How many times have you wanted to do something, but never did because you feared that it wouldn’t work out? Being INFJs, we’ll analyze every possible outcome before taking action. It’s not that we’re afraid to start, but the fear of failure deeply troubles our INFJ mind. We worry that we will do our best, but it won’t be enough. And we will fail.
The INFJ Fear of Failure
I wanted to share my experience with failure, so that you know I understand you. Many believe that I’m this unbreakable INFJ figure that can beat failure no matter what. But not many know that at the end of 2016, I was on the verge of quitting everything. I thought I was failing at what I do, and that I wouldn’t know how to live my purpose.
That was by far one of the most difficult moments when it comes to my own fear of failure as an INFJ. I thought I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t worthy of the chance that was given to me. Suffice it to say, that was classic INFJ imposter syndrome combined with fear. Luckily, my mentor knew exactly what to do, and she understood how to bring me back.
I still have moments when I doubt who I am. Sometimes, my fear of letting myself and those who believe in me down outweighs my positive attitude. I’m human after all, and I have my own demons that sometimes try to make me feel worthless. As an INFJ, you understand how scary that can be.
Because I know how frightening the fear of failure is for INFJs, I’ll share with you three effective ways you can conquer it, and approach it from a different perspective.
1. Fear motivates.
Every action and thought that makes you feel uncomfortable comes out of fear. When you want to make a change, you’re afraid of the unknown and of what might happen. That’s when you need to use fear as a fuel, because it will not only pump the necessary adrenaline for you to focus, but also prove that what you’re doing matters.
2. Failure is a hidden lesson.
Even though we are rare and misunderstood, INFJs are the most determined personality type. When we’re moving towards our goal, nothing will stop us. We won’t hurt anyone, but we won’t give up either. The fear of failure is justified, but accepting it is not. Even if things don’t go as planned, try again and again until you succeed. Embrace the failure as a lesson that had to be learned.
3. Be fearful, not fearless.
I know this sounds contradictory, but here’s the catch. Trying to be fearless when approaching a problem won’t work. Instead, acknowledge that you’re scared, but give that sensation a meaning. It’s not about the lack of fear, it’s about knowing it’s there, but choosing to do it anyway. This is the definition of courage.
Fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons why so many INFJs don’t live the life they imagined. I’m scared of so many things, and one of my worst nightmares (warning, vulnerability ahead) is that I won’t be there for the ones I care for the most. But instead of allowing that fear to consume me, I’ve decided to use it as an ally.
Fear is not the enemy
Not a week goes by that I don’t tell the ones who matter the most to me how much I cherish them and how valuable they are. Of course I’m scared I’ll bother them, but the funny thing about us INFJs is that the right people are drawn to our authenticity like magnets.
If you have a fear of failure, remember that you are not alone my fellow INFJ. I’m not saying that to give you a pat on the back, because you’re strong enough to succeed even without that. Just know that there’s nothing wrong with being scared of failing. <3
Famous American actor, Denzel Washington, gave a wonderful explanation on the fear of failure that is definitive proof of why you’re destined to succeed. It’s only a matter of time.
“You will fail at some point in your life. Accept it. You will lose. You will embarrass yourself. You will suck at something. But to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. And when you fall throughout life, fall forward.”
Have you read this yet?
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Now to you
What are your thoughts on the fear of failure? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below, I would love to hear what you think. ☺
Great article Marko. I am the ambivert fan of this blog just reminding your community that these stories attract our type as well (half introvert, half extrovert). Let me briefly say I have forced myself to face my fear of failure at starting a business 3 times! Each time ended in embarrassment and lost money. If I was a rich man it would not matter but I am just an average income earner. One year ago, I embarked on my 4th bold business venture. I am wading through my fear of yet another failure once again. Surprisingly it is getting easier to stay in this “uncomfortable zone” while I continue to try new tactics to make my business work. I tell myself at least I am putting myself in the “arena of life instead of sitting in the bleachers..” a phrase I heard FDR once said. Although this story may not sound like an inspiring testimony yet, I want everyone to know we must take chances in this life which includes being fearful in the process. If nothing else, it will absolutely keep you feeling alive.
Thank you, Tony! So wonderful to hear ambivert point of view on this! 🙂 I believe this is great story about courage and determination, what you did. Like you said, brave ventures like yours keep us alive. Thank you for sharing it.
I’ve come to realize my fear of failure comes from the fear of being defined by it. I used to be my worst critic because I’d directly associate my perfomance in life to my worth as person. So, if I failed on an exam, or got rejected by a crush, in my mind it meant I was a loser. Nowadays I’m still a bit hard on myself, but I’ve learned to deal with failure with more maturity and resilience. I always try my best, but I give myself permission to fail. At worst, I’ll just need to take a few steps back and adjust my strategies, but at best, I’ll have learned a lesson and got a little smarter.
I hear you, but like said, there are hidden lessons everywhere, and as difficult as they may be, they can reveal an opportunity we couldn’t see straight away. 🙂 But it’s still hard, I understand that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
“Fearless” is a misnomer. “Be courageous” is the accurate response to fear. Do it anyway…despite what you may or may not know…ESPECIALLY as an INFJ who is so dependent on our ideals (we live by them even as we are imperfect).
Of course…BE PRUDENT (as life teaches us what works and doesn’t work).
Failure IS a tremendous teacher (we gain prudence from failure), AND…”The most successful people fail the most because they have courage to keep trying until they get it right.” I bet an INFJ said that though I forget where I heard it from.
LOL…Peace out fellow INFJs.
Well said, Rayofhelios! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
What you said is true… Infj pride!! I can feel them. Most of times when i do my work. I feel the about i will fail and use to endup and startup the nextday. But it makes it work.
Thanks, Ram! I hear you and understand. Thank you for sharing this!
Holy cow this article was spot on for me. I’m always so mortified when it comes to new things because I’m afraid I’ll be embarrassed in the face of failure or that I proved to everyone that I actually wasn’t able to achieve and that all I am is a failure. Being an INFJ is so hard but man it’s nive to know there’s others around who feel the way I do thank you for the article!!
I’m glad the article resonated with you, Abbey. 🙂 I hear you, it’s not easy being an INFJ sometimes, but know that you are not alone, and you are enough. 🙂