INFJ dark side

I’m an eternal optimist and a fierce defender of everything the INFJ personality represents. As a professional coach focused on INFJs, it’s my job and calling to see that hidden potential you have, and to show you how to let it out without guilt. But the term “INFJ dark side” caught my attention recently, since it was mentioned that some influential people who are INFJs had a darker side. So, I decided to dig deeper and ask myself…

Do INFJs have a dark side?

The answer is, yes, absolutely. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous while writing this, because as with everything, there’s no middle ground with INFJs, even when we think about the INFJ dark side. As someone who believes in the INFJ personality so much, I had to think carefully about how to explain the dark we have within. The response was, we are only human, after all.

Everyone has something dark that they don’t want to come out, and we INFJs are no different. The only concern is, what is ours? Well I can tell you, (warning, vulnerable moment ahead) my dark side is that I am like a Celtic warrior if somebody hurts my friend, and people I cherish the most.

In these situations, everything that makes me an INFJ seems to evaporate. My calm, calculated, analytic nature is gone, and my sole purpose is to protect the ones I love. Am I afraid of my INFJ dark side? Of course I am, but it doesn’t control me. The peacemaker instinct that the majority of INFJs have is just too strong for us to ever allow the darkness to overwhelm us.

To help you understand the dark side of an INFJ, I’ll share three scary examples of our hidden, rarely seen side. It’s better to read about it than to experience it first hand, right?

1. Door Slam coldness.

The INFJ Door Slam on its own is an act of self-care for INFJs. However, when we close the door, you’ll also experience an INFJ’s coldness. The person who faced this chilling moment literally doesn’t exist to us anymore, and no plea or apologies work, no matter how much you meant to us before. You are erased from our mind, and we will behave like you never existed.

2. Fierceness and aggression.

Whatever you do, never hurt a friend of an INFJ. All of our virtues, our measured thoughts, understanding, acceptance, kindness — it all disintegrates when our friend or loved one is in danger. We will act immediately and decisively with no second thought. We’ll do everything to protect the ones we love. We become fierce warriors that know no fear, and it can be a really terrifying thing to see.

3. INFJ rage.

I recently saw a picture where the rage of an INFJ was compared to that of The Incredible Hulk — a good comparison. You must understand, a lot of INFJs were bullied, humiliated, or mocked at some point in our life. Even our kindness has limits. I always believed that the scariest sight for me would be seeing an angry INFJ. If that ever happens to you, run.

The question you are probably asking yourself after reading this is…

How to keep our INFJ dark side under control?

Luckily, the moments when the INFJ dark side takes over are extremely rare, but they can happen. For me personally, it’s our rage that scares me the most. It’s that loss of control that can be frightening. But even then, remember to take a deep breath, look at the situation from a different perspective, and remind yourself that goodness and understanding are our trademarks.

I’ve said countless times that INFJ acceptance knows no bounds, and that’s 100 percent true. We are diplomats and peacemakers, and we blindly believe in humanity, regardless of what is happening.

So, even in your darkest hour, tell yourself that this world has seen its fair share of evil, and that you are the representative of all that is kind. There is always good to be found, and INFJs are its seekers and protectors. ☺

What would be your INFJ dark side my fellow INFJ?

Do you believe you have one? Please share your comments below, I am really curious to hear your thoughts on this! ☺



Marko Kircanski INFJ coaching