how to be more social

I love summer, but it can get exhausting.

Where I live the weather is rainy all winter so when the sun is out there’s a lot of pressure to get out there and seize the day.

The problem is that as an introvert I can only do so much seizing.

Maybe you can relate…

Even though you’ve been enjoying summer barbecues and beach days, you’re just about ready to go into hibernation mode.

The sweet simplicity of routines and a predictable (and sparse) social calendar calls to you.

But there’s a problem.

The summer ain’t over yet. And that means there are still plenty of social activities to attend, including birthdays, weddings and work parties.

Although it’s ok to say no and just recharge your introvert batteries, sometimes this just isn’t an option.

So, in case you need a boost, here are some tips to be more social—even if you’re introverted and hate parties:

Choose the right environments and people

I know this isn’t always an option. But when you’re choosing between a few different activities, always choose the one that best aligns with your interests and values.

Go to the party where there will be like-minded people. Choose the smaller gathering over the rowdy get-together with strangers.

Front-load socializing

As an introvert, I know that I have limited social batteries.

That’s why I try to push myself to connect meaningfully at the beginning of a social event. This way I can make a great first impression before I run out of social steam.

It also means that if I need to duck out to recharge, I can leave knowing that I’ve made the most of my time.

Why not give it a try yourself? Front-load your socializing by taking more initiative at the beginning of an event.

Be actively quiet

It’s totally ok to be quiet for a while. But sometimes it might feel weird to sit by yourself in silence while everyone else is mixing and mingling.

The good news is you can enjoy a sliver of solitude without looking weird by being “actively quiet”.

You can do this by helping to clean up, exploring the surroundings, or actively listening to a group conversation (nod, make eye contact, laugh and smile to show that you’re engaged).

Set social micro goals

Having small but meaningful goals can help motivate you to socialize. Choose an area of socializing that you would like to improve upon.

It could be eye contact, initiating conversations, or asking creative questions.

Be sure to choose a goal that’s doable but a stretch. Just focus on one thing and follow through!

Let them know you like them

Often, we spend so much time worrying if people like us that we forget to show others that we like them.

You can make people feel like you enjoy their company by being fully present, asking thoughtful questions, reacting with enthusiasm and giving genuine compliments. 

After all, everyone yearns for validation. Giving it to others will make socializing more fun and meaningful.

Give it a try and see how it goes. For more insights on how to confidently socialize as an introvert, be sure to grab my free Introvert Conversation Cheat Sheet.