anxious, and deeply concerned about the future.
Yes. It takes a lot to get me to speak out loudly, but if any time in our lifetime is the time to speak, it is now.
I have been limiting news input, too. As a yoga teacher and meditation teacher, it’s one of the things I teach to help people limit the stress in their lives. I’m sorry that my “safe place” on this introvert site is now pulling me back to it. I really don’t think this is the appropriate venue to be discussing politics. “How Introverts Can Comfortably Speak Up” could have been written without bringing politics into it. I hope it doesn’t continue.
Again…Cathy…this is Michaela’s website and it is entirely appropriate for her to post whatever she likes here.
Not necessarily. Not if she has put a website out into the world for introverts, as a safe place where we can come together. Our country is evenly divided at this time. What purpose does it serve for her to express her personal feelings and alienate approximately half of the people who probably visit the site? Perhaps the name can be changed to liberal introvert spring.com. Conservatives not welcome, and not supported.
Yes, this is Michaela’s website and she is free to express her personal beliefs, but I am in complete agreement with Cathy. This article could have been written in broader terms without the attack on Trump and, by extension, towards any readers who voted for and support him. This has been a place where what we all have in common is being Introverts. I also hope that the politics that divide us do not continue to appear here.
I have grown weary of people who don’t agree with a blog post trying to silence the author/website owner by lecturing said author about the appropriateness of their post. I will defend everyone’s right to comment, as does Michaela, I am sure. However, this is her website and everyone has the free will to read it or not read it…to agree with it or not agree with it… Michaela was very upfront about being hesitant to offend anyone. She clearly she thought a lot about what she was saying and decided she “simply cannot keep quiet anymore.”
If you are offended, then be offended. She has every right to share her opinion and she cannot, will not and should not be silenced.
Thank you, Michaela!
I am afraid to speak up and encourage people to look at the long-term effects of Trump’s agenda, not the immediate short-term effects. After all, no one can predict the future.
As an INFJ, I’m afraid this article has not inspired me to speak up — because anything that does not support the “love” narrative will face backlash, with barely any chance to reason.
Perhaps I’m the one broken inside? I feel like I’m in the minority of people, even if half the country voted for Trump (I did not vote).
Brian, thank you for your comment. I voted for Gary Johnson. I found good and bad ideas, and personality characteristics, from both Clinton and Trump, and felt GJ could have helped heal the division of the two sides. It seems true that if we do not support the “love” narrative ( well expressed ), then we are racist or haters of some sort, with low intelligence and the inability to understand what is really going on. I know many people who feel the same way you do, and think you are probably not broken inside. We are in a time and place where people are refusing to listen to one another. In many situations, I am afraid to speak up to, because I am immediately shut down. Before Obama left office, he noticed the knee-jerk shutting down response of so many people, and spoke about it. For example, he said that if someone says they don’t believe affirmative action will help heal racism in this country, do not immediately shut them down and say that they are racist… rather, engage them in conversation and see what ideas they have for healing of racism.
Hi Michaela. I’m not American, I’m British. I’ve had fire coursing through my blood since Brexit and now Trump – aiming to destroy Europe. It doesn’t suit my innate sweet nature to walk around like this. Even my quiet times are disturbed by the heaving angry thoughts that pulse in my head. I sign every petition going and plan to fly to London to protest when he visits there ( I live in Italy) as I don’t want him putting his filthy mitts anywhere near our Queen.
What I’m really tired of is being told I must tolerate other people’s views. Democracy blah blah blah. My gut feeling knows what democracy feels like. My gut feeling tells me what is right and what is wrong and my gut is telling me at the moment that this is wrong and a lot of people for some reason are refusing to see the wrong.
‘Tell a lie, tell it often and tell it big’. …..Joseph Goebbels.
CAthy, I’m British. Re Brexit, didn’t you articles that were written shortly after the vote last year. That Merkel woman in German heard that other European countries were thinking about leaving the European Union and she shouted “No other European country must be allowed to leave!” It sounds like the grand plan was to have one big Super State with one Government, army etc. each country eventually wouldn’t have had any say in their own affairs any more. Finishing off the job that Hitler tried to do during the 2nd world war!
It`s hard to me explaining what I feel now after I`ve read the story of Michaela. Although I`m very grateful for her lessons and mails, a lot of which happens around me overwhelms me too quick! So I`ve to protect myself and hardly read newspapers, I even have no tv&radio, but of course I`m worrying about the situation in the States too. And living in a senior commune- I`m 73 years old- I feel more and more the pressure of life, which forces me to take more time for being alone. O yes , I do know what it means to stay aside, to be quite, but sometimes I had to tell what`s inside me, whether people like it or not. Anyhow I feel happy as an invert…
I will have to say good bye Michaela, I loved reading your advice these past months. Thank you for that. Your anger towards the man that half of the voters elected to lead this country of ours is a total surprise and very scary to me. When you criticize him so vehemently what are you saying to me whom voted for him?
