infj relationships

INFJ relationships can be tricky. We want deep, soul-shaking connection. But we don’t always know how to get there.

Our personality consists of only 1 percent of the world population. We are rare, and not so easy to understand. Our rarity can be challenging, but it is also our greatest gift. We are unique, therefore we need a unique connection as well.☺

Establishing a lasting connection is a defining moment in our life. INFJ relationships are based on our magnificent ability to connect with our partners.

The blueprint for connection in INFJ relationships is based on understanding. Not many people will be wired the same way we are. When we connect with someone, this truly is a magical moment for INFJs.

Connection Surpasses Introversion or Extroversion

My relationships were mostly directed towards extroverted women. I never asked myself why this is the case. I simply followed my intuition. One relationship in particular stands out.

Six years ago I met someone who I thought was my soulmate. This was the first time I felt true love. What made this so special was the insanely good connection we had. We literally finished each other’s sentences.

Never did I once pay attention to the fact that she is an extrovert. It didn’t matter. All that was important to me was that we understood each other. For the first time I told myself: “I can be vulnerable with this person, and not be afraid.”

The relationship didn’t last, but I will never forget what we had. It didn’t matter that we had different personality types. It was that pure, authentic connection that mattered most. Here is the equation that made the difference:

Connection + Understanding = INFJ Relationships Soar

Deep connection isn’t just about having a good conversation. It’s so much more. It expands into the realm of ideas, understanding and acceptance. As INFJs, we excel in all of these areas.

Here are 4 steps to deep connection in INFJ relationships:

1. Make the time.

Always create the time for the one you cherish. Whether you are single and seeking a relationship, or you are already in one. Remember, there is no such thing as being “too busy”. Even one small message can be a day-changer. ☺

2. Unconditional attention.

Talking, listening – it doesn’t matter – give that person your absolute attention. Shut down all else around you. In today’s world, undivided attention is a priceless gift, and we INFJ’s excel at it!

3. Three magical sentences.

Even the smallest action can have a lasting effect. Use these words to make the one you love feel like the brightest light in the sky:

• “You are beautiful just the way you are“
• “You are not alone, I’m here“
• “No matter what happens, I will not abandon you“

4. Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is the key ingredient for a strong and lasting connection in INFJ relationships. A whole new dimension of possibilities opens up. In that moment, when you feel utterly “naked“ before someone, it will all be worth it (admit it, this made you giggle 😉 ) .

Open yourself to the one you trust and cherish. Trust her/him. Be vulnerable! The greatest strength is not being strong all the time. It comes from absolute vulnerability.

As famous American public speaker, and author Brene Brown said:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.“

Many people say that when you meet the right person, you will be nervous, your hands will sweat, you will be confused.

However, in my opinion, when you establish a deep connection with that special someone, you will not feel nervous, anxious, or have the feeling of panic.

You will be calm, and you will be completely aligned with your inner self. Your mind and body will act as one beautiful whole.

If you’ve been lonely for a while, it might be tempting to settle for a mediocre relationship. I can tell you right now, there are more unhappy people in a relationship, than single.

Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Only allow yourself to be happy with someone who deserves you!

Get The FREE INFJ Relationship Guide

If you’re interested in connecting with other INFJs from around the world, join Introvert Spring’s private INFJ forum. We are truly a buzzing community! You’ll gain access to unique and 100% private discussions, INFJ blog posts, member events, and videos.

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Over to you

Have you ever experienced the soul-shaking connection every INFJ craves? I’d love to hear your insights and experiences! Please share in the comments below.

Lots of love,


Hi, I’m Marko, the Introvert Spring INFJ forum coordinator. I’m a writer and marketing expert, with a rich background in leadership and communications. Right now, my biggest passion is helping to grow the Introvert Spring INFJ forum, so INFJs have a place to feel seen, understood, and inspired.