Ooh politics, a risky venture! We are probably on different sides of the political fence Michaela, but I think the good thing about introverts is that we are respectful. A little bit of respect goes along way in this climate.
As a thinking person, I am passionate about reason and argument. Unfortunately this has been lost in the need to emotionally react to everything before we even know whats true. I think in this respect Donald Trump has been unfairly treated. The media has feed into whats become complete hysteria.
I can’t speak to Trumps character, but he was elected because he represented a large number of people who felt they weren’t being listened too. And so far he’s been doing what he said he’d do, things alot of people support (national security, clamping down on illegal immigration).
I’m an Aussie, but I actually support Trump for putting America first. It’s a refreshing contrast to European leaders who jeopardize the safety and wellbeing of their people and their countries future (see Germany, Sweden). He’s also got vision – creating safe zones in Syria is a far better strategy than throwing open the borders and inviting millions of people and the general chaos that’s occurred since then.
I think I will go with Eric. It isn’t difficult to find a political forum, and that is not what I signed on for here. Good-bye Innies. I’ll see you some other place.
My husband reckons that most of the American people didn’t actually vote for Trump. He heard that somehow the Russians got him in!
In Britain we hear about the protests about him both in America and in this country. He must surely have a very difficult time asserting his authority if so many people don’t accept him as President. There is confusion as he is supposed to be visiting Britain. Apparently Prince Charles won’t see him as he doesn’t agree with his policies and the Queen won’t see him either. A state visit would cost this country £10 million in security alone because of the possible trouble it would cause.
He would have to be very stubborn and bombastic to push on with so much opposition. Maybe eventually he will be forced to resign. Or maybe someone will end up shooting him, like Kennedy!
A therapist told me that extroverts were going to change the world and get everyone to do it with them. Then he said introverts were going to change the world and were going to do it themselves.
Ringing true for me I got thinking about this and came to the idea that to do it myself I would need some serious leverage. Being mechanical/science inclined I recognized that levers are simple machines (like inclined planes, pulleys, etc.). Then I recalled the Archimedes quote about give me a place to stand and a lever long enough and I can move the world.
Putting this together I think that individuals of any inclination can make a significant difference by using tools (tools being simple and complex machines.)
All the computer provides (as a complex machine) empowers individuals to be able to express their stand in whatever context they choose to a worldwide audience at the push of a button! This is astonishing power. Perhaps we need to slow down and reflect for a moment on what great powers we DO HAVE as I suspect many comments here are coming from a context/place of little or no power.
Mostly (IMHO) we (and I can only speak for myself) come from a place of little or no power and see a vast world around us where the real power is and we are as was so well said “Merely specks of protoplasm on a dust ball hurtling through space”, nothing could be further from truth.
Instead of fighting, fleeing, or freezing over a small space here that this blog has opened why not align with the clear intention here of going forward each in their own way and do what needs doing to complete all that is incomplete and unfulfilled within our own lives and not project that onto others “out there” and then attack or run from the shadows of our own making.
Breathe, center, and get to calm place before tapping that enormously powerful button (or not ?).
This makes me so sad.
I’m probably a classic liberal, I believe in equality but also personal responsibility. I can’t abide intolerance or hate, I can’t abide untruth and misrepresentation, but as an introvert I keep mostly quiet, as do a lot of us I guess.
The amount of willful untruth in the media these days really depresses me (and don’t get me started on social media, where people seem eager to repeat every ‘fact’ without any semblance of thought as to whether it is true or not).
Cathy above says “What I’m really tired of is being told I must tolerate other people’s views”. Well I’m tired of being told I’m wrong all the time. My philosophy is live and let live, I already do tolerate other people’s views, but what I find increasingly is how truly intolerant the left are. They bang on about democracy, but it turns out they only want it when it goes their own way. Just look at the recent demonstrations on both sides of the pond. Somehow I can’t see the same amount of anger from the right if the left had won…
I suspect most people just want to be left alone to get on with their lives. At least in the US you are still allowed to be patriotic and fly the flag. Here in the UK you are decried as a ‘little Englander’ or ‘racist’ for daring to do the same.
Brexit and Trump are a reaction to all this. The ‘ordinary’ people have finally got fed up and found their voice, much like us innies here, it drew me out of the woodwork. It will be very interesting to see what happens in France and Italy, maybe even Germany. Unfortunately there is a lot more crap to come, which saddens me even more.
This innie for one is fed up with being ignored, dismissed, sidelined.
Thank you. You’re a man after my own heart. Everything you said—total agreement.
Wow, lots of energy here, lots of frustration as well, which is certainly understandable. Before the election, and since it has been surprising how divided people are even throughout my social circles. We had two enigmatic figures as front runners in our election, neither was very popular on their own, and both had big problems in my view. It has been like watching a train-wreck ever since. I personally am not a fan of Trump or Clinton, and had really hoped that somebody normal would run for office, but in order to run you need lots of money or your voice won’t be heard, and-here we are… I think it’s important to remember that the outcome of our election isn’t necessarily the ideal for any of us, and it’s clear that had Clinton won, just as many people would be out here protesting, for different reasons, and from another perspective. Many people I know seem to think that those who voted for Trump are exactly like him, conversely, those who voted for Clinton, believe in everything that she is and stands for. The concept of divide and conquer seems to be in full force here, and from what I have seen so far, our political landscape is not an accurate reflection of the people who live here and around the world. We are better than that. We have so much more in common, yet reflecting on our differences comes naturally to all of us, myself included. Over a year ago I started to become uneasy about what the outcome of the election would bring, and that hasn’t changed much. Perhaps someday the people will gather together collectively in cooperation with one another and we will find a better way that more accurately reflects our ideals rather than our differences.
Before the election, I saw family and friends ‘ relationships falling apart because they were each so invested in their own viewpoints and would not stop expressing them. I asked the gentle monk who leads the Zen Center in my town for his advice. He said that when we discuss such a divisive subject among people whose views can very likely be different from ours, we are essentially dropping little bombs all over our relationships. He said that from the Zen standpoint, people seek harmony in their relationships and avoid such discussions. I know this can sound counter productive to many people reading this, and I spent a lot of time reflecting on its wisdom. People can still vote, protest, write letters to elected officials, get involved, etc. but they can avoid dropping their viewpoint bombs all over their family, friends, coworkers, He said that in American society ( he is from Asia ), we are heavily invested in our individuality and in saying what we think, no matter what the damage. Food for thought.
Most of these people have done ZERO research into the topics they protest. They have destroyed innocent peoples’ businesses, cost tax payer dollars, and they have even stopped immigrants from getting to work.
They preach “no fascists” while preventing free speech just because they don’t agree with it. And they don’t agree with it because they read a few headlines, and listened to a few soundclips that were edited and spun completely out of context.
Seriously. Look into all the things Trump has supposedly said — you will find that the media has completely spun his words. It’s crazy.
Unfortunately, Michaela I will also have to end our relationship. You have inserted yourself into a narrative that has nothing to do with introversion. Just as other celebrities have inserted themselves into the same narrative. When are some of the liberals going to quit being sore losers and accept the fact that we have a new president. You have been brainwashed to attempt to influence your audience into sharing your opinions. I’m sure the president wouldn’t criticize your expertise on introversion. You have every right to express your dissatisfaction, your personal dissatisfaction, but to include every introvert into the talking points is irresponsible.
Thank you for speaking up about what is happening in America & sharing your personal views. I have struggled also with whether or not to speak up, & find the issues we are facing are just too important not to. This has gone beyond mere politics, when there are so many dangerous changes being made that will truly alter the country’s value system. Those who want to ignore politics right now are selfish and blind. I believe anyone with any sort of platform should speak up. My Facebook posts are mostly ignored; my family especially is very split politically, but I don’t let it stop me. I hope the fact that you lose a few readers doesn’t stop you either. Just know that many of us agree & support you.
I support you, Michaela, in expressing yourself in any way you feel like on your own damn blog! I also happen to agree with you, but even if I didn’t, I believe I would find another site or even start my own. In the last few days we’ve heard Trump’s right hand man, Steve Bannon, a self-described Leninist who wants to destroy the government, tell the media to ‘shut up’. This is the message to all of us who oppose Trump and his agenda. I applaud you for speaking out and bringing your authentic self to your blog.
This is not about being a ‘sore loser’. It is about seeing our democracy threatened by a mentally unstable narcissist who has admitted he loves to fight and who believes if he repeats a lie enough people will believe it. He wrote about this in his book, The Art of the Deal. But there are many of us who do not believe him. I believe he and Steve Bannon are the most dangerous men I’ve seen in power in this country, certainly in my 54 years. I truly believe they will wreak havoc and that a nuclear strike against us will occur due to their recklessness. It is our right to speak out and protest and, yes, it is so bad that even introverts like myself will be raising hell.
Well said, right on! I second this, and I also support you fully for what you express/write. The bullies will come out when people (especially introverts) speak from their souls, minds, hearts… That makes it all the more incredibly important to keep writing your truth. It’s also my truth, and the truth of the sane, compassionate and clear-sighted.
Thanks for writing this article Michaela. It’s important to voice your concerns and unease and it echoes all I I am thinking
Thank you so much, Michaela, for being YOU and continuing to express your feelings and views. Please, don’t ever let bullies silence you when you need to speak. Stay true to yourself. What you wrote, and what you write, is excellent and on point. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Michaela, for expressing yourself. Please never give in to bullies who would have you not express yourself. Always be true to yourself and listen to your inner self. It seems to have guided you well. What you write, and what you wrote here, is SPOT ON. Please always stay true to you. This is an excellent and accurate post.
On this topic, you don’t have to speak up for two reasons: 1) You don’t know Trump, except through what you get from biased media, which means you don’t know Trump, and 2) you’re a foreigner; who we want for our President is none of your damned business. Worry about solving your own country’s problems, don’t bug us about how we solve ours or about whom we pick to solve our problems, and don’t trash the character of people you’ve never met and never will meet. (By the way, how are you a “nice Canadian girl” after that string of slurs against a stranger?)
You are right that I *should* stand up and let my voice be heard…but how?!?! How does one protest something they wholeheartedly agree with?
When the previous president was elected, those of us who disagreed with his policies shrugged our shoulders and kept going to work and being responsible adults. Our our prime “action” was simply awaiting the opportunity to vote for a candidate that represented our views. Why is it that the current opposition feels the need to scream and burn and destroy simply because *MY* views are now being represented?
I’m very surprised and disappointed at the actions of so many of my fellow “citizens”. I fear the USA we’ve all come to know and love may actually be too far gone for saving.
Hey Michaela, I am an introvert who has enjoyed your newsletters and bought one of your books, but I do not want to read this kind of material. I strongly do not believe it’s appropriate to post political views in this forum and indeed call for disruption of someone’s online accounts. This simply encourages more anger and more hate. Many have had enough of that. I am also a Republican as are many in this country, as you can see from the composition of the Congress, not just the White House. I also am a Catholic and believe in giving people a good chance and in supporting whoever is in charge to do a good job. A lot of people were very unhappy with the last presidency for 8 years, and this last election reflected that wide-spread discontent. I support gay rights, women’s rights, etc. and have had a very prestigious career for a long time. No one ever stood in my way and I am a woman. There are many fallacies, and a a lot of hate going around. Give the guy a chance. Read the news… ALL the news, not just the news that restates only one point of view. And think thoughtfully. And please, you write so very well about introversion! Keep that up! But please don’t write about politics in an introvert forum and then feed the fires of anger and hatred by suggesting attacks on another person who you simply disagree with.
I can’t add to that! Well said!
I voted for Obama once, It did not make me happy when he one. I voted against the second time. I did not cry when my candidate lost. Move on, take this set of tools & figure out how to use them. I’m sick of the crybabies who lost, their intolerance, bigotry. Hate. I think homosexuality is wrong. Abortion is wrong. It is not Christian, it is sick. Womanizing is wrong too, but remembers Monica Lewinsky? That president became a hero to many. How bad is trump? My closest & most religious friends make comments amongst the: guys” that are just childish posturing. Is not racists or demeaning, Do you see trump supporters burning down thing they don’t like?. The press is biased, worthless. I read one of Trumps books; I remember a story that changed my life. Two sisters were fighting over an orange. They cut it in half. Had they talked it out they would have learned that one wanted only to bake pie & needed only the peel. The other wanted the fruit. With A little communication thy both could have had it all.. A woman can grab my ass & its ok? Bothers me. no double standards there. no press either. Remember Spanky & the he man woman haters club? Must have been ‘terrible children, (cough cough) I’m trying to date, I don’t care how a woman voted, I’m glad she did. But some care how I voted to the point they say don’t contact me if…, that saves me a lot of trouble, eliminates, ladies with predujuce, hatred, think they’re better than others and have no tolerance for others. Thanks for saving me so much time. Men get abused too, my last relationship found a way to trick me into seeing her have sex with other men. but I am recovering, not blaming. My scores are 30 28 & 26, ..26 will change when I find someone, or simply choose to be happy in the status quo. I’m Poor, have physical handicaps & maybe some mental, I am finding fewer mental problems as I get to know myself here. Any of you ever met an actor back stage, drained. Different person you might never recognize .It’s a performance, required to do the best job, so is the presidency. It’s not an act. It’s a tool. I’m in Michigan, the big recount the democrats forced in Detroit. They found that the democrat’s got more votes then there were voters. Remember to ignore the press is to be uniformed, to applaud the press is to be misinformed. Educate yourself. If you don’t like my opinion, that’s ok, but if I’m not entitled to it you have a problem. I came here tonight needing to share & ask for advice & see if many of us are experiencing something I’m seeing as a problem that my not be. I will recharge, and then I’ll be back. Rant, shout Rave, get the last word if you like. This is the end of this topic for me. Goodnight all.
Michaela, thank you so much for taking the time to share your opinions on something you feel passionately about. You are using the platform you created to stand up and speak out, and that’s an amazing thing!
For those insisting that this is your personal safe space and telling Michaela that her opinions aren’t valid nor warranted here, please take a moment to consider where you are and what you’re asking. This IS a safe space where introverts can respectfully share their feelings, thoughts, and opinions and where other introverts can respectfully agree or disagree and share their own feelings and opinions.
Consider that you’re asking someone to quiet their voice, on their own platform, simply because it makes you uncomfortable. Looking at the title of this post, you know what it’s going to be about. You do have the choice not to click or engage with a post that you know isn’t going to mesh with your views and may possibly leave you feeling offended.
Rather than arguing, politely disagree and move on with your life. Are you truly proud of the time you’re wasting in an attempt to quiet someone you don’t agree with, when that individual’s opinion isn’t really affecting your life negatively in any direct way? Choose to click away. It takes less energy and shows more respect for your fellow introvert who has been struggling with using her voice in fear of offending others. Be proud of her for using her voice, whether you agree with the message or not.
And if you’re so vehemently perturbed by this message, I doubt this forum will be lost without your presence. Fare thee well and may you continue to grow and learn to be more open and accepting of other’s opinions even when they may not mirror your own. After all, personal growth is quite the journey and every individual’s experience and perception is not the same.
For that matter, Trump’s election doesn’t affect Michaela. Is she wasting her time? Her time’s hers to waste and so’s mine.
Trump’s election affects the entire world.
Firstly, as Michaela resides as a neighbor to our North and spends a great deal of time within the US, I feel that Trump’s candidacy is relevant and does directly affect her life. Our nation has ties in many countries and the actions of our nation and president do have direct ramifications on the lives of others.
Secondly, you’re missing my point entirely. By all means, waste your time. I’m not telling you not to. I’m asking the people that are telling Michaela not to voice her opinion on HER blog if they are truly proud of the time they are spending on trying to quiet a voice that does not sound like their own. I’m asking these individuals to disagree with the points being made, and provide a healthy discussion rather than telling her to “sit down and shut up, because her views aren’t welcome here”. (Not an actual quote, just a representation of my perception of these comments)
Right on! As for ‘giving Trump a chance’, I’m not a fan of either major party and totally agree that we need some ‘real’ change in this world, but we’ve already seen the damage Trump has done in only a couple of weeks in his actions and his cabinet appointees, and it’s only a preview of the massive deception and destruction to our country, our economy, and our planet (the latter being my greatest concern) over the next 4 years!
Thank you for this article, I completely agree with you. I live in the UK but still have very strong views on this subject. I surprised myself today, and the entire office, when a colleague of mine commented something about how people have forgotten about 9 11 and maybe Trump is right, I immediate jumped in and made it very clear that I passionately disagreed. I stopped short of a full on debate as I still didn’t want to upset him (he is a friend as well as a colleague) but I just couldn’t stay quiet and keep my opinion to myself. I’m still stewing about it now. Sometimes when you really believe in something you just have to speak up and make your opinion heard. The fact that it’s out of character can force people to listen.
You mean you bullied him for expressing a view with which you disagreed. And, if he did that to you, he’d be a “fascist,” right?
You are human. You have every right to talk about and have an opinion on ANYTHING you want to, Michaela. Keep going, please. You’re on the right track.
Sorry- I have to say this anonymously, I have info. Before I share, I want to say if this blog upsets you go back & look at the link you clicked to get here. We are told this is political and we are invited to comment. When I first saw this I almost quit the forum, (I don’t need this …. here), I did find myself venting a political view. I’d never do that in the venting forum. Think about that.. She gave us a place to vent politics, even if we never would have otherwise, venting can be good for us.
I get upset watching the news, I don’t KNOW why Trump blocked emigration for a short period from certain high risk countries. I do know there is a serious flaw in passport security. If it were made mainstream we would probably have to close all borders. The terrorist already know about it. I don’t think we’ll find any terrorist in this forum anyway, & few will read this far. The flaw is technical & will be solved shortly. Add your knowledge and intuition and keep an open mind. Moderator-my email is obviously fake. Add your judgment when deciding to pass this post, I’m counting on less than 1% of population being eligible for this forum & fewer knowing or signing up or I would not share as much as I have.
For the politically correct elitists, Trump is indeed bad. Very bad. Even fearful. Why? Because the scourge of Political Correctness is about to take a left hook and right cross. Maybe even a knee to the groin. That’s terrifying for the leftists and radicalized liberals. But Michaela, I couldn’t disagree with you more. Since you opened up this hornet’s nest of politics, I have no problem talking politics with you.
First, you should ask yourself how it was possible for some dude with “no chance of winning” ended up winning. Even after running the worst campaign ever. Even after doing everything in his power to lose.
Was it “sexism” because Hillary is a woman? Was it the angry white “racists” males that brought Trump victory? Nope. Not even close. Despite the media’s best attempts at suppression, the truth is people of all races, genders, orientations, and persuasions voted for Trump. Yes, that includes Muslims. Muslim women. Black men and women. Members of the LBTG community. And yes, even Mexicans.
So how did it happen? It’s pretty simple, Michaela. People are sick and tired of political correctness. People are sick and tired of being shamed for their patriotism and political views. The genius of Trump is that he is publicly saying without reservation what millions and millions of people feel deep in their hearts but are afraid to admit due to fear of shaming and political reprisal. And that’s a very good thing. Not since Reagan has this country seen a president who is willing to take political correctness head on, come hell or high water. Trump is stepping into those boots. And I say BRAVO!
So what is it that you couldn’t say until Trump unchained you? How were you so oppressed? Most of us Liberals are also patriots. You talk as though we aren’t. Does that mean YOU believe we are not simply because we do not agree with you? And are you saying it’s now politically correct to shut the left up? That kind of political correctness is fine? During George W. Bush’s tenure people were called unpatriotic if they didn’t support the Iraq war. People were practically tarred and feathered for disagreeing with Bush. You sound as if the Right has been attacked and oppressed for centuries. I don’t really ever recall the Right being silent about anything.
Anne, did you actually read my post? If you had, you would have known that I didn’t at any time say that I was oppresed or that Trump unchained me. Despite radicalized liberal’s best efforts, this is still a free country.
What I did say is that people of all persuasions and races voted for Trump and that enough people were so sick and tired of the scourge of political correctness that Trump got elected.
That was the tipping point. Not Trump. Not Hillary. Not Obama. But a previously silent wave American citizens who have had enough of political correctness, aka the liberal agenda.
Well said James, I agree completely with you.
Trump is as horrible as you say, Michaela.
As I see it, the challenge with the present model of democracy is that it forms a one-way path of responsibility between voter and politician. In other words, voters can pick a party/politician for just the one or two issues that are important to them, and they do not need to feel responsible for the sum total of the politician’s actions (and consequences thereof) while they are in office. This is a moral hazard that is inherent to agency relationships.
Personally, I think this is why the current system gives us less-than-ideal choices to begin with, and for so many voters, it is a strategic or emotional choice, instead of a rational one.
This problem isn’t just a right/left/libertarian issue. The same factors were at play with Canada’s federal election a few years ago, and the outcome was similar, although the choice was on the opposite side of the political spectrum. Two sides of the same coin.
Hi Michaela, I’ve been reading through the comments here and red your post, and I neither take offense with any comment or your post. I still think it’s attractive of you to speak your mind. Personally I take a neutral view on politics, I do have a leaning toward being a fiscal conservative and a social liberal.
If anyone is curious about Michaela’s blog post, it more about her values and principles then politics. Michaela has been to what I’ve seen worried a lot about how other feel, this has gone on since before Christmas last year, finally the stress and fear and anxiety has reached a level where she couldn’t take it anymore and she needed to vent and I’m glad I’m here for her and able to validate her feelings as being normal and Okay. If your wondering how the INFP mind works, it starts with a feeling (Fi) then that needs more exploration (Ne) then that gets filtered by way of memory (Si) and finally weighed against her principles, then it’s either discarded as not really important or it’s blown out of proportion by excessive stress and anxiety already present, and it comes out like this blog post. Personally it doesn’t bother me, she allowed to vent anytime she wants and she can vent to me all she wants I’ll hear her out so she can process her emotions, it would be unhealthy for her not to. The good news is once she’s vented she returns usually to her wonderful self and moves on to other things. 🙂
The only thing that concerns me here is the misuse of the words narcissist and bully. I get that it makes people feel big by making others feel small, yes I do see this a lot in politics and yes Trump has used this himself. If we don’t check ourselves we risk becoming that which we hate, keep that in mind as were all human here.
I wanted to explain that being a narcissist is not bad, we all are narcissists to a healthy degree, because it’s healthy to want reasonable attention from others at times, especially those we are connected to and care about. However when someone suffers from unhealthy adult narcissism and becomes a bit too self absorbed, this is actually a defense mechanism, no it doesn’t feel good to be around people using this type of schema, I’ve been around many that do, same with negative people.
People with unhealthy adult narcissism are created when very young, they have suffered from either neglect or abuse as a child, and are best dealt with through kindness and compassion. Sometimes leverage is needed to get them to change, not force.
However, it is common that bulling and narcissism can go hand in hand, mainly because they share a similar problem, that of feeling inferior, they tend to envy others and do what they can to prevent further damage to their ego.
Also Narcissists are not typically the sorts of people who voluntarily seek help, coaching, or any kind of assistance with breaking down their impenetrable walls. If anything, they avoid this type of interaction at almost all costs, whether through mockery, externalizing blame onto someone else, various forms of distraction and hiding, or adamant refusal.
That being said all of us can play a vital role in opening the door to the possibility for change, through leverage if need be, or perhaps just by offering kindness and compassion. No matter what the outcome in terms of changes in the narcissist or your interaction with one, you can play a significant role in your own liberation from fear, intimidation, subjugation, self-sacrifice, and even abuse by identifying the life themes and schemas of your early experience, paying attention to triggering events and interanl cues, setting limits, and adapting your responses to both the automatic inner dialogue and to the button pusher in your life. And liberating this healthy, wise, and awakened you is perhaps the ultimate achievement.
I do recommend this book:
it helped me understand more about people that do suffer from narcissism and how to manage my own triggers, which was best for me, as trying to control someone else is a fools game.
Another resource I found and this helps to relieve things on a more immediate basis is this: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/anxiety-treatment
If you’ve never used hypnosis before, I assure you as a certified hypnotist that it’s as safe as day dreaming, you do it naturally.
I hope you folks feel better soon, and try to put your energy and focus on more positive things for your own sake. Avoid the news if you can especially if you are triggered easily, and take time for yourself to exercise some self care.
I really appreciate your post, James. You provided a lot of good information about narcissism and I’ll be looking into your book recommendation. As someone who has struggled due to growing up around multiple individuals with severely narcissistic traits, I hope it can provide a bit more insight on my own triggers and better communicating/associating with such a personality type without it compromising my own sense of self.
Hi Christina, thank you for your kind words, I appreciate you too for your courage and vulnerability with sharing your truth about how you grew up, that takes guts to put that out there. I don’t know if you’ll read this comment or not but I do hope you will, and if not, hopefully what I say here helps people overcome a lot of baggage they needlessly carry around and find hope and healing for all they’ve been through.
Part of my point with my comment before had to do with emotional intelligence, and this is directed at everyone. We all need to become more emotionally intelligent and understand more how we affect people in this world, how we treat others is how we treat ourselves.
Criticism, blame, intolerance, impatience, generalizing, ignorance and negativity are not the character traits of a kind, nurturing society, yet we all show these traits to some extent.
When you’re on the receiving end you know exactly how unfair and how unkind the judgments other people make about you can be. Introverts know this well. They just don’t know the full story, do they? They jump to conclusions, they assume things, they generalize about you from some trivial detail. And they often go for the most negative interpretation possible.
It hurts. And sometimes we treat ourselves just as harshly.
But of course this is a two-way street. We too may be a bit prone to rush to judgment about others, to make harsh comments about people’s actions, or way of life, to react with anger and rejection when you really don’t know the full story. And while we can’t make other people be nicer to us or to each other, we certainly can do something about how kind you are yourself.
We all look at other people ‘from the outside’. The only person we really know ‘from the inside’ is ourselves – and goodness knows, we often find that we don’t know ourselves all that well, really! But we generally know ourselves a bit better than we know other people. This doesn’t prevent us from acting as though we know all about them. We pigeonhole and label people without a second thought, sure that we have them ‘sussed’.
One day, if you’re lucky, something wakes you up to the realization that other people, though clearly just as human as you, really are mysterious, and deeply different in many ways from yourself. You find yourself saying things like “Why on earth did they do that?” or “How on earth do they do that?” But rather than just being a throw-away comment, you find yourself really wanting to know.
There’s various ways to find out about what lies behind other people’s actions and attitudes. You can talk to them and ask them. You can read books or watch TV programs or movies or search the internet. But all this information, however good, is still, to you, ‘from the outside’. To really ‘get’ what makes another person tick, you have to experience what it’s like to be them.
Not at all. Of course, you can’t actually become them (though plenty of movies have been made that might make you think otherwise!). But, as a human being with a lot of your own living behind you, as a human being with a powerful and creative human mind, you can imaginatively put yourself in their place. This allows you pick up intuitively on what has made them what they are and to begin to see others with more compassion.
Anyway, I have a couple more books to recommend:
Children of the self absorbed by Nina W. Brown ed.D., LPC
Loving the self absorbed by Nina W. Brown ed.D., LPC
Both of these books can be found on Amazon and have helpful information to protect yourself emotionally, let go of old patterns and build a new sense of self. Dr. Brown is actually a local college professor where I live and she’s good people. I personally learned a lot about people from her by reading the material she puts out. Dr. Brown, points out that there are 4 distinct destructive narcissistic patterns to peoples behavior, they are; Hungry, Suspicious, Manipulative and Exhibitionist, in each is a spectrum, from pathological to healthy, many folks fall within the healthy range however, narcissism is always about getting our needs met, those needs are, certainty, variety/uncertainty, significance, love and connection these are the needs of the person and growth and contribution are the needs of the soul, without meeting these needs we would die, so we can from this perspective see how important these needs are to everyone and how people go about meeting these needs even if they are not the most effective ways, they still meet them.
Lol people don’t even know why they hate Trump. The media sells cheap propaganda but most anti-Trump protesters don’t even know WHY they hate him. Is it because he doesn’t give a damn about the mainstream media ”norms”? Is it because he dared say that illegal and therefore DANGEROUS immigrants should not be allowed to come in? Is it because he spoke of a wall? Do people even know that Mexico has ALSO raised a wall for the same reasons on its borders with Guatemala?
No probably they don’t because people listen only to their good ol’ tv and Hillary pedo-Clinton who has not only enabled pedophiles, both rich and poor but she;’s also mixed directly in pedophilic scandals and rapes along with her husband. I find it hillarious that people call Trump a misogynist but they have no problems supporting an evil person like Hillary and her whole gang.
I guess people choose which evil people they side with and which ones are too ”evil” for them, based on mere propaganda and idiotic stereotypes? Even if we suppose that Trump is all that bad…where were the people protesting when Hillary took decisions to bomb poor countries like Libya and kill off innocents? Where were all these humanitarians when Obama’s government enabled ISIS terrorists and even sent American special forces members to TRAIN them? Such hypocrites…I hope my comment doesn’t go to the ”censored” tabs.
my thoughts exactly. kind of scary how dumb and ignorant people are.
As a person whose energy is renewed by less interaction with people, I can relate to your introversion. I can also relate to the generalized abstraction of your recent experience with politics on general — i.e. going from feeling like you were an insider and belonging to the party or group in power to feeling like an outsider. However as many of your posters have let you know – I too felt this way under Obama and not under Trump. Trump isn’t a saint, but he isn’t the demonic, loathsome jerk the media wants people to believe.
Who are the outsiders when conservatives are seeing a tidal rise in power? I think it‘s those who adhere to the Egalitarian mindset and feel the need for Social Justice. Who are the outsiders when Egalitarians are seeing a rise in power? Those who realize that Life isn’t Fair and like Murray Rothbard realize that Egalitarianism is a Revolt Against Nature. Political equality is what conservatives fight for not Social Justice. They desire a much lower flat tax for everyone including the rich since they know that they are likely to get richer the closer they reach retirement under the kind of free market policies that Trump encourages. They don’t get bent out of shape knowing that some man or woman out there might make more money than them and that there isn’t some hidden agenda to screw one gender or race out of making the most of themselves.
Ultimately Social Justice and political equality are mutually exclusive and oppose each other. The historic socialists of the Far Left (communists) and Far Right (national socialists) wanted social justice and all the power to tell people how to live their lives (like Obamacare tried to do). Conservatives desire political power in order to guarantee libertarian principles of small government and predictable government that follows the Rule of Law. Obama‘s government was unpredictable and didn’t follow the Rule of Law from raiding Gibson Guitars to neglecting serious border issues that made Arizona residents furious that kidnappings and violence from drug lords were threatening their residents.
Thank you so much for this article, agree with every word. the comments were both enlightening and slightly disturbing- so as an infj, i found the dichotomy fascinating. I was shocked by the people suggesting you shouldn’t voice your opinion on YOUR page because it offended them- while supporting a man who prides himself on offending EVERYONE. I still suspect a couple were bots/trolls, because its hard to believe that introverts could possess such little self-awareness. I’ve always associated introversion with empathy and insight- qualities Trump and most of his supporters are glaringly lacking.
I know it’s disheartening- but on those days when the negativity seems overwhelming, and you’re staring at the tv wondering how anyone can actually believe a word he says, just remember that we’re on the right side of history. History shows that humanity is constantly moving toward progress and enlightenment. The old guard often makes a last gasp @ power, but they have always been drowned out by the enlightenment of future generations. The misogyny, xenophobia, and elitism of Trump and his movement are the last gasp of the old guard, becoming more irrelevant and ridiculous every day. Perhaps America needed this period of regression to teach future generations the importance of tolerance and empathy. And if I’m wrong, I’ll just move to Canada, Your PM seems to have the right idea-got a guest room? 😉
Love your page, keep fighting the good fight